Page 72 of Fractured Souls

“Don't do that. Don't try to hide it or shove it all so far down you feel nothing,” Bri chides, her voice holding more venom than I think I've ever heard from her.

“I am so sick and tired of panicking and crying. I want to move on and not let her get to me. I feel like she wins every time I let her in. The things she used to say… Bri, I really started to believe her. I have no idea why she put me in school, but I am glad she did, because it reopened my eyes to how people should treat others. I met some people at that school in the short time I was there. They reminded me I was worth more than what I was getting, and they didn't even know what was going on and it was the smallest things. Three boys, one girl.

“They showed me in just a few weeks how I deserve respect and peace of mind. It's what helped me get the strength to even think about getting out there and have the guts to just go and hopefully make it out alive because I had no idea whether or not you were real. It was beyond terrifying. But I did it because I couldn't let her win, yet here I am, months later, letting her win anyways. It's like her voice is engraved in my mind and will never leave.”

Bri says nothing. We sit in silence for a while, and I really believe she is quiet because she knows I am right. Tammy will always win.

“You could not be more wrong.” I startle, not having expected her to say anything, let alone that. “Yes, maybe you were able to pull yourself together enough to get out based on those kids at the school. But you still did it. You had to do it yourself. They couldn't do it for you. That shows tremendous strength, Harley. You were running away from your own personal hell having no idea if you were going to walk into another one or not. I could not have done that, and I mean that.” She looks me in the eyes, “I mean it. I couldn't. I barely survived getting out from under my stepmom, and when I did get out on my own, I was struggling. Your mom saved me just as much as I saved her. I was drowning, and she gave me something to focus on.”

She takes a deep breath and wipes away some stray tears.

“But Harley, things don't go away overnight. I still have nightmares. I still have moments where I am beyond terrified. It takes a lot of work to get to a spot where things don't bother you as much or you have less panic attacks. But they don't truly go away. I wish I could tell you they did, but they don't. But I can tell you they get better. It hurts less, you notice less panic attacks, you notice their words dull in your mind. You just can't give up. If you give up, then they win. But every day that you get up, you fight, you train, you learn, you breathe, you smile, or you even cry, you are winning.” She grabs my hand in hers. “You. Are. Winning.”

I take a deep breath, taking in her words. Letting the tears fall and knowing that Bri will hold me up as long as I need her to until I can do it on my own. Linc comes up behind us, wrapping us both up in a hug and making me chuckle. I swear it's his favorite thing to do.

He whispers to Bri, but I am close enough I hear, “You didn't tell us you still had nightmares.”

She tenses, so I get up and walk down to the beach, giving them a moment alone and sitting in the sand so I can chat with my mom. I've come to love the moments I can come down here, run my toes through the sand, and talk to her.

I come out of my thoughts as the taxi pulls up, I take a deep breath then walk to it. I climb in and give him the address I found online for the club where I believe my dad lives. The taxi starts moving, and I wipe a lone tear off my cheek.

This is you taking back your power. This is you becoming the devil so no one else can ever be a devil in your story again.I text Bri. Even though I left her a letter, I just want her to know I really am sorry.

I love you so much, Brielle. You are the aunt I wish I could have had. I hope you know how truly sorry I am.

I power off my phone, knowing she'll call the guys and everyone will be texting and calling once they read my letter. I have to stay focused.

When we arrive, there is a large gate with a small little gate house to the left. I see someone in it, but he appears to be sleeping, so I ask the driver to pull up farther past it and I jump out. Looking around at the fence, I notice that it's too tall for me to climb, but I know I could climb the gate. I just have to hope the guy in the gate house doesn't wake up.

I slowly make my way up to the gate, checking on the guy again, then I quickly climb it and jump off to the other side, landing on my feet. I start down the long road, staying to the side. I don't care if they know I am here, or if they know who I am, but I want to get in and make sure I don’t screw myself and lose my chance to take him out.

As I walk down the road, I soon come to a warehouse-looking building. It's huge. At least three stories, four if they have a basement. There are large doors towards the left, which I am assuming are the main doors. I steel my spine, preparing myself for any outcome, and open the door slowly.

My heart is pounding in my chest. This is terrifying, but I have to do this. I have to win and take my power back. Bri may be okay to just live her own life and feel that that's winning, but I need payback. I need them to see me as the devil.

There are a bunch of bikers in here, and they are pretty loud. I get pissed at all these people looking happy and do something even more reckless: I slam the door into the wall, and it gets everyone's eyes on me.

I walk in and immediately there are catcalls and whistles. I ignore them, scanning the room. Someone yells for Blade, and a guy who looks familiar comes around the corner from the far side of the room. He sees me, and his eyes go wide. It takes me a minute, but I recognize him from the day I left when I got on the bus.

In the next ten seconds, three guys come barreling into the room from a hall straight across the room from me. I recognize one of them as Sugar from his picture online. The next guy I don't think I recognize, but the third guy, I do.

I quickly yank my gun out from the back of my pants and aim it right athim.

Gabriel St. James.

My dad.

The man in my fantasies who saves the day.

My mom's rapist.

The man who caused her so much pain.

The man who more than likely is responsible for her death.

I hear yelling around me, but all my focus is onhim.He raises his hands and starts talking, “Harley, I need you to put the gun down. Let's talk, okay?”

I sneer at his calm voice. He goes to take one step towards me, and that's when I’ve had enough. I know without a doubt that as soon as I pull this trigger, I will die too. I have one shot. I have to get it right. I square my shoulders, making sure my stance is just how Ryan taught me. I black out everything else around me except for my target. I flick the safety off and put my finger on the trigger.

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