Page 187 of By His Play

Until she told me to leave.

45

EFFIE

Kieran’s final words echo through the air long after the door slams behind him.

A sob threatens to erupt, but I fight it.

He has my key. He could change his mind and come back any moment, and the last thing I want is for him to find me breaking.

I stand by everything I just said to him.

All of it was true.

But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

I don’t think I’ve ever stood up to him like that before.

Well, aside from when I told him to leave me in St. Louis.

Things really have changed.

Once I’m confident that he’s gone, I run to the front door, still battling my raging emotions as I put the safety chain across to stop him from walking back in.

As soon as it’s in place, my legs carry me to the bathroom without conscious thought.

I turn the shower on and then strip down to nothing.

It’s not until I’m standing under the stream of water that I finally break down.

Powerful sobs rock through my body as I cry into my hands.

Unable to hold myself up, my back collides with the cold tiles, and I slide down the wall until my ass hits the floor.

For the longest time, I sit there sobbing for everything I’ve lost.

When I eventually lift my head, my eyes are sore and my throat is rough.

Climbing to my feet, I make a half-assed attempt to clean myself before wrapping my body and hair in towels and shuffling toward my bedroom.

Without bothering to remove the towels, I crawl into bed, numb everywhere apart from my heart. That feels like it’s been in a war and is bleeding out.

My eyes don’t want to open the next morning when my alarm starts blaring.

Blindly, I reach out and turn it off.

But as much as I want to go back to sleep, guilt keeps me from drifting off.

I made myself a promise when I passed the city limit for Chicago, and I don’t want to break that already.

I remain where I am until my alarm goes off again, and this time, I force myself to sit up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed.

I startle when my feet hit the towel I fell asleep in before looking over my shoulder for the other one.

Reaching up, I touch my hair and cringe.

I can only imagine how I look.

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