Page 37 of Beyond the Badge: Nox

He shook that memory free. “Sunday mornings in bed,” he lied.

“What about them?”

“Snuggling under the covers.” He made sure to keep his expression masked when she searched his face.

She didn’t believe him.

The woman was too damn astute. “That sounds sweet.”

He wasn’t the only one lying.

He tipped his head to the side. “It was.” He yelled, “Next!” before she could ask another question.

The look she shot him was most likely similar to what she gave her sons when they were being bratty.

If he was going to lose sleep, it wouldn’t be over that.

Ten minutes later, everyone had answered her question. Apparently, it was time for a new one when she announced, “Now… What do you miss most about them? Name one thing. Nothing’s too small or insignificant to mention. It could be the way they smiled. Laughed. Their bad jokes. Anything. I’ll start… Mark cupping my cheek and kissing my eyelids. The first time he did it, I thought it was weird. Now, I miss it.”

Nox used to cup Jackie’s cheek, stare into her eyes and whisper, “Love you.”

She’d come back with, “Love you more.”

He’d finish by saying, “Impossible.”

He waited with dread as all attendees to his right shared what they missed most about their late spouse, parent, sibling or even best friend. The reason they were in the group.

His chest tightened when he was next.

When he was a kid, he wished his superpower was being invisible. Tonight was no different.

“Nox? What do you miss about…”

He had held his breath, waiting to see if she would say Jackie’s name. He had never told the group who he lost. Not her name, not who she was to him.

He had kept all of that to himself.

“Your loved one?” she finished.

He thought she was going to throw a curve ball at him. She didn’t. Even so, he didn’t want to take part this “go around the circle” game she was playing tonight.

On purpose.

To get him to participate.

Another reason not to come back next week and find another group. Even if it was more than an hour away.

He dug his fingers into his thighs to keep his emotions under control. “Everything.”

“Could you be more specific?”

No.“There’s nothing I don’t miss about her. It’s impossible to narrow it down.”

And that was true.

Aaliyah could accept his answer or not. He didn’t care. The same way she didn’t when he told her he didn’t want the damn cookie.

As she opened her mouth to push him, he yelled, “Next!”

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