Page 26 of The Housekeeper's One-Night Baby
‘It can wait.’
‘Right.’ Still she didn’t turn round, but now she could barely hold the paintbrush, her fingers were so clammy, and she knew she couldn’t maintain this charade of polite conversation for much longer. ‘Was there something in particular you wanted, Niccolò?’
He didn’t answer, just walked across the bare floorboards to peer over her shoulder. Usually Lizzie hated it when people did that but her reaction was complicated by the fact that she liked him being this close to her.
‘It’s good,’ he said steadily, his gaze flicking from canvas to photo. ‘I’ve never met the dog, of course, but you seem to have created an uncanny likeness.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, wishing his praise didn’t fill her with such a disproportionate amount of joy.
‘You’re welcome,’ he said, but now his voice sounded strained. Different.
She turned round then, surprised to see the shadows beneathhiseyes, as if sleep had eluded him, too. But she didn’t comment on it, as she might have done if they were a real couple. Because they weren’t, she reminded herself bitterly. Hadn’t he drummed that into her over and over again?
Their relatively banal exchange was in danger of lulling her into a false state of security, but as she stared into the obsidian gleam of his eyes, Lizzie knew she couldn’t let that happen.
So have the discussion now,she thought.Don’t wait for the ‘right’ moment, because there is no such thing. And don’t use the image of a cute, fluffy dog to try to invoke some sort of emotion from this cold-hearted man because he doesn’t seem capable of it.
Rising from her chair, she rubbed her left hand in the small of her back and saw his eyes narrow.
‘Are you okay?’
She wondered what he’d say if she mentioned that his baby was especially active today, whether that would elicit the kind of response she dreamed of. But she didn’t enlighten him.
‘I’m absolutely fine,’ she said instead. ‘But I’m thinking about going back to England sooner, rather than later.’
There was a pause.
‘You said a month.’
‘Did I?’
‘You know you did,’ he said heatedly.
‘I don’t remember signing a contract!’
She could see him dragging in a deep breath, as if she had taken him by surprise.
‘Why?’ he demanded. ‘I mean, why now?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ She stared at him. ‘This isn’t working, Niccolò, we both know that. I mean, it’s working up to a point, but it’s not ideal.’
‘Is it because we didn’t have sex last night?’
‘No!’ But his brutal candour cut through her defences. ‘Well, maybe a bit. It’s...’ Be honest, she thought. Don’t try to pretend to be someone else and then get trapped in a web of your own deceit. ‘Staying here is doing my head in,’ she admitted. ‘It seemed like a good idea, back in England. I was tired and, yes, of course I was worried about the future, like anyone else in my position would be. And then you turned up like some knight in shining armour, and although you were grouchy you offered me a safe haven and a break from responsibility and it seemed too good an opportunity to miss. But that party last night was excruciating—’
‘Every time I looked, you seemed to be enjoying yourself,’ he mused.
Oh, youstupidman. ‘I was. To an extent. They’re a bunch of very interesting people, but I’m an imposter and nothing can take that away.’
‘Yet Donna rang me up and wondered if we’d like to spend Thanksgiving with them.’
‘Because it’syouthey want, not me,’ she exploded. ‘I’m not even your current piece of arm candy, am I, Niccolò? And I can’t cope with the sustained curiosity which will arise if I continue to accompany you to these kinds of events. With me getting bigger with every day which passes while you...’
‘While I what?’ he prompted curiously as her words tailed off.
Was it so wrong to voice your worst fears? What did she have left to lose? ‘I don’t know,’ she said slowly. ‘I started thinking that maybe I’m providing some kind of hidden service in your life, which you haven’t bothered telling me about.’
His eyebrows rose. ‘Perhaps you’d care to elaborate?’
