Page 14 of Jace

He lets out an exasperated breath.

“You said you couldn’t give me what I wanted. You said you weren’t built for the kind of life that Daxton is building with Bree. What the hell do you expect me to do, be okay with being the girl who is there when you need me and disappears when you don’t?”

“Of course not.” He’s so frustrated. “You think I like this?” He spins around creating some distance between us. “Do you think I like twisting things up and making us both miserable. Fuck Ror, I hate this.”

Jace turns back only this time the small island in the center of my kitchen separates us. “It’s not that I don’t want what Dax and Bree have, I do. I want it so fucking bad it hurts.” He places his hand on his chest like he’s attempting to rub an ache that lies beneath.

“I want it,” he adds again in a lowered voice almost like he’s whispering more to himself than me. He is looking down focusing on the space where his hands rest like he’s too afraid to look at me.

“But I know there will come a time when I fuck it all up. I’ll act before I think it through and in the end, I will lose you.” He lifts his gaze to meet mine once again. The glossy look in his eyes surprises me.

“I don’t know how to be the kind of man you deserve and the idea of hurting you anymore than I already have is crippling. I hate that I’ve caused you pain, babe. I hate that I’m responsible for any of your tears. But if we do this, I know the tears you’ve shed won’t be the last I cause. I’m an asshole.” The corner of his mouth tips up, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “I fuck everything good up, you’d be better off with a guy like Zac. He cares, sometimes too much. It kills me that I did what I did to a guy that has always been in my corner.”

“Then fix it with him.” I hold his stare. “Because I can tell it’s killing him too. I think that you and he are the most important thing right now.”

“And this?” He motions between us, and more than anything I want to spill all the emotions that are coursing through me but instead I do what I do best. I tuck everything away.

“I think we’ve both said everything we need to say.”

“Aurora.” He starts to round the counter.

“You were right.” I place my hand against the center of my chest. “We would just end badly.” My chest burns. “We should just admit that this isn’t going to work and it never will. We should both just move on.”

I can tell he wants to say more, but he holds back. Honestly, I’m grateful. I’m exhausted and I can feel myself crumbling slowly.

I need space.

I need time alone to accept the words I’ve spoken. Because they are so very far from what I truly feel but I know it’s for the best.

Chapter Eleven

Jace

“How would next Thursday afternoon work for you?” I look up from my tablet and see Melissa scrolling through her phone, biting her lip, deep in thought.

“I have to take Logan to Karate practice at five. Do you think that gives us enough time?”

Her piercing blue eyes connect with mine and she offers me a sweet smile.

A year ago I would have been playing this out and seeing how far I could take it, but my head isn’t in the game. It hasn’t been fully in the game since Aurora gave me the first kiss. But it is even worse since I left her apartment knowing that I’ve driven her too far away this time.

But it shouldn’t surprise me; it’s what I do, what I’m good at.

“All we have to finish up is a little shading and back filling on the lower half.” She nods and starts tapping away on her phone.

“Two work?”

“That works for me,” she agrees and we add the appointment to our schedules.

Ten minutes later I am offering her a wave as she exits out onto the sidewalk and then disappears into the night.

It’s been four days since my conversation with Aurora. A conversation that left me feeling lost and confused. I don’t know where she and I stand, but where that night ended sure felt like an end.

Making my way back down the hallway toward my room I pause just outside of Luna’s room when I hear hushed voices. Things are still a little strange, ever since Zac and I had our falling out. Things are better now, but definitely not where they once were. It’s almost like everyone is watching and waiting for the next bomb to explode.

Leaning against the wall I place my ear closer to the partially opened door and listen.

“I’ve tried to convince her to go to therapy.” Luna’s voice is hoarse, full of emotion. “It’s hard enough knowing that it’s because of me she’s going through this in the first place.”

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