Page 101 of Freeing Souls

She shakes her head. “Don’t, honey. You are taking care of you, and after the shit that has been nonstop thrown at you over the years, you deserve to do whatever you want and need.”

“Today is about having fun and enjoying each other's company. No tears,” Atlas says as he and Lincoln come over and pull us apart.

We chuckle, and everyone heads into the yard. Cade brings over beers for Ryker, Grayson, and I and we wander around the yard and visit with people until we somehow end up at the cornhole game just like we did the first time I was around for a family BBQ.

The guys all form teams: Ryker, Grayson, and Axe against Sugar, Noah, and Jayce. Because Jayce claimed he needed tokick his dad’s booty.So he chose to be on the team against his dad.

Cade wraps his arms around my shoulders, and I lean back against him as we watch the guys yell at each other and get super competitive over the game. Even little Jayce gets into it.

“You feeling okay staying out here with everyone?” I ask Cade.

His arms tighten. “They are family.”

I nod and smile softly, completely understanding what he means.

This is our family. This will always be our family.

No matter where we go or end up. No matter if we stay in Virginia forever or come back after a few months or years. This being our family doesn’t change.

As I glance up at the sky, a single tear rolls down my cheek. I imagine my mom and dad getting to live their happily ever after, just like I am right now.

I may have a long journey ahead of me as I learn to free my soul from the chains binding it.

But there is one thing I know for sure: I survived with the most beautiful souls surrounding me.

Epilogue One

Harley

SIX MONTHS LATER

This is quite possibly the biggest mistake I have ever made. I’ve been sitting here for thirty minutes, staring at this lady as she talks to me with tears in her eyes about my shit. Because of course, we all decided that maybe giving therapy a shot would help. Presley has been going for years and says she loves it. She brings Axe sometimes, and it really helps her. Especially after she built a bond with the therapist, it’s easy for Presley to talk to her now.

But after I felt so uncomfortable I word vomited most of my shit out, and I have made this whole thing worse. Now she just keeps staring at me like she is waiting for me to break down.

Been there, done that; do I really need to do it again? In front of a stranger, no less.

“Where would you like to start? I think there’s a lot to unpack in everything you told me, and we should sort through it all together.” Pam smiles gently at me, having finally collected herself.

“I don’t know.” I tell her before I sigh, I need to actually try. I didn’t think this would help me, but I came anyway. I need to put in some kind of effort. I can do this. “I guess I always think about why. Why did I have to cross paths with the people I did? Why did my mom go through everything? Sometimes, when I look back, I can’t help but just want to scream until someone can give me an answer. I know I’ll never get one, though, so I just… I guess I need to find a way past the feeling when it rises.”

She hums. “We meet everyone in our life for a reason. What you went through, it has made you stronger–”

Whatever else she was saying is quickly cut off as I jump to my feet, my heart pounding against my chest as fury lights up my insides.

“No. Nope I’m not doing this. I didn’t meet the people in my life for a reason. There was no bigger purpose for me to have gone through what I did. Want to know what would’ve happened if Tammy had never walked into that hospital room? They would’ve found my dad. I would’ve been with him from the start and I still would’ve met everyone I love now. Or better yet, maybe my mom wouldn’t have been murdered before my eyes. Don’t sit there and tell me what I’ve been through has made me stronger and better and it all had a purpose. That’s a load of shit you feed to someone when you can’t possibly comprehend what they have been through. Don’t tell me I met my piano teacher so I could be raped and learn that I can no longer do missionary!”

I take a deep breath and reach down to grab my bag. As I head towards her door I spin back around to face the wide eyedperfectly put together woman, “I sure as hell hope you don’t tell survivors of sexual assault that. I would still be a strong woman without everything I have been through. I didn’t meet all these people who hurt me for a reason. They took years from me. And now I have to recover from that. There is no greater purpose or reason. There is no it makes you stronger. There is just the fact that I went through something fucking awful and now I have to learn to live with it and not let it destroy my future because they have already taken enough of my past away from me.”

Storming out of the room, I head outside to my bike and force myself to take a few deep breaths before climbing on to head home. Apparently I just needed a therapist so I could be my own fucking therapist.

By the time I get back home, well Brielle’s home, which is now my home, I still feel heated and overwhelmed. I knew the minute I word vomited everything to her there was no way she was going to be able to help me. I mean I’ve been through a lot of fucking shit over the years.

Kicking off my boots and tossing my bag down, I wander straight into the main living room, where the grand piano the guys got me when we first moved in sits. I wasn’t expecting it, and it has been hard at times to play, but right now, I am itching for the freedom from my own thoughts I know it will bring.

As I run my fingers over the keys, I’m reminded of that day.

“You haven’t played since long before everything happened with Killer,” Grayson says softly, running his hand up and down my back where we all stand in the living room. I stare at the beautiful, glossy black grand piano I came home to today.I wasn’t expecting it. We brought Ryker’s keyboard, and I thought that would be more than enough.

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