Page 6 of Freeing Souls

Chapter Three

Harley

Arriving at the hospital, they quickly unload Ryker, and I try to pay attention as the paramedics shoot off information to the nurses as we head into the emergency room, but I find it hard to focus on anything right now. I’ve tried the entire ride over here to shove my emotions down. Stop feeling. It shouldn’t be hard. I’ve done it lots of times in the past.

But this time, it doesn’t work. Every time I look down at Ryker passed out on the stretcher, my heart clenches, and my eyes burn with tears. His face is caked with grime, spots of blood everywhere; he doesn’t even look like himself. His favorite hoodie is ripped on the side from where something hit him in the explosion, and I can’t help but think about how mad he willbe that it got ruined. A stupid thought to be having right now, I know.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t go any farther. Let me take you to the waiting area,” a lady with a kind smile says. She places her hand on my arm and gently guides me back the way we were coming, towards a waiting room. Before we get there, my mind starts processing again, and I remember Grayson was on the way with Colton.

“Wait, um, I—there is another guy. A big, burly, bearded biker with a younger guy with glasses who came with him,” I stumble over my words.

Stepping into the empty waiting room with me, she gently takes my shoulders in her hands and locks eyes with me. “Take a breath, sweetheart. I will go see if I can find them, and as soon as there is an update on anyone, I will come find you, I promise. For now, just sit here. Drink some coffee or water and try to breathe, alright?” When I nod, she releases me and asks, “How are you related to the boy who came in?”

“He’s my—”everything,“boyfriend,” I tell her hesitantly.

“Alright. What’s his name? Is there anyone I can call for either of you?”

“Ryker Anderson. And no. They will all be here soon. They just–” My throat feels like it’s closing on me.

“Okay, you try to relax. I will be back with updates as soon as possible,” she says as she takes her leave, and suddenly, I am alone.

I feel like I am never really alone anymore. Someone is always just there or within reach. Ryker, Cayden, and Grayson are alwaysthere. I never really go without prolonged contact with people anymore.

But now as I stand here alone in this sad little waiting room, I feel defeated.

How have we made it this far to have something like this happen? Is–is this all really worth it? Loving someone so hard to just lose them?

We talked about it so much before we took down the warehouse, before we went after the people involved in the trafficking, yet nothing makes it as clear as right now in the moment when you don’t know who is still breathing and who isn’t.

Stop thinking, Harley.

After pacing for over an hour, refusing to sit and let myself be comfortable, the same nurse from earlier comes back in. The second I spot her, I numbly ask, “Is he dead?”

It’s better to just rip the Band-Aid off, right?

“No, sweetheart. He is okay. His shoulder was dislocated and he had some shrapnel in his side that they were able to remove. He is on some antibiotics right now, and they are going to get a CT done as soon as possible, but he is awake if you would like to come sit with him.” She smiles gently at me.

As we head down the hallway towards an elevator, I ask, “What about the other guy? His name is Colton. Is there any update on him?”

She shakes her head. “Not yet. I haven’t found anything. He could be here and his name just isn’t in our system. I was going to check the ER, because if he wasn’t badly hurt, they wouldn’t have taken him back right away like they did with Ryker. I haven’t had a chance to go yet, but I will after I drop you off, okay?”

I nod and follow her when the doors to the elevator open. Passing many other rooms, she stops in front of a closed doorand knocks softly before pushing it open slightly. “You have a visitor.”

Once I am inside, she shuts the door behind me, leaving us alone. Ryker grins at me from where he lays in the hospital bed, hooked up to different machines, an IV in his arm. He’s covered with a thin white blanket and wearing a hospital gown. I just stand there, staring at him. He looks more like himself now than when we got here. He has been cleaned up, and his skin seems to have more color to it than earlier.

He’s okay, but how do I do this? How do I just continue to let everyone in when losing them could destroy me?

I can feel the panic beginning to take root, and it takes everything in me not to scream and punch a wall.Five steps forward, ten steps back.I thought I was getting past all my issues, but here we are again. I just want to shut down and not deal with it, because it feels easier and safer then whatever the hell it is I am feeling.

The more I fall in love with these guys, the more I come to love everyone in the club, the tighter the barbed wire around my heart gets.It fucking hurts.

“I’m not very patient, little flame, so if you don’t get your ass over here on this bed in the next ten seconds, I will drag myself up and make you come over here, and I don’t think my nurses would appreciate that very much,” Ryker tells me, narrowing his eyes, as if he can see every thought going through my head like subtitles in front of me.

Giving him the best smile I can, I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed next to his hip, gripping his hand. “How are you feeling?” I ask as my eyes roam over his face and arms, noting the scratches and marks from the explosion.

“I feel like I got the shit beat out of me,” he says. “Is everyone else alright? I don’t remember much besides talking to the guysand then feeling this insane pressure in my head, like a gust of razor sharp wind knocking me over.”

“Um, Sugar is here somewhere, but I don’t have an update yet. Axe was okay, just some bruised ribs I think. He’s still at the club. When I left with you, they hadn’t found Atlas yet,” I explain numbly.

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