He smiles back at me, and I get trapped in his eyes, which hold so much tenderness—but behind it is unspoken pain. Pain and heartache that I understand more than he’ll ever know.
Our moment is broken by a door slamming somewhere else that echoes around us and brings us out of the bubble we seemed to be in. My heart, that had started pounding, now slows as we break eye contact.
Part of me is relieved because it was almost overwhelming, the intensity of all this, but the other part of me wants to drag him away and stay locked in our own little bubble forever.
Nerds comes bursting out from the hallway that has the offices, his wide eyes frantically scanning the room until he locks them on Gabriel, who immediately walks towards him. After a few whispered words, Gabriel yells, “Church now!” and almost everyone around me gets up and walks towards the other hallway that is by the backdoor.
I look around as the room clears, leaving just a guy who is standing behind the bar and Grayson, Cayden, and Ryker with me.
“What’s church?” I ask, hardly imagining them just happening to have some religious thing going on around here.
Ryker chuckles. “Church is a meeting that all members have to attend. Usually, it is scheduled ahead of time. All members go, and they discuss everything related to the club. But sometimes, on rare occasions, Rage will call an emergency church when there is something that is urgent. Like now, apparently.”
“Oh.” I say. So, not religious then. I glance back towards the hall before focusing on the guys again. “Are you okay?” I ask Grayson.
He nods hesitantly. “Yeah—” He clears his throat. “Yeah. My brother, he passed away six years ago, and his death anniversary is coming up soon, so I think my mind is just messing with me.”
I can understand that. Sometimes I would have dreams about my mom and wake up, not realizing it was just a dream. It hurts more than anything else.
“What brought on the panic attack?” Ryker asks. His voice holds such gentleness that it takes my breath away.
It feels like every second I am around here, I see more and more of how much they all truly care for each other. I have so much darkness inside me that I don’t think I could ever have what they all seem to share with one another.
“I looked outside when we were walking by, and someone reminded me of him. It was like seeing the spitting image of my brother but adding what looked like ten years onto his age.” Grayson shrugs.
“Oh, one of the guys?” At this, he nods. “Didn’t you meet them? They’ve been here for a while.”
Grayson shakes his head. “No, we really didn’t. We saw the one, Atlas, at Rage’s house a few times. But I think that’s it.” He furrows his brows.
Ryker nods in agreement. “Yep. We never really got to meet them properly. Maybe when they come back, things will be calmer, and we can meet the people that clearly care and love you a lot.”
I smile softly, realizing that list of people might be growing. “Yeah, maybe.”
“Well, I am fucking starving. We should eat.” Ryker spins and points at Cayden, who is standing slightly farther back behind us. “You too, caveman. No running off. Let’s go.”
Cayden grunts but follows all of us towards the kitchen. He is silent but almost seems like out of everyone he would probably understand me the best. Even though I kind of feel hesitant to be near him. He has this demeanor about him… this coldness. Like he seems calculated and not someone who reallydoesemotions.
It doesn’t help that he is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Right along with Ryker and Grayson.
They all could be some kind of sexy models, I swear. They are tall and handsome, and although I haven’t seen Cayden smile yet, I can guess that his would give me goosebumps just like the rest of theirs do.
Ryker makes me sit down at the island with a wink as he walks off into their huge walk-in pantry. Watching them interact with one another and being in their presence is calming.
“Ry, please get out of there. I will just throw together sandwiches since it’s almost lunchtime,” Grayson pleads with Ry, urging him out of the pantry.
“I can help!” he calls from inside as something bangs and falls to the floor in there.
Cayden sighs and pulls out the stool next to me, taking a seat. I glance at him, and when he looks at me, his eyes are filled with curiosity and deep longing. I frown as I stare at him, and he quickly looks away, pulling out his phone to look at instead.
“Ry! Out now!” Grayson demands. Ryker comes walking out of the pantry and pulls his hands up, feigning innocence.
He walks over and plops down on my other side, so I am now sitting sandwiched between Ryker and Cayden. My back straightens, and my hands twitch, wanting to check my hair to make sure it is still fully in its ponytail. With how much hair I have, sometimes it falls out throughout the day, or I get annoying ass baby hairs flying all over my face and sticking up everywhere.
I clear my throat as I watch Grayson move around the kitchen. “Do you want any help? I’m not great in the kitchen, but if you tell me what to do, I can try to figure it out,” I offer.
Grayson flashes me a huge grin over his shoulder, and it almost knocks all the air out of my lungs. “That’s okay. It’ll be quick.”
Itisquick. Within a few minutes, we are all sitting at the island eating the best sandwiches I’ve ever had.