Page 10 of Fractured Souls

They all stare at me. I squeeze the phone in my hand, feeling myself getting irritated. I can't answer their questions. I wouldn't even know what to say for a believable lie.

This isn't their fault, but part of me feels myself getting angry at them anyways.

"Harley? Did you recently lose your voice? Can you tell us anything?"

Before I can respond to Ryker, Grayson jumps in again. "You don't have to tell us anything. We are just curious. If you ever do want to tell us, you can."

They need to stop. I squeeze the phone harder. My breaths turning into pants. Fuck. Cayden reaches over and pulls the phone from my iron grip. He types on it then hands it back to me. I read it.

I see your rage. They only want to offer help. Sometimes when people hurt us, we turn our own hurt on the wrong people. Don't do that to them. But remember they would drop anything to help you. Even if they don't know you. Trust me. I know. Go calm down. I'll stop Ryker from following you.

I shove the phone back at him harder than I mean to and wince. I haven't felt anger like this before. I'm not even sure who it's aimed at. But I also hate how easily he read me. Can everyone? Does Mother? How will I ever get away if they can read my face so easily?

I turn and take off down the hall at a brisk pace and go back to the bathroom to hide until the bell rings.Great going, Harley. You didn't even last ten minutes outside the bathroom.

The rest of the day goes by slowly but not bad. During study hall, we only have to check in with our teacher, and then we can study anywhere unless told otherwise. Math was hard. I'm going to struggle since I can't ask questions and I'm so far behind.

Grayson was in my math class. He’s tall, I think slightly taller than Ryker. He has longer brown hair that is more of a messy bedhead look but yet still looks good. He dresses differently than Ryker and Cayden. He has on fitted dark blue jeans and a nice black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Who knew I'd find myself attracted to arms? Because wow.

He sat by me but didn't talk. When I got stuck on a problem the teacher was having us do, I was just staring at my paper when Grayson reached over and took my notebook and wrote out how to solve it, explaining in detail. When I looked over at him when he was giving the notebook back, he blushed, shrugged, and went back to his work.

I had to fight off tears for the second time today over another guy.You can withstand beatings without crying but not two insanely attractive guys doing something nice or saying something nice? What's wrong with you?

Gym was just dodgeball and the coach let me watch since it's my first day. Thank god, too, because my body is exhausted from so much today. But I am really worried about it because my body is really weak, and if I’m already struggling this much, how am I going to make it through gym every day?

Besides all of that, I enjoyed being out of that house. It's a good reminder that there is more out there than what I've been given for three years and someday, hopefully, I can get away or possibly get answers for why all of this has been happening.

* * *

When I get back to the house, the door is locked, and no one is home. So I do what they told me and head around back to wait on the back porch. It's October, so it's 50 degrees and I'm wearing ripped jeans and an old hoodie. I'll definitely get cold sitting out here waiting, but there isn't much more I can do. There is an old shed in the corner of the yard that mother calls the doghouse, but it's cold in there too, and there is a big padlock on it; that is the last place I want to be right now.

I once talked back to Mother, testing the waters to see how real her threats were, and she dragged me out to the shed and locked me in it for forty-eight hours. No food, water, toilet, light, nothing. It was miserable, and I never want to experience that again.

I cried and screamed almost the entire time. I felt so hopeless. I really thought she might leave me out there forever.

I shiver at those bad memories, and then I decide fuck them and walk around the house, testing every window, but none of them are unlocked. There might be one open on the second story, but I have no way of getting up there, and even if I did, my body aches right now from moving so much today on top of having bruised ribs and not having done much in three years. I also only get two canned goods a day and yesterday they forgot to give me any, so I'm starving right now. It's not the first time they've forgotten and probably won't be the last. I really need to find a way to get food at school.

I sit on the back patio, the cold cement making me shiver, and pull my knees to my chest. Fighting off the tears that burn the back of my eyes. Fuck crying. I'm sick of feeling like I need to cry. I refuse to, anyways.

I hate this. I know my mom would hate this, too. I have to get out. I have to find a way to escape. I won't survive forever this way. After the first year, I was crying so much and was so incredibly devastated from being beaten all the time and then left alone for hours or days on end. I wanted to die. I could only think there has to be something better than this. I was fourteen at the time and in just one year my life had been flipped upside down and became absolute hell. I didn't understand why they were treating me this way or doing any of this to me. I still don't understand. Only difference now is that I feel a need to do something to live a better life instead of just giving up. I can't let Mother win.

At some point after a year, I stopped asking why, I stopped crying, I stopped begging for mercy. I just laid there and took whatever was dished out. Until one day I thought I couldn't take anymore so I decided that I should end it myself. That memory makes me shiver as goosebumps rise, the thought that I could be dead right now. By my own doing. I never want to think of it again. Obviously, it didn't pan out, and the beating from that day will never leave me. Literally, a lot of my scars are from that day.

I don't know how long I sit out here, but eventually my whole body is shaking from the cold, and I can barely feel my fingers. I get up to start moving around, hoping that helps to warm me up a bit, but from the lack of food, the strain of moving so much today, and the cold, I fall to the ground and everything goes black.

* * *

I jolt awake when I feel ice-cold water hit my face. A scream wrenches its way out of my throat, but as soon as I start to scream, it's cut off by my entire body jolting then shaking uncontrollably while it feels like a million bees are crawling and stinging under my skin. It feels like hours before the feeling finally fades and my body slumps back down on the cement.

My body is freezing cold and shivering. I can hear Mother telling me to get up.

I slowly start to, but everything hurts, so it's not going fast enough for them. The blow to my face comes so quick that I don't even see Mother move. She has a wicked arm and can hit hard. I stumble, but before I can hit the ground fully, Mother grabs my hair and yanks me up so I'm standing in front of her. I feel the blood dripping down my chin from what I am guessing is a split lip.

She sneers, “I should only have to call your name once and you respond immediately. You shouldn't be sleeping anyways, you lazy, no-good piece of shit.”

I try to say I am sorry, but my throat still burns from what she made me drink yesterday and from trying to scream just now. She pulls on my hair harder. “ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING? Should we get the taser again?”

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