Page 97 of By His Play

How am I supposed to go out there and face him now?

He’s had his face between my thighs, for fuck’s sake.

Heat surges through me as one specific memory comes back to me.

“Anyone been here before, Luck?”he asked while teasing my ass.

Oh my god.

I scream into the pillow as my confusion over all of this gets to be too much.

I guess he has managed to achieve one thing—the pain I was feeling over losing Grams now isn’t my only concern.

She’s gone; there is nothing I can do about that. I just have to go through the motions of coming to terms with it.

But what happens next between us is anyone’s guess.

Kieran’s heavy footsteps move past my door as he makes his way to the kitchen, but as he slows to check on me, I can’t bring myself to look up at him.

The fear that we’ve made a huge mistake is crippling.

I might be able to survive losing Grams. But losing Kieran…

I give myself another five minutes of wallowing before I force myself to crawl out of bed.

As I stand, the evidence of what we did this morning begins to run down my thigh.

Gross.

Reaching for one of his T-shirts that I’ve stolen over the years, I drag it over my head and then race toward the bathroom to clean up.

The moment I step into the room, my eyes land on the bathtub, and the image of us sitting in it last night hits me hard.

I stumble toward the toilet, and the second I sit down, my head falls into my hands as my regrets grow.

Where the hell do we go from here?

I move in slow motion as I brush my teeth and shower. I even dry my hair in my need to put off walking into the kitchen and seeing him.

This morning, he didn’t show a single sign that he was regretting what he did. Hell, he was there doing it again. Something I am not complaining about. It was hot, just like everything he did last night.

But how hot it was or how connected we felt isn’t the issue.

Eventually, I can’t put off facing him any longer, and once I’m dressed, I reluctantly make my way to the kitchen.

The scent of his breakfast makes my stomach growl loudly. But despite feeling hungry for the first time this week, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to eat it.

“I thought I was going to have to come and drag you out here,” Kieran says the second I step into the room, as if everything is normal.

Risking a look up, I find him standing at the island, sipping on a cup of coffee as if he didn’t eat me out right there for dinner last night.

My cheeks blaze red hot and I avert my gaze fast.

“Take a seat; I’ve been keeping it warm for you.”

Unable to do anything but what I’m told, I move to the stool closest to me and hop up.

Reaching for my mug of coffee, I stare down into it while Kieran plates up our food.

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