Chapter Ten
Grayson
WhatamIdoing?This is so bad. Why did I do this? She’s probably going to think I am lame or a nerd. Not only that, but I am holding her hand.
Her soft, slightly chilly hand. Her fingers are long and slim, and it felt like a match made in heaven when her fingers laced with mine. I inwardly curse,That’s weird. Stop thinking like that, Grayson.
I lead her towards the tech room, hoping that I am not about to embarrass myself. Luckily, I know Nerds isn’t in here for once, so it’ll just be us. And Ry, because I know he isn’t going to leave her side anytime soon. When we get to the door, I open it and glance at Harley, who is looking around with curious eyes.
“What is this?” she questions as we step into the room, with Ry following us and closing the door behind him.
“This is the tech room. It is mostly Nerds’s office, but I use it a lot too. I help Nerds a lot.” I run the hand that isn’t holding Harley’s over the back of my neck.
Harley tilts her head and studies me for a second. “Why did you want to bring me in here?”
My mouth dries, and I honestly have no idea what to say. I wanted to help her feel better, and part of me thinks that being busy and understanding things that are happening or just helping would help her like it does me, but I have no idea how to voice that.
A loud chuckle comes from Ry as he drops into one of the extra desk chairs in the middle of the room. “He wants to show you what he’s good at.” He gestures towards the screens. “Researching, learning, trying to solve mysteries.” He points a finger at Harley with a wide grin on his face. “Which you are.”
Harley scrunches up her nose as she stares at Ry. “There is nothing interesting or mysterious about me,” she says quietly.
“I don’t think that’s true,” I argue. I slowly release her hand, and Harley startles slightly, glancing down with an odd look on her face. Like she forgot she was still holding my hand.
I take a seat in Nerds’s usual chair and pull out the one next to it I use for Harley to sit. She cautiously does so and looks at all the monitors as I wake them up. The sound of wheels rolling on the hardwood makes me glance back as Ry rolls the chair he is in towards us so he’s sitting behind us, leaning forward to brace his arms on each of our chairs. “So, what’s the plan, Gray?”
I take a deep breath and then look at Harley, who is already focused on me. “Sometimes, it helps me to stay busy, or to feel like I am helping. After you ran, we looked for you and I helped—”
“Why?” Harley blurts, a blush rising to her cheeks.
My brows scrunch. “Why did we look for you?” She nods, and I hesitate, “I mean, we knew something was going on when we met you at the school, and I don’t know. I guess we wanted to help,” I say with a shrug.
Ryker scoffs, “We aren’t doing half-truths here, Gray. I know you mean well, but let’s not do that.” He turns Harley’s chair, so his knees bracket hers. She tenses but almost immediately relaxes. “We felt a pull to you. A connection. I know you felt it too, little flame. Even if it was confusing. Even if it still is. We saw someone who we could relate to. Whatever you were going through then— well we’ve all been through shit that fucked us up too.
“I saw you. Beneath everything, I saw you then. I still see you now. Grayson has never shown an interest in someone besides my brothers and I. And Cade, well, he doesn’t speak normally, but he has spoken more since we met you than he has in many years.”
Harley opens her mouth and shuts it, biting her lower lip as she searches Ryker’s face for something. Then she glances at me and does the same thing before speaking.
“I did… feel something. It was part of the reason I was able to find the strength to leave. That last weekend, the one before I ran, was the worst in a really long time.” She takes a shuddering breath and pushes her fingers into her thighs, hard. “But coming to school, meeting you guys, it gave me strength again that I had long thought to be lost. It was my reminder that life isn’t supposed to be so bad, and I shouldn’t be treated how I was being treated.”
The door to the room opens quietly, but Harley’s eyes immediately jump to it and watch as Cade walks in and shuts it behind him. Ryker grins but tries to hide it.
Without looking away from Cade, she continues, “I still remember that day at school when you told me you saw my rage. At first, I was angry that I could be read so easily, but then as time went on, I realized it was because you could just seeme. I don’t even know when I came to that realization, but it’s all kind of hitting me now. You all see me just as I am. As much as it terrifies me, it also…”
She trails off as if she isn’t sure of the words she wants to say. Ryker finishes, “It lights your flame. You found your flame when you were gone. That fire inside of you. You found it and forced it to the surface, but you’ve never lit it.”
Harley grimaces. “I don’t think I know how to. When you talk of flames, it feels like I can find it and light it, but then it burns out quicker than I can stop it. The pain, the memories, the nightma—”
She clamps her mouth shut and shakes her head.
“You have nightmares? About… about what happened when you lived with Tammy?” I ask hesitantly.
Harley averts her gaze with a nod. “It’s not a big deal,” she mumbles.
Ryker opens his mouth, but I place my hand on his shoulder and shake my head when he glances at me. We can’t push her, and Ryker should understand that better than most. She doesn’t know or trust us enough for us to be pushing her.
Cade stands up straight from where he was leaning against the wall and walks towards us. Pausing behind Ry’s chair, he looks down at Harley.
“Is that what that is from?” he questions, pointing to the scar on her face.