Page 125 of Beyond the Badge: Nox

“She was with Jackie.”

Her brow furrowed. “In the same coffin?” Was that even allowed?

“I didn’t need to get her one. She couldn’t be… saved, so they never…” He pulled in another deep breath. “They never…”

It hit Liyah what he was trying to say. The baby remained in the womb. She stayed tucked safely within her mother.

Two souls remained connected for eternity. While another became lost, trying to figure out how to survive without them.

Good God, his situation was so much worse than she originally thought. And she had no words that would make it any better.

It wasn’t true that time healed all wounds. Eventually the pain might dull, but it would never go away completely. Nox would carry it with him until the day he was laid in the ground himself.

Just like Liyah would miss Mark until the day she took her last breath. And she’d also feel sad that her son missed out on a relationship with his father.

“You didn’t choose a name beforehand?” Most parents at least had a short list once they found out the sex of the baby. And from how Nox talked, he knew the baby was a girl.

“I made her wait. I wanted to meet her first. It was my fault that she didn’t have a name.”

“But you can fix that by naming her now. She’s still your daughter. She will be forever.” And it might help with closure. Because clearly, he hadn’t had any.

“I don’t know,” came muffled against her scarf.

He stepped back, turning away immediately and walking across the kitchen. Most likely to hide his red eyes and swollen nose. The proof he had broken down.

“Think about it. It doesn’t have to be today. Or even tomorrow. Do it when you’re ready. Because, Nox, she existed. And she still owns a piece of your heart.”

“Sorry for fucking up your breakfast plans.”

As soon as she said, “Nox,youare more important than breakfast,” he spun and headed back to her with his eyes intense.

He didn’t stop until he ran into her, enveloping her tightly in his arms and whispering, “Thank you.”

Why did him thanking her break her heart even more? “I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes, you did. You did more than you know.”

* * *

Aaliyah was right.He should name his daughter and add it to the headstone. He hadn’t stopped thinking about it since she encouraged him to do so.

He had only “mother and child” engraved under Jackie’s name. At the time, he hadn’t been thinking too clearly and wasn’t sure what to put. Plenty of space remained to add his daughter’s name.

However, even though the thought had been on his mind since she mentioned it, he wasn’t sure he was ready to pick a name. To sit down and really concentrate on it. He was afraid of what that might stir up again. One breakdown this weekend was enough.

Were things improving? Slowly. And he had to credit Liyah for that.

After spending that whole weekend at her place—only leaving at the same time she left to pick up her boys—he began to look forward to attending the Wednesday night grief group.

Not so he could share, but because he knew he’d see her.

He would tolerate the circle because that meant he could sit next to her. Being near her partially filled the emptiness inside him.

He’d been living in a bubble consisting of only work and his MC ever since he found himself a widower. So, he surprised himself by looking forward to spending time with her. Unfortunately, finding that time wouldn’t be easy between her business, him being on the task force and trying to keep their connection a secret. From both her family and also his.

He didn’t want her to be spotted going into his apartment. And he couldn’t stay at her place when her boys were home. That would make their time together very limited, but he was good with whatever he could get.

He had no idea what it was about Liyah that drew him. Yes, they had experienced a similar loss but that was the only thing in common between them.

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