Page 45 of Fractured Souls

I stare at him. This guy cannot be serious. He what? Wants me to yell at him? I'm not going to do that! He doesn’t get that I can’t risk him or anyone else turning on me and hurting me again. I wouldn’t survive it again.

I feel myself shutting down again but before I fully can, Atlas stands to his full height and looks down at me. “Don't. Don’t shut down again. You are letting those who have hurt you win. You are not living life anymore. What's the plan, Harley? Just stay in this bed forever? Let yourself slowly wither away? Bri has told me about your mom. How strong she was, how hard she fought to not let anyone else take anything from her. She fought for you, Harley. She battled for you. Don't disappoint her by refusing to do the same.”

Before he can get another word out, I fly out of the bed, my body aching from the movement, but I don't care. I let the pain fuel me.

“Don't you dare!” I scream at him. I start pacing the room, “You have no idea what it's been like. What I've had to see and go through.” I point at him. “You. Don’t. Know,” I seethe.

“You're right, I don't, so why don't you tell me? Why don't you tell any of us so we can help you? Why don't you stop pitying yourself and do something instead of letting those that have hurt you win?” he snaps at me.

Oh my god, who does this guy think he is? I'll admit, I've lost my way. But he has no right to say shit. He doesn’t even know me! And right now, all I want to do is hit him. I want to hurt him because he is hurting me by making these walls come down. I don't want to hurt. I can't hurt like that again. I can't live through it alone. If I let my walls down, I don’t know what will come out. I can’t put Bri through the pain of my story. I can’t even relive it myself. If I truly let my walls down, my emotions and raw heartbreak will kill me.

The next thing I know, he is kneeling on the floor in front of me.When did I end up on the floor?

“I know, Harley. If you really want to, you can hit me. I'll take it. Let me have it.”Oh, I said all that out loud.“Let the pain, the grief, and everything you feel out on me. I can handle it. What I can't handle is you hurting yourself and in turn hurting Bri. She is my family, which makes you my family. Let us help. You aren't doing this alone anymore. We may not know what happened to you, and maybe you can’t believe that people would be on your side, but you didn’t get here for it turn out to be nothing. You fought your way here because deep down, you knew that you could trust Bri.”

I'm already shaking my head before he even finishes talking. “No. I don't. I can't… this isn't… just no. You don't get it. You can't help me. They broke me!” I sob. God, why am I crying? I don’t want to cry anymore. I don’t want any of this. Why can’t he just let me stay in the comfort of my bed where I don’t have to feel these things?

“Harley, they couldn't have broken you if you got away. You got out. You left. You left as a goddamn child and survived on your own. Those are not things a broken girl does. But right now? Right now, you are letting them break you, and they aren't even here. You need to fuel all your emotions into something. Find something that'll make you feel better. Fuel it all there. But at the same time, you have to talk about it.” He stands up. “I'm going to go downstairs now. Come down when you decide to pull your head out of your ass. There isn't much more I can do now. I can help, but you have to get your ass down those stairs and tell me you want it.”

He walks out, slamming the door behind him, and I scream. I scream as loud as my scratchy throat allows me.

His words replay in my brain.

“Stop being pathetic to get their pity.”

“From my perspective, you want the pity.”

“You will hurt Brielle.”

“Don't disappoint her by refusing to do the same.”

“Stop pitying yourself.”

“You are letting them break you, and they aren’t even here.”

“Find something that'll make you feel better.”

Oh, I know just the thing that'll make me feel better, I think as I get up and storm to the door, flinging it open so hard it hits the wall before I go storming down the stairs in search of the one thing that'll make me feel oh so much better. I have always told myself that I would never resort to violence like Tammy did, but right now I feel like I can’t control this rage burning in me.Maybe I’m no better than her.

I find Brielle in the kitchen stirring something in a pot. She looks up when she hears me stomping through, and her eyes go wide with shock before she smiles. “Honey—”

“Where is he?” I grit out, trying not to aim my anger at her. She doesn't deserve it.

She looks confused for a minute before worry comes over her face. “Harley, I just want you to be okay. I'm sorry if he overstepped, I just—”

I shake my head. “Stop. It's not your fault. Just tell me where he is so I can talk to him.”

Before she can answer, a deep voice speaks from behind me. “Right here, Harley. Glad to see you came down. Are you ready to talk?”

I turn around and look at him. He's standing at the entrance to the kitchen from the living room, and Linc is a few feet behind him.

I walk towards him, letting him see the anger in my eyes. “Oh, I'm ready for something,” I sneer. When I get up to him, I slap him as hard as my weak muscles can manage. His head barely turns from the impact. I hear a gasp behind me, but all my focus is on the asshole in front of me. “You know, I should feel bad for hitting someone, especially after everything I've been through, but I really can't feel bad after all the shit you said. You don't know me. You had no right. NONE!”

He smirks at me. Fucking smirks. “I'll make you a deal. Start eating and getting healthier, and when Brielle says it's okay, you can come to the gym, and I'll teach you to spar.” I'm ready to hit him again or hell, maybe kick him in the balls. That should knock him down a peg or two.

But before I can, Linc strolls up and steps in front of me. “Alright, little fighter, let's calm down now. Why don't you come sit and we’ll eat and talk, okay?”

I feel my emotions start to calm down under Linc’s soft gaze. But when I glance over his shoulder towards Atlas and see him still smirking right at me, my anger pulses. Turning sharply, I stomp towards the table as hard as my weakened legs allow. I take a deep breath to try and calm myself down. I drop my head, realizing what a complete ass I’ve been and that they might kick me out or punish me.

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