Page 53 of Fractured Souls

I shake my head but take a step back and keep my mouth shut.

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Blade (Noah)

I watch Cade and Gray leave to head back to the clubhouse when Rage kicks them out so we can talk with Ryker. I fucking hate this. But I don't know what I am supposed to do.

When we knew Ryker was up to something, I really hoped it wouldn't be anything big, but that wasn't the case. I don't even think Ryker understands the danger he put the club in. I look over at him, and he meets my eyes. I don't have any words to say to him. I am disappointed, so I just step back and let Rage handle it. Even as Ry scowls at me, I can see the hurt behind the anger in his eyes.

Fuck. I don't do emotions. I am the enforcer. I take care of people who are threats to my club, my family. But how the hell do I do that when this threatismy family and is damaged in his own ways and I can't fully blame him for how he acts?

“Ryker, you need to understand that what you did was beyond stupid. What if Richard had seen your face? It wouldn't take much for him to connect you to us and then what? They could use any information they have on us from Rage’s father to take us down for things we didn't do. Or if you hadn't gotten out, they would have you and who knows what they would have done then? You risked way too much. I know you want answers on this girl. We are trying, but there isn't a lot we can do right now. You need to get that and find a different outlet and trust us to handle things.

“If you can't trust us then how will you ever be able to be a part of this club? We rely on trust. We have to trust each other to have each other's backs. Always,” Axe says. Our road captain always coming in with the right thing to say.

I see Ryker begin to understand. The boy can hide his emotions very well, but right now, he isn't hiding anything. We can all see his pain, and everything he feels is on his shoulders. I didn't think I could say anything. I thought he needed time with knowing I am disappointed and me not giving him my words, which is something Ryker craves. He wants validation from those in his life because of the shit he's been through. I wanted him to sit here with not hearing a word from me, but I don’t think I can do that now as I watch him hurt.Fucking emotions.

“Ryker.” His head snaps in my direction as I step forward, “You did something stupid, but that doesn't mean we give up on you. But this is getting towards the end. Where you have to figure out your shit and learn to trust us fully or you won't be a part of this club when you turn eighteen. I need you to find a way to pull it together. If you are restless and feel like you have to have that control you need, come to someone you trust and let them help you find control another way. Don't run off. That can't happen again. You got lucky today, but you won't next time.”

Ryker nods. “I get it. I fucked up, and I’m sorry.” He drops his head and clears his throat. “I'll work on it. This club is my family, and I want to be a part of it when I can be. I don’t want to fuck it up for my brothers, either. Can we move past this? Do I really have to stay in here still? I get it. I really do.”

Rage shakes his head. “You're staying. Sorry, kid. I may feel for you, but I am not a pussy. I won't give in that easily. I'll figure shit out so you aren't here too long, but a little time will do you good. There's a bucket for a toilet. The boys will be down later with food.”

Rage nods at the rest of us, and we all file out as Ryker tells us he fucking hates us all.

Sugar chuckles when we get back outside. “That kid… he'll learn and get better, I know it. But boy, sometimes I wonder if he has any brain cells left.”

They all chuckle and walk away. It takes me an extra second to leave. This is my brother. Someone I promised to take care of and protect. Sometimes I feel like I am failing in doing that. We may be hardened from the outside, but inside these walls? We can let it all down and feel whatever we need to feel. It's what it's like having these guys as your family. You never have to go through anything alone, but no one would ever know that we are secretly softies.

ChapterTwenty

Harley

“You’re not trying hard enough, Harls! Push yourself! Come on, Linc can take a hit, so hit him!”

I slam my gloved hand into Linc’s side as hard as I can. He barely stumbles back a half step. I feel like screaming; this is so frustrating. If Atlas doesn't shut up soon, I'm going to turn my punches on him.

“Harley! Get with it! Stop fucking around and fight him!”

That's it! I spin around and head towards the edge of the mats where Atlas is standing yelling out his fucking commands at me. “If you want me to fight so goddamn bad, get in yourself! Why stay out there, Atlas? Huh?”

He gives me a pointed look. He knows what I'm doing. Antagonizing him doesn't work. I've been trying for weeks now.

I sigh and try again, “You're pissing me off, so get in here with me. Give Linc a break.”

“Hey! I'm doing just fine. I don't need a break, Harley! Don't make me seem weak!” Linc taunts.

I turn around and glower at him. “I don't know, Dad, you look pretty wiped out to me.” I tease back. A week ago, we were in the store and someone made a comment about him being my dad and the poor man looked fucking horrified. I don't think I ever laughed as hard as I did that day.

“Not fucking funny,” he grumbles and walks towards the benches on the far wall as other people in the gym laugh at him.

“Alright, enough fucking around. Back to the center, Harley. You want a fight? I'll give you one.”

He wraps his hands and puts his own gloves on and meets me in the center of the mats. The big mats people can box/spar on are in the middle of the gym. At first, I could only do it if no one else was in the gym, but it's been three weeks now and I'm getting more confident being around other people. But I still don’t like talking to anyone else.

Going in public at first really fucking sucked. I’ve had my scar for three years, almost four, but other people haven’t seen it. So while I forget it's there sometimes, they don't. Their stares bothered me at first, but I'm getting used to it, and Bri, Linc, and Atlas help me through it when it bugs me or I start to have a panic attack.

Some days are worse than others. Unfortunately, the worse days are coming more often than the good over the last week. I don't know what it is, but something is just bothering me. It's like constant bugs crawling under my skin.

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