“God, that woman and her mouth,” she mutters.
“It slipped out. And honestly, I’m glad I know.”
I try to meet her eye, but she turns her back to me and tugs her robe back up. Her smooth, shapely back disappears before I’ve had anything close to enough of it.
“Jules—”
She covers her face with her hands. “Oh God, I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed in my life. You can just go if you want. Forget this ever happened.”
I put a hand on each of her shoulders and give her a quick but firm shake. “No. I don’t want to go. Or forget this. I said it all wrong. Please turn around.”
She shakes her head no, but her spine loses some of its rigidity.
“Come on,” I coax and squeeze her shoulders gently. “I promise I’ll make it worth the effort.”
Her whole body sags in resignation, and she spins around to face me. Her eyes focus on a spot on my shoulder, and she blows out a breath. “I’m listening.”
I don’t know what it is about her that has me spilling my guts and being fucking vulnerable. Maybe it’s because she’s so vulnerable and open, too. And I’ve already told her my deep dark secret, this is nothing. “I spent my twenties having sex with women who I found attractive but had nothing in common with. I did it because it suited my lifestyle, and after my parents’ clusterfuck of a marriage, a committed relationship was the last thing on my radar. At the same time, I’m not someone who forms shallow connections. But that’s all I got when I jumped into bed with someone before I found out they were an asshole, or hated animals, or one of my friends, or traveling, or some other deal breaker.”
“Okay… I’m not an asshole, I love cats. I love the one friend of yours I know, and even though I haven’t done much of it, I love to travel.”
I laugh at the expectant look on her face. “I was just using those as examples. But what I’m trying to say is no matter how many nights that chocolate on your nipple haunts my dreams, I don’t want to rush this.”
She blinks rapidly at her chest where her nipples press against the thin fabric, crosses her arms, and runs her narrowed, assessing eyes over me. “Are you serious? Or is this…a nice way of letting me down?”
I laugh. “I’m serious. Is that so strange?”
“It’s just… Reena told me you were a complete commitment-phobe. I’m not looking for a relationship, either. I thought this would be perfect for you.”
“So in other words, you want to use me for sex.”
Her eyes widen in horror. “That’s not what I meant. God—I just?—”
“I’m joking.” I laugh, but she doesn’t. “Jules, I’ve had a crush on you for months.”
“You have? On me?” She points at herself like there’s someone else here.
“Yes. At first, just because your smile lit up the room. But then, because of the way you treat your coworkers and regulars like family. You’re kind and funny and really, really forgiving. And did I mention your smile?”
She chuckles quietly. “You did. Thank you for saying all of that. I’m glad you like me for me.”
I take her hand. “I do. I’m not looking for a relationship either. I’m going home. My first time was such a disaster, and it took me a long time to find my confidence as a lover after it. I wish I’d been with someone who knew what they were doing. And someone who cared about me. I don’t want you to have any regrets I was your first.”
She frowns. “Okay.”
I turn her hand over in mine and inspect it while I try to find the right words to answer that. “I know the package I present. But I also know the way we see people changes once we know how they think. I come with a few warning labels that you need to be aware of.”
“Okay, tell me,” she demands.
“I’d rather show you.”
She tugs her hands free and snatches a notepad off the small console table in her entryway and hands it to me.
“So write them down and show me now.”
I snicker and take the notepad from her and put it back on the table. “I mean by spending time together.”
Her smile peeks back out, and she bites her lip. “I like the sound of that.”