Page 37 of Taming Her Bears

Drew was right about Natalia as the overseer for the lodge. She was personable—not as bubbling as Rhoda, who was the hostess, but personable in the way of a professional instructor. She made a good trail guide. She taught survival skills. She knew how to handle an emergency. There was “state trooper” written all over her attitude, so people behaved.

She met us at the dock in Homer every time our boat came in while the lodge was in its first stages, but by the second year, it was no longer necessary. The building was finished. We moved out of the apartment. We had summer-long clientele, with flights and charters. In the winter, we used one of our company’s cubs to fly across the bay to our home.

Our home. We built our house separate from the lodge and in line with a small group of cabins. It had looked like a small community in the summer, although in the winter, it was nearly deserted. Only a few of the staff members with no place to go, some international travelers wanting some northern exposure, and an occasional local checking out the scene hung out at the lodge during the winter. If Natalia minded the solitude, she didn’t say anything about it. She was never completely alone. Even if she saw the same faces day after day, there were villages nearby. She would sometimes take out one of the boats to go visiting. On calm days, she would fly into Homer with the cook for supplies and a short holiday.

You wouldn’t think that small amount of visiting with other Bristol Bay residents would have changed things, but it did. Since Natalia had gone to visit them, some of the villagers decided to visit her. On at least one occasion, some villagers came out while my team and I were romping around as bears.

When the Natives start seeing shapeshifters, word gets out. By the end of the second year, locals from miles around were visiting the lodge and holding their dances. They began having shapeshifters reunions. The pull of their chants, the rhythm of their drums was too much for us. The tourists enjoyed seeing them in the summer, but in the winter, the sound of the drums and the steady chants became too much for us. We became a part of it. We joined the dance by the flickering firelight while our bear shadows stood straight and tall. The wolves howled and the eagles soared. The raven watched until dawn.

There is a story—perhaps you’ve heard it—that a shapeshifter can tell a mama bear by a little piece of red sun glowing in her stomach, given to her by a raven. The first time I made love to Natalia, I saw that red glow. I knew we were destined for her. Oh, hell. I knew it the minute I was a raging shapeshifting bear standing in front of her for the first time, scaring the piss out of her. I could feel the pull of that red sun. Darkhorse knew. He’d also felt that irresistible pull and was ready to sacrifice himself to her right there on the spot. It’s why he let her beat him into submissiveness. They all knew. Natalia was a mama bear and we could never be anything else except the loyal shapeshifters who loved her.

The night of the winter solstice, the shapeshifters gathered from hundreds of miles around to celebrate the returning sun. It was a night when all spirit animals can be released, even the ones so deeply hidden, the hosts never realize they are there. I felt so wild and free, among a people who understood me. I danced feverishly, my heart pounding, my skin shining with sweat in the firelight.

I was mesmerized by Natalia. She was in a strange, moving trance. Her eyes smoldered, her slightly parted lips glistened, her skin was glossy in the flow of the flames. Surrounding her were the other bear forms, their shadows leaping as high as the trees. They wove in and out, keeping a steady beat, seeming to touch her but backing away. Another pass around the fire and they came closer, sniffing the air while she danced, her hips twisting, her breath rushing in and out excitedly.

The chanters squatted low to the ground, hands fluttering in front of them, working their magic. I was hypnotized. I felt a passion like none I had experienced before. I could think of nothing except my burning desire to drown in her embraces, to sink into her arms forever. I gathered her up and carried her away with the rest of the team still circling around her, giving of themselves without taking, waiting for the moment that belonged to all of us. I carried her to our cabin while the wolves howled, the ravens cackled, and the other shapeshifters continued their unworldly dance between animal and human.

The sky remained still and black. The promise of a returning red sun was a dim memory in a night twenty-one hours long. The shifting northern lights cast down long spears of color that dazzled the pale, distant moon. She looked ethereal under a sky so brilliant with colors, it turned the landscape blue. I set her inside our newly finished home. She was wearing a long, embroidered parka that she unzipped and let drop to the floor. We surrounded her and touched her soft under garments. They slipped away under our hands, revealing creamy flesh that curved in gracefully at the neck and waist and spread with buttery smoothness to full, upright breasts and flaring hips.

We carried her to the bed especially made for the five of us and set her down tenderly, accepting her caressing touch and approaching only when she drew us closer. We began to merge. Our touches. Our thoughts. Our saliva mixed in a tangle of arms and legs, in a swell of emotions that heaved with both turbulence and ecstasy. We were each other and we were one.

Outside the windows, the drums were still beating, still calling back the red sun. The sounds echoed into the forest and were picked up again as village after village answered. I kissed the red spot on Natalia’s flat stomach. It was just under and to the right of her heart, and it was glowing.

Three months went by and the glow spread. She became irritable. She threw up in the morning and ate everything in sight for the rest of the day. She was demanding. She would complain that she was cold and when we turned into bear rugs to keep her warm, complained that she was hot.

Three of the village elders came to see her. One of them, an old lady who used a walker to get around and painted her nails with glittering purple polish, felt Natalia’s forehead, patted her tummy, and shrugged. “That’s easy enough. She’s pregnant.”

That was easy enough for a diagnosis, but it still presented a problem. The elders huddled together and held a consultation. The old lady, who must have been their own mama bear, spoke again. “You can’t take her to Homer. You can’t take her to a regular doctor.”

“No, I don’t suppose we can,” I agreed, scratching the back of my neck and trying to decide whether I should look happy or worried.

It wasn’t the right response. Natalia shouted unhappily, “Well, I’m not going to have the baby by myself.”

The old lady cranked over her walker to stand by Natalia reassuringly. “We’ll send a specialist. She has experience with shapeshifter babies.”

Natalia wasn’t the cheeriest of patients. “I hope you don’t expect me to live in a cave for six months,” she responded sulkily, then winced. “Although hibernating wouldn’t be bad. Aren’t bear cubs supposed to be tiny?”

The old lady chuckled, her walker scraping against the floor as she moved around. “It’s your body adjusting. Relax. Don’t worry. We’ve got you covered.”

The elders had said not to worry, so I put on a hopeful, happy face after they left. “You’re not sick! You’re going to have a baby. That’s good news.”

She glanced at the four of us, all with the same ear-to-ear grin. “I knew I was pregnant. I was just afraid to say something,” she confided sulkily.

I scowled, puzzled. “Why?”

“You’re on duty. You might not be here when the baby is born. I’ve been trying to work it out. Do shapeshifters even look human when they’re born? A lot of things run through my head.”

I sat next to her and held her hand. “You won’t be alone. The village is sending their expert.”

She gave me a dubious look. “A medicine woman?”

“A midwife who delivers shapeshifter babies. And I’ll put in a special request with the admiralty to rotate our leave so one of us is always home.”

She looked hopeful instead of irritable for the first time in three months. “You can do that?”

“I will do that. Can you allow us to be happy now? We’re going to have a baby!”

“Yes,” she said, “you can be happy.”

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