A smile lights up his now tear-stained face. “Okay, we can do that. You can stay in the room at the club or here in the house. Or both. Either one is fine,” he rambles.
I reach forward and take his hands in my own, giving them a small squeeze. His eyes connect with mine, and he squeezes my hands back and gives me a beaming smile. Family. This is what family feels like.
Flashes of my mom pop into my head. Her smile, her hugs, the way she loved me unconditionally. She showed me endless compassion and love.
When I learned about everything she had been through, I couldn’t imagine how she could still have so much compassion and love inside her. How her smiles seemed so real and free.
She didn’t deserve what happened to her. But did Gabriel?
I don’t have every detail, and I’m not sure I want them all. But can I move on and let go of that part of my mom’s past? Would she be okay with that?
I look down at where our hands are touching and can’t help but wonder if my mom is disappointed or not.
Pulling my hands away, I look back up at Gabriel. “I’m really tired, I think I just want to head to bed. Maybe we can have dinner a different night?” My voice cracks as I speak. I need to get out of here before I break down in front of him.
He nods as his face falls, a frown forming as he opens his mouth to speak, but I jump up and leave before he can say anything else. Getting outside, I head back towards the main house and sit on the back steps. Taking a few deep breaths, I try to stop the tears, but they just keep coming.
The empty hole that was left in my heart after my mom died throbs. I need her so bad, and she isn’t here. She isn’t here because she was taken from me.
Ripped away for what reason? I have no fucking idea.
“I wish I could talk to you, Mom,” I whisper, staring up at the dark sky.
Chapter Nineteen
Cayden
Fromtheshadows,Iwatch Harley come out of the house and walk to the back steps of the main house. Sitting down, she cries and angrily swipes her tears away. Looking up at the sky, she says something, but I am too far away to hear what it is.
I wasn’t planning on staying out here and making sure she was okay, but I couldn’t help it. I needed to know she was alright, and now I know she isn’t, but I don’t think me walking over to her would help. So instead, I just stay hidden on the side of the building, watching her.
Then the damn fucking dog hears her and wakes up from where he was sound asleep on the far side of the patio. Bear gets up and walks over to her, nudging her legs with his head and then sitting in front of her before staring at her with a head tilt.
She raises her hand and rubs his head, gifting him with one of her beautiful smiles. I see her perfect lips move as she talks to him, and he wags his tail.
My heart clenches at the sight of them together and how easily he goes to her and befriends her. My feet are carrying me towards them before I even think twice about it. As I get closer, she looks up at me and gives me a small smile. Nothing compared to what she gave Bear. The fucker.
I stop a few feet away from her and take a seat on a lower step, watching as she keeps petting him and he takes in all the attention with tail wags and panting. “He doesn’t usually like people,” I say.
Harley raises a brow as she stares at me, then looks back down at Bear.
I grunt. “I don’t know why he is being so friendly with you.”
She hums softly. “Why don’t you like people, Bear?”
“He was my mom’s dog. She rescued him as a puppy and took care of him until she died. Then he was abused and used by my father and some of his associates. I made sure to take him with me when I got to leave home, but he didn’t like being around people after that. So he just stays out in the woods most of the time.”
The words were out of my mouth before I could think twice about saying them. I have no fucking idea why I felt the need to say anything. Harley seems to bring out something in me that confuses the fuck out of me. It makes me crave affection. Connection. Something more than I ever have with my brothers.
Now watching her with Bear, it gives me another thing to draw me towards her. She cares like my mom did.
“I’m so sorry, Bear. You didn’t deserve that. I’m so glad Cade kept you,” she says as she presses her forehead to his head, and he nuzzles in closer to her.
Hearing her call me Cade instead of Cayden pulls at something inside of me, and I know it is more than just my cock rising. Standing up, I carefully adjust myself and then step in front of them.
Holding out a hand to Harley, I say, “It’s getting late. You should go to bed.”
Harley stares at my outstretched hand for a second before gripping it and letting me pull her to her feet. Her head comes to my chest, and when I glance down at her, she is breathing heavier, and her pupils are wide.