Page 33 of Beyond the Badge: Crew

“I’m fine,” Nox repeated, not looking at anyone.

Jesus.“I wish that was true,” Crew said under his breath. He knew Nox heard it when the man tugged his baseball cap lower.

An attempt at hiding his eyes and his expression.

Hell, just hiding in general.

The whole reason the man rarely left The Plant. He didn’t want to deal with life.

He felt hollow and alone. Despite the last being farthest from the truth.

They had all been shocked and surprised, even pleased, when he agreed to go undercover with Rez back in January. Of course, that didn’t last long. And what happened during that period of time—finding Sadie dead in that Ohio motel room and in the condition she was—derailed Nox all over again.

Decker, Rez and Finn never should’ve taken him along. They should’ve known they’d find Sadie either dead or badly abused.

Though, they had no idea they’d find her corpse defiled. It was most likely seeing her in that condition that pushed him over the edge.

Crew pulled himself back to the present when Cross said, “We’re here for you. No matter how bad it gets. But none of us have the skill or experience needed to truly help you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Christ almighty!” Crew bellowed. “You’re not. Did you forget we knew you before…” He swallowed the next words and pivoted. “We knew you when youwerefine. You are far from that now, brother. You can keep saying that, but it’s all bullshit.”

Jamison glared at him.

Crew closed his eyes and took a breath. His heart was no longer aching but burning.

When Jamison went over to Nox, he stared at what the BAMC prez was holding in his hand.

“Take them,” Jamison demanded.

Nox did, but reluctantly.

Crew already knew what they were because everyone had a discussion about it beforehand. One was a business card to a cognitive behavioral therapist. The other was a pamphlet for a grief support group.

Not the same group he had attended right after Jackie’s death, since he never shared the reason why he stopped going to that one. They had found another group specifically for spouses and loved ones of law enforcement and military, whether lost in the line of duty or not. Crew hoped it would be a better fit, even though his late wife had been neither.

Jamison had reached out to the person leading the group and they said he was welcome to attend since it was also open to law enforcement personnel experiencing loss, as well.

After a quick glance at the info, Nox asked, “I get to pick?”

“No,” Jamison answered. “You’re going to do both.”

* * *

Crew tooka long ride after the “intervention” was over. He needed to clear his head and hoped it would help his heartburn pass. He even hit the highway so he could open up Silver Foxy and feel all her power and speed.

He hated the fact that they had to ambush Nox like that. To Crew, it bordered on betrayal. As it did to Nox. But still…

If it meant saving their brother, it was necessary. Despite what Nox thought.

The man did not look happy when they finally let him go. It was also concerning that, instead of heading back up to his apartment, he walked out the door, straddled his bike and sped away.

Maybe he was doing the same as Crew. Blowing off some steam.

They considered having someone follow him, but both he and Jamison agreed to let him have time alone to process.

They did what they could do and only hoped in the end it would all work out.

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