Page 59 of Fractured Souls

Ryan is the other guy who runs the gym with Atlas and Linc. They've all been friends for years and brought me into their fold when I met Linc. I trust them with my life. So I trust them to take care of Harley with everything she is dealing with. I just really hope that I don't regret how I handled things later on.

There are so many unknowns with everything. We can’t find answers on anything. Even though Harley won’t tell us what happened during the last three years, we know it involves Tammy. The guys have tried to look into things, but Harley just doesn't exist besides when she went to be with Tammy. It makes no sense, and we have no way of getting answers.

I feel helpless and clueless and have no idea what to do besides try and be here for Harley.

* * *

Harley

Rage. Rage like I have never felt before is running through my veins. It feels like my blood is boiling. I've kept my face blank while Bri told me everything. I know that wasn't easy for her. But the thing is, I can't let this go. I know that I am going to hurt Bri by looking into everything and getting revenge. I know that. But I have to, and I really hope someday she sees that and doesn't hate me forever.

All I know is that right now, my brain is a fucking mess, and I need to spar. I feel my thoughts tumbling. I want revenge, I know that for sure. But how am I supposed to do that if I can't keep my mind together? So instead of dealing with it, I am going to spar until my muscles hurt so bad all I can think about is the pain.

I get out of the shower, get dressed, and head downstairs. Atlas is waiting at the bottom, and there is no sign of Bri. “Where is Bri?”

“She's with Linc calming down. She's worried about you, kid. I'm only doing this because I have a feeling you are like me and need to spar in order to break down your walls. Let's go.” He walks to the front door and out to his truck, leaving me to quickly gather what I need and run after him. Asshole.

We soon reach the gym, and Atlas throws hand wraps at me. I quickly wrap my hands and watch as Ryan, the other owner, comes out, and Atlas says something to him too quiet for me to hear. Ryan nods and walks off to the benches against the wall, then sits down.

I scowl at him but don't say anything. We don’t need a fucking babysitter.

Atlas moves to grab the boxing gloves, but before he can, I say, “No.”

“No?” He quirks a brow.

I shake my head. “Hand to hand. Please. I need it.”

Atlas sighs and glances at Ryan.

I grit my teeth. “Hey! Don't do that. Don't go looking at Ryan and having silent conversations without me. If you don't want to help me, I'll find a different gym to go to!” I yell, not meaning to, but I can't seem to control my feelings right now.

Atlas stalks towards me, towering over me. “Listen here, kid, you will NOT go to another gym. We will do this here. My way. You are not the boss. I am. You want hand to hand? Fucking fine. But I will not be pulling any stops for you. So you better bring your all and stay fucking focused or you’ll be going home with bruises that you'll have to explain to Brielle.”

I nod and walk to the center. “Fine, let’s go.”

We get ready, and Ryan tells us when to start. At first, it's fine, and we go back and forth.

I'm getting in the groove. That is, until Atlas gets a hard jab at my ribs. Something about it sets me off. It's like it triggers me. I freeze for a second before I throw a hit back as hard as I can. My mind is racing with everything Brielle told me today. Part of me wants to lock it down so tightly that I never think of it. But the bigger part of me is enraged and can’t let any of it go.

How could I think of my dad as some knight in shining armor? Someone who I was hoping would want me and protect me? I am only alive because of a vile thing he did. Why did mom not tell me? Or at least tell me he was a bad man? I don’t understand.

Before my thoughts can keep spiraling out of control, Atlas clocks me on the head and sends me to the ground.

“Get up! Get your shit together, Harley, you wanted this! So fucking do it! Stop getting distracted!” he snaps at me.

I stand but wobble a little, shaking myself out of it and readying myself to keep going.

“What? Have you had enough? Come on, Harley! What the fuck is the problem?” He throws his arms out wide.

I narrow my eyes at him, keeping my fists up, ready to strike. I know what he's doing and unfortunately, it's working. My hands drop. I break.

"I can't do it anymore!” I scream. “I can't do what I need to do if I'm constantly fighting my own mind!"

"Then stop being a prisoner to your own thoughts. Stop letting them keep you prisoner in your own mind, Harley! You got out. You did that. You broke free. Fight. Scream. Let it out. Don’t let everything Brielle told you today eat at you. You can't change the past. You can only make your future better, but you have to truly want it to be better. No one can make you."

I scream. I scream so hard my throat aches and I know I won't be able to talk tomorrow. It’s raspy sounding and broken. Just like me. My soul. Broken, destroyed. I don’t want to be better in the ways he says. I want to be stronger and tougher.

I want revenge. Onhim.For my mom. For me.

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