Page 57 of Fractured Souls

She shudders and takes a few deep breaths. I wait patiently for her to be ready to keep going.

"The new guys who wanted to be prospects had to fight, and whoever won the fight got to have me as a prize. Most of the guys looked disgusted. Gabriel was there. He whispered to me that it would be okay. He promised he would win, and he’d find a way to get me out of it or be as gentle as possible. When he was dating Tam, he was always nice to me. I had that stupid crush on him, but he was in love with my sister. Never fully seeing the evil side of her.”

I grab her hand when I see that she is pushing her nails into her palm, causing crescent moon-shaped marks to form, and hold it in my own.

She exhales. “He had no idea that I had already been brutalized. By his own father, by my father, by other older members. Shortly after the fights started, I was blindfolded. It didn't come off until I was home that night, so I have no idea who got me. I found out I was pregnant not long after. I know it was from the young one that was most recent because he didn't wrap up. All the old members did. Always. I knew when I saw that test turn positive that I needed to get away. I would do anything for my baby. So I started going through things at home and finding any cash or anything I might need to get away. They didn’t make me go back to the club after that. Apparently, I had paid for Tam’s mistakes.”

She sighs heavily, all of this stuff weighing her down. She looks me in the eyes, and I can see all her pain. I have my own tears running down my face, but I don't say anything, letting her just get it all out, knowing sometimes it's easier to just spit it all out.

“He's not my dad.”

I blink at her. “Sorry, what?”

She lets out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, that was my thought, too. I found my birth certificate. He isn’t my dad. You have no idea how I felt a sick sort of relief knowing he wasn't my dad. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It doesn't change anything, but it’s still good to know he isn’t my dad."

"Holy crap. I can't believe he isn't your dad. I mean, I'm beyond thankful he isn't. Not that it makes things any better," I say.

"Yeah, it doesn't make it better. But it's nice to know the man who I thought was my father, David, who raised me and raped me for years isn't biologically related to me. It's a relief."

"So do you know who your actual dad is?" I ask.

"I tried to find him." She takes a shaky breath. "He's dead. There's one member of the Sons of Silence. His roadname is Sugar. I found out that we have the same dad. He's been a patched member since he was eighteen. He's twenty-five now. I wanted to talk to him, but I was too scared. His dad, or I guess our dad, was murdered about seventeen years ago. I couldn't find any more information on him, but the timing… well, it seems suspicious. I think my mom cheated and got pregnant with me and if I had to guess, David killed him.” She lets out another humorless laugh. “Knowing him, he probably killed my real father in front of my mother as some sort of sick punishment.”

She sighs and wipes the tears off her face.

"Anyways, while I was looking for my biological dad, I ran into Gabriel, who was prospecting. He looked sad and down. We both needed to get away, so he told me he'd take me away for a few days. I was too scared to ask if he was the one who, well, you know or not. But I just… I trusted him for some reason. So we left on the back of his Harley for a weekend of riding, laughing, and talking.

“It was the best weekend I had in my entire life… He admitted that it was him who won the fights. We both cried. He told me he was sorry and explained to me why it happened."

"Lil, he still raped you. Him being upset about it after doesn't change the fact that he made that choice. He hurt you."

She sighs, "It wasn't like that. There were other things going on. He didn't want to—"

"But he did! He raped you. Why are you making what he did okay? Does that mean it's okay what all the other men did to you?"

"No! Of course not. But… Ugh, can we just not talk about this right now? Let me finish getting everything out because I just want to get it over with."

I take a breath, trying to calm myself. I know I need to let her finish, but what she is saying is worrying me about where her head is at. "Sure, but Lil we aren't done talking about this. You're holding onto something with him that you need to let go of."

She nods, but I don't think she believes me. Which scares me.

"When we got back, things were bad. I watched as Gabe's dad beat him. Telling him what a pussy he was for catering to some whore.” She sneers at the word.

“Then Gabe's dad, Killer, turned on me. He told me how the fights didn't go down. Gabe paid everyone off so he could have me and he's been telling others about my hot, tight snatch," she spits. "I was so angry. I couldn't believe I let my heart run away for a stupid childhood crush. He was in love with my sister. I should've known better. My dad, David, well the man who raised me, was so angry he started strangling me.

“I was terrified. Eventually Killer pulled him off before I passed out. I took off and ran home. I knew then was the time I had to get out of there. I was so glad I didn’t tell Gabe I was pregnant. I didn’t want anyone to know."

"Wait, if he really said and did that shit, why the hell are you protecting Gabe with me? He's a piece of garbage who deserves to go to hell!"

Lil glares at me. "Either shut up and let me finish or we can stop now. I'm sorry but don't talk about Gabe that way. You don't have the whole story."

I stare at her stunned by the change from the broken-down girl to this protective one. Wow, okay. Maybe she's sick and this is some kind of twisted Stockholm thing.

"Okay, continue," I sigh, crossing my arms.

"Tam was home when I got back to the house. She was talking to Richard and telling him how Killer was bringing Tam and Richard in to work with him. I heard her telling him about Gabe and I taking off but someone else had followed us and saw everything and recorded everything we talked about all weekend… including when he kissed me one of the days. What happened when we came back was a setup. Gabe didn't pay off anyone. He won fair and square and tried to be gentle with me without letting on to others that he was trying to protect me. He never lied to me over the weekend. Everything he said was true."

I watch as she wipes more tears from her eyes aggressively like she's tired of crying.

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