Page 92 of Beyond the Badge: Nox

“I,” the weight bearing down on his chest quickly became unbearable, and he finished on a whisper, “can’t.”

Her throat undulated as she swallowed, gave him the slightest nod and went on to discuss their next activity.

Thank fuck she didn’t push it.

He said he wasn’t coming back to these meetings. He should’ve stuck with that declaration. What was the point, if he didn’t share anything? If he got absolutely zero out of attending?

He glanced at the woman next to him.

Originally it was because his brothers forced him to attend.

Now?

He only had one excuse.

Her.

To see her. To hear her voice. To be near her.

She also gave him the hope that he’d eventually be able to move on and to push past the guilt for doing so.

Mark James had been a love of a lifetime for her.

The same as Jackie had been for him.

The difference was, once Liyah got her footing, she continued to live the life she was meant to have. Only without her husband and father of her child.

Did she hit some speed bumps? Of course. Life never went as smoothly as anyone hoped. Despite that, she kept her head up and marched forward by raising her two sons, running a very successful business, and helping others. Even stubborn fucks like him.

The woman was impressive.

And he was simply a dick.

A hand clamped around his forearm, making him jerk back to reality. “Can you stay and help me put everything away?”

What?The meeting was over already? Had he been that lost in his head?

He glanced around and noticed everyone getting to their feet and collecting their belongings.

“Nox?” she whispered.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

He continued to sit as everyone gathered by the front door in front of the refreshment table, stuffing baked goods into their mouth or grabbing a couple of whatever she brought tonight to go.

He stayed where he was as the group slowly funneled their way out the door until only one or two people remained, talking to Liyah.

They were all smiling and joking, unlike his miserable ass.

For fuck’s sake, he just wanted his life back.

The way it had been.

Even though that was impossible.

His life would never go back to being what it used to be because one major piece of it was missing.

He studied the woman standing there, being kind and encouraging to others…

---