Page 176 of By His Play

I may not have risked glancing in a mirror for a few hours, but I have a very good idea of how I look.

My fingers have run through my hair one too many times already today, and I know my eyes are dark from lack of sleep.

No matter what I do, every time I fall asleep, she’s there, and I wake up thinking it’s real and searching for her.

It’s fucking pathetic, and it needs to stop.

I’m supposed to be doing exactly what I told that reporter this morning.

I should be relaxing and getting ready for the upcoming season.

I need to be ready. I need to be in peak condition before the rigorous schedule hits.

“Don’t you have work to do?” I finally mutter, knowing I’m not going to get out of this. Once Kian has made up his mind about something, it happens.

“Nothing that can’t wait a few hours,” Lori says softly before she disappears down the hallway, leaving me alone with my brother.

“She’s really got you tied up in knots, huh?”

“W-what?” I stutter, pretending not to know what he’s talking about.

With a smirk playing on his lips, he shakes his head.

“Pretend all you want, but I've been there. I know exactly what you’re going through right now.”

I narrow my eyes at him, my jaw popping.

“As if. No one ever wanted to be your friend,” I quip before spinning on my heels, ready to march toward whichever bar he has in mind.

Maybe a couple of glasses of scotch will help settle me.

“Missing your best friend barely scratches the surface of what you’re going through right now,” Kian says, making my steps falter. “You’re in denial. That’s cool. But eventually, you’ll figure it out. So will she.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I shoot over my shoulder.

All he does is chuckle.

Asshole.

“Ready?” Lori asks, stepping out from behind her desk with her jacket on and purse over her shoulder.

“Does he have to come?” I ask, thumbing over my shoulder to indicate Kian.

“Sadly,” she laughs.

“I heard that,” Kian snaps.

“You were meant to.”

Thankfully, I’m no longer the focus of their conversation as we make our way to a bar a few blocks over.

Lori and I find a seat while Kian goes to the bar to order.

“How are you really doing?” Lori asks, her voice serious all of a sudden.

Why did I think coming to see them would take my mind off all of this?

“I’m fine,” I state, as if she’ll believe me this time.

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