Page 113 of A Rising Hope

“Blood related or not, we were family for life.”

“Family for fuckinglife, Zora.” I turned to face her. “And that means you need to actually live.”

“How am I supposed to live, Gideon? How am I supposed to carry on with my life when I disappointed everyone I care about, when in the most crucial moment I faltered and I fell? I am the one holding the bloodied knife, Gideon. I heartlessly hurt the one person I love the most.”

“Well . . . ” I contemplated, “for a start you could get another ugly tattoo on the other side of your face, then everyone would surely feel bad for you,” I baited her, but she gave me defeated sigh. “There are a lot of people that care about you, Zora. And I know it’s hard for you to believe because you don’t think you deserve forgiveness. But the truth is, genuine forgiveness isn’t earned, Zora, it’s freely given.”

“He’ll never forgive me, Gideon. And I don’t know how I am going to live my life knowing that.”

I slowly stood up, wincing at the shooting pain down my spine. Zora’s weary eyes inspected me, but she didn’t move. I dusted off the dirt from my dark pants, adjusting my dagger at my side as I looked at her again. Her face, full of devastation, filled with silver lines again.

“When Finnleah left me for Viyak, I was heartbroken.Devastated. I couldn’t understand how. How my love for her was not enough. I always thought love was all prevailing, that true love would always trump anything else. That day, Orest told me something that stuck with me for a very long time. He said that if I thought that love was all prevailing, then I had never truly loved.”

“At first, that wounded me, but then I understood that he was right. Because what I didn’t know then, but what I do know now—love isn’t all prevailing, but all enduring, Zora. True love doesn’t mean you won’t face hardships, seemingly impossible situations and so much fucking heartbreak, but true love endures through it all.” I glanced towards the top of the stairs, where Finnleah would soon be waiting for me. My Empress, my Queen, my fucking Goddess and even just the thought of her being closer, the air felt clearer, easier to breathe.

“It’s not the love that people write grand stories about or sing in ballads and songs, it’s the one you think of on your deathbed. It’s the one who made you heal in ways you didn’t think werepossible. It’s the one who gives you hope and grants you mercy even when you don’t think you deserve it. It’s the one that makes your life gain purpose even when you thought you lost yours. And when you find that person, when you take that first breath of air, and feel so fucking alive, you do not let go, you fucking fight for it, even if it means overcoming your own demons, Zora. You selfishly hold on to your sliver of happiness in this grim world.” I extended my arm to her, but she just stared at my hand, considering. I tilted my head to her, nudging her. “Now,Commander”—her eyes widened at her reinstated title—“time for you to return. After all, we have a war to finish. The Queen might be dead, but the rest of her Destroyer lackeys still need to be dealt with.”

With a hesitant inhale, she grabbed my hand getting up to her feet. Limping beside me with her broken swollen toes as we sluggishly climbed up the stairs.

“I am getting exceptionally good at these speeches,” I smirked at her as we walked out into the narrow corridor.

“Let’s hope you never have to give another one,” Zora murmured, braving a glance around us as her eyes adjusted to the dim daylight. Suddenly the abandoned walls shook like in an earthquake. Dust from the old brick walls filled the air as screams erupted outside.

“What the fuck was that?!” Zora coughed, covering her head as bits of ceiling plaster fell.

“Dragons.” I smirked wide. “Real fucking dragons.”

67

GIDEON

“Their fleet is stationed there.” Orest pointed to the wide stretch of blue on the Kinderby River. “This is their weakest spot, they know that.”

“They would be expecting us to attack from there,” I agreed as my eyes met Orest’s.

A sudden flash of lightning lit up the dim room through the striking, arched windows. The rolling crack of thunder shook the stone walls next. Heavy droplets of rain thudded against the thick glass, some of them making their way through the unkept roof of the abandoned building.

“Yes, but storming the city walls would be even more unreasonable,” Orest objected. “They have been preparing for a siege for a long time. We are not talking months, we are talkingyears,Gideon, you know that.” I rubbed the side of my head, contemplating. The empty dinner plates of our hastily put together meal caught the drops from the leaking roof, making loud splashes.

We couldn’t afford a siege that lasted years. Not with our depleted resources and with winter so quickly approaching. That fact irked me, making me want to claw my skin.

What little was left of my armies would take generations to recover.

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“Challenge the ruling general battle clause?” I suggested, though hating the words before they even reached my tongue. The ancient rite of requesting a honorary battle on the field to avoid the unnecessary slaughter of by standing citizens caught in a Destroyers’ quarrel. It was an old fool’s hope that both sides had honor and the desire to spare the weak from harm.

In our case, neither I nor he was honorable enough to have an honest fight in an open field.

“He won’t agree to it. He knows very well that the only reason why Finn hasn’t already incinerated half the city is because she gains nothing from the biggest city of Esnox being scorched. He has been keeping many of his battalions hidden in civilian clothing and doesn’t keep the armies in one spot. We’d have to smoke them out one by one to kill them all. Knowing that is our challenge, he will never agree to confront you in a battle outside the walls of the city.”

“He doesn’t know Gideon is alive. There is a chance he might believe I am not as bloodthirsty as my husband. So perhaps, negotiations?” Finnleah offered, sitting next to me as the storm thundered outside. Her hand was warm in mine, fingers intertwined. I placed my other hand on top of hers, indulging myself in her presence, in her touch, any second I could savor.

“We can try. He might not know Gideon is alive and well, but news of the dragons has long reached every living soul in Esnox. I rather doubt he would agree to any negotiations, nor to even meet us for one. Weary of raw fire and dragons, he will not let his armies leave the city walls under any circumstances.” Orest glanced towards the closed door, pausing. But the handle didn’t move. He swallowed, returning his eyes to the map laid-out on the old kitchen table. “He is trying to force us into a siegebecause he knows that our numbers are depleted. Hidden or not, his armies in Svitar quadruple what we have left.”

“So, he hopes we storm the river and die based on numbers, or starve in a decade-long siege?” Finnleah’s brows furrowed deeper. She glanced between Orest and I.

“Precisely. Svitar can be self-sustaining for a long time.” Orest grimly nodded.

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