Page 60 of Healing Souls

I quickly get some food before following them outside to one of the tables that sits on the back patio area overlooking the property, including Gabriel’s house.

“How are you doing?” Presley asks, settling into a chair.

“I’m good,” the automatic response tumbles out from my lips.

Raven lets out a small chuckle and sets her bowl down, leveling with me a look that tells me she doesn’t believe a word I say. “There is no need to bullshit us. Despite what you may think or hell, have heard, I don’t fucking know, we are our own people. We do what we want. We’re asking because being surrounded by a bunch of men can be overwhelming. And you have been through shit that we both can relate to. So, talk to us.”

“If you want to,” Presley tacks on, shooting Raven a glare.

Raven shrugs but keeps her eyes on mine. I look between them as they relax and start eating like nothing is important right now.

Staring down at my bowl, I don’t move. My mind is pounding with questions. No matter how hard I bite my tongue, they don’t stay in. I need to know. My stomach knots as I think over the possible answers.

“Why would you want to be here? Are you being forced?” I ask.

Raven tilts her head, her brows furrowing. “Why do you think we are being forced?”

“I know what happened to my mom in this club. I know that a club killed her, and it could’ve been this one. It could’ve been some of the people walking around here for all I know.” My voice, which had started off terrified and quiet, slowly rises with my anger.

How could they want to be around these people? Why am I letting myself be fooled to believe that they are good people? They aren’t.

I can’t trust anyone here. Why do I keep letting myself think I can? I feel like I’m on a lifeboat stuck in the middle of the ocean with no direction and random storms rocking me out of nowhere.

Presley’s face twists in sympathy. “Oh, sweetie, we don’t have all of the details of what happened to your mom, but that was before you were born, right?” I nod my head at her. “That would have been almost seventeen years ago. Things have changed so much since then. This isn’t the same club. It isn’t being run the same way.

“I don’t know everything that went on back then but from what I do know, it was really bad, and I promise you nothing like that happens now. Rage has made sure of that. These people, they saved me. They became my family. I wouldn’t bring my son around them if I didn’t trust them.” She gives me a soft smile.

“You have a son?”

She nods, her eyes showing her love for him as she thinks about him. “Yes. He turns two soon. He is with his grandma today, so we’re having a girls day. But he does usually come here often with me.”

“Harley,” Raven says, drawing my eyes to hers at her stern tone. “Let me tell you something. And I need you to listen and then think long and hard before you do anything, get me?”

I nod slowly, and she continues.

“Rage is like a big brother to both of us. He has been in my life for almost five years and Pres’s life for almost three. We would both trust him with our lives, the lives of our partners, and Presley would trust him with her son.” She takes a deep breath and leans forward, locking eyes with me. “You are so young. You have been through things no one your age should have to deal with, and I don’t even know everything.

“But before you go plotting whatever is going on in that head of yours, talk. Talk to Rage. At least hear him out before you do anything.”

“You don’t know what’s going on inside my head,” I retort, staring back at my food.

She smirks. “I do. You almost killed your own father. You get that, right? You almost took his life. He’d be dead. Six feet under. Do you have any idea what it’s like to take a life?”

I shake my head as my leg bounces.

“Taking a life is handing your soul to the devil. You don’t get it back. It is gone forever. Now, there are ways to still feel redeemable. Ways to not let it eat you alive. That is, by knowing you killed someone who deserved to never breathe again. But can you honestly say, without any hesitation, that Rage, Gabriel, your father, doesn’t deserve to breathe? That this world would be better off without him?”

My fists clench in my lap. The need to scream at her that I have been dealing with devils for years is strong, but I bite my tongue.

Thinking over everything she said, I can’t say that he deserves to die right now. But how is that fair? After what he did? He’s not redeemable. He shouldn’t get to just live a happy life while my mom suffered, and he was part of that suffering—but yet he has suffered too.

No, heissuffering. None of this is fair. Not for anyone.

Clearing my throat, I stand. “Thank you for lunch.”

Stepping away from the table, I rush away from them, hearing Presley whisper behind me, “That was too far, Raven! That isn’t going to help.”

Right before the door heading back inside shuts, I hear Raven respond, “It’s what she needed.”

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