Page 76 of Taste of Death

“Your mother sounds like she was lovely.” I kissed his brow. “But what doyouwant? What will make you happiest, Novak?”

A heavy sigh seemed to deflate his whole chest. “I want to let go of the past, to stop giving power to people who don’t exist anymore. I think I’ve wanted that for a long time but didn’t know how. Or just never wanted it badly enough.” His knuckles stroked my cheek. “Not until you.”

“I know it’s not easy. It’s not exactly the same, but since coming to terms with no longer being human, I’ve been feeling a lot of the same resistance. The guilt for going against my upbringing. Disappointing people whose approval I wanted, but they never respected me no matter what I did.”

The realization hit me like a light bulb clicking on. Novak and I were so different, and yet our struggles were so similar. Every word I told him was exactly what I needed to hear for myself.

“Yes.” He breathed the word on a sigh of relief and a warm, lingering kiss. “You understand me exactly, akra. You know what it’s like. Fuck, I think you’re truly the only person that does.”

Our mouths found each other again, giving strength and reassurance that words could not.

“I want you,” Novak said when we parted. “I want a life that’s my own, and I’m ready for it.” He let out a nervous laugh. “It still feels like I’m diving off a cliff, though.”

“I know.” My arms went around his shoulders. “But it’s as simple as making a choice. Choosing one path and leaving another behind.”

His next sigh was weary. “It’s not quite that simple for me. Not with my brother downstairs.”

“Oh, right.” Somehow I’d forgotten about that already. His brother just didn’t hold space in my mind when it was Novak who needed love and appreciation. “What should be done about him?”

Novak swallowed tightly. “I can’t release him. And I can’t bear to keep him down there.”

The unspoken solution felt like a heavy, weighted presence in the room.

“Do you have a way of making it quick? Painless?” If I knew anything about Novak, he would not want his brother to suffer.

He nodded. “I have a silver dagger. One stab to the chest should be enough. I don’t even think they’re capable of feeling pain in that state.” His fingers laced at the small of my back. “I’ve killed a few before, in self-defense. He’s defenseless, but… ” He shook his head. “If there’s anything left of Evin in there, he’s probably been suffering for decades. To put him out of his misery would be a kindness.”

“Do you want me to do it for you?” Maybe it was callous, but I wasn’t at all bothered about stabbing a cannibalistic creature who made Novak suffer in his younger years. If anything, it might be cathartic.

“No, it needs to be me. I have immunity to the disease, you might not. I definitely can’t risk you.” He leaned back, chest heaving with another sigh. “I have to do it. This is how I bury the past and truly move forward.”

“I’ll be there with you.” My hold tightened around his shoulders, bringing him in for another kiss. “You’ll never be without my support.”Or my love.That last part burned in my throat, not ready to be spoken aloud.

“Amy… my akra.” He spoke my name reverently between each kiss, fingers curling into my shirt and holding onto me like I was the only support he needed.

I had never been needed by anyone before, not even Tavia.

“You can do this.” I stroked his hair back, my forehead melded to his. “You’re so strong, so brave. I know you can do it, Novak.”

He huffed wryly. “I think you’re the first person who’s actually believed in me.”

“How could I not? You believed in me, after all.”

His hand came to the side of my face, thumb stroking with gentle reverence next to my mouth before he was repeating my own words back to me like a simple truth. “How could I not?”

Our mouths connected again with more passion and fervor than before. Hunger stoked low in my belly, and determination fired me up. I pressed on Novak’s shoulders and he leaned back only a few inches before meeting the headboard. My hips rolled in his lap, grinding against him to create sensation and friction that had him groaning.

He grabbed my waist, bucking into me as his tongue surged into my mouth. I kissed him back, but removed his hands from my waist, pinning them at his sides.

“What are you doing?” His eyes were dark with lust, canines long with hunger. “I want to touch you, akra.”

“Not right now.”

“Why?”

I brought my legs inside of his, kissing his neck with small nips that didn’t draw any blood. My mouth skimmed over his collarbones and down his chest, following the sparse pale hairs and long, lean muscles that covered his torso. I scooted back as I drew lower, listening to his accelerating heart and ragged breaths. I reached the waistband of his underwear, and only then did I look up at him to answer.

“Because I’m going to let you be utterly selfish before you complete the hardest task of your life.”

---