Page 44 of Healing Souls

“Are you alright?”

The question is asked, but I don’t really register who asked it, and then I realize I have been staring at my empty plate.

Do I dare tell them I can eat a lot of food?

No. I look up to find three sets of intense eyes on me. My face heats, and I have no control over how red I probably look right now.Fucking pale skin.

“Are you alright?”Grayson.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I respond quickly with a small smile.

“Your leg is shaking pretty bad. Ryker and I get like that when we need to move or burn off energy,” Cayden says, pointing at my leg.

I flush even further, if that’s at all possible. “Oh. Well, I usually run or sometimes go to the gym because Linc, Atlas, and Ryan own a gym. But it’s been a few days now.”

“Well, you did get shot. So doing a lot is probably a bad idea with the stitches. And we can’t go outside to run right now, anyway. But we do have a gym. You could walk slowly and just see how you feel and if it helps at all?” Ryker shrugs.

That sounds better than doing nothing because I know this energy in me is just going to keep building up. Especially with so much on my mind, I need to run again. I will have to ask Doc when I can start more activity and then figure out how to run outside. So I can be fully alone.

For now, I agree to the gym, and we clean up quickly before heading out of the kitchen to the same hallway I saw all the members going to earlier when Gabriel called church.

“So the gym and the room they have Church in are downstairs. But the room is completely soundproof, so we can’t hear anything, and we can be loud if we want.” Ry grins. “I like music playing loud when I work out.”

Downstairs.It’s okay. It’s not the same.

We soon reach the end of the hall where it opens up and there is a staircase going down. White walls and hardwood on the stairs, but my mind can’t see that. All it sees is darkness. Cracked concrete steps. Old, cracking walls. Stingy, musty, dirty smell.

Deep breath. You aren’t there anymore. Not the same.I blink and watch Grayson and Ryker jog down the stairs quickly. I take one step down and find myself drowning in memory after memory. It feels like a flash flood.

…“This is your new room. Enjoy it.” Tammy smiles creepily at me. She opens a creaky wooden door, the only light is what’s shining from the hallway we stand in. Before my eyes can try to adjust to the darkness, she shoves me forward, causing me to stumble, almost falling down the stairs. “Get down there!” I take a few hesitant steps and then the door is slammed. Plunging me into darkness…

…“Get downstairs! I am tired of seeing your pathetic face,” Mother sneers. I don’t even know how many months it’s been now, but my body is tired. My brain can no longer comprehend why this is happening. Is this normal? I want my mom—my real mom so I can ask her why this is happening to me and why her sister is this way. I walk down the stairs, and the door slams shut behind me, locking me in. Tears stream down my cheeks as I crumble to the floor, my body shaking and aching from the beating it took…

…This is the longest they’ve left me down here with nothing. It has to have been at least two days, if not three. I want to scream, but I know that would get me nowhere. She put the chain on me the last time she was down here after I tried to end it all and took anything I could potentially use to hurt myself out of the basement. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror now unless I see myself when I go upstairs to clean. Why is this happening? I want out. I want to scream, let me out…

“Come on, breathe baby girl, breathe,” a voice breaks me out of the darkness.

My lungs burn as I take a deep breath and gasp, my eyes popping open—when did I close them?—to find Cayden’s face right in front of mine. We are nose to nose. I tense, but as a soothing hand rubs down my back, I find myself relaxing again.

“Take another deep breath, Harley,” Cayden rumbles.

I inhale, hold, exhale. My surroundings become more clear, and I realize I am sitting on Cayden’s lap. We are in the hallway, slightly away from the staircase. His arms are wrapped around me, locking my arms at my sides.

“Why—” I clear my throat that feels dry and scratchy.

“Water,” Cayden grunts. I turn my head and see Grayson stand up and take off down the hall towards the kitchen. No one else is around us.Where is Ryker?

“Why?” I croak.

“You were fighting me, baby girl. I didn’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I–I’m sorry.” A few tears leak free, but I can’t wipe them away with my arms still pinned. Somehow, it doesn’t feel restraining, it feels… safe.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs softly as his hands run up and down my back again, causing tingles to erupt on my skin from just his touch through my shirt.

Something else registers as I stare at his eyes. “Baby girl?” I ask quietly, my brows furrowing.

Cayden doesn’t say anything, he just stares right back at me. His blue and gold eyes blaze with something I have never seen directed at me before. It doesn’t scare me; rather, it lights my skin on fire. The way he looks at me with such deep intensity, it brings new feelings to the surface that I haven’t ever felt before.

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