Page 25 of Broken Bonds

There are a million things I want to say to him in that moment, but none of them feel appropriate anymore. I feel like even bringing up the fact that he’s a phoenix would only make the situation tense. I also don’t think I should be the one to broach the topic of our situation first, seeing as I’ve been the one stubbornly on lock down.

Silence settles between us as he continues cooking. I drum my fingers nervously on the table. When he finally brings the food over to the table, my leg is also jittering. He settles across from me and begins to scoop a serving of the meal onto my plate.

“Thank you,” I murmur, eyes downcast.

“You’re welcome,” he replies, filling his own plate. He sets the pots away and then I feel him staring at me. “Are you okay?”

I glance up at him. “Oh…yes! Sorry. I’m fine.”

He arches a brow. “Fine is a word that’s used when things are exactly the opposite of fine. I know you’ve been through a lot, and have needed some time, but…do you want to talk about anything?”

Now’s my chance. He’s giving me an opening. This is the opportunity to ask him to help me with my research. I open my mouth, the words on the tip of my tongue…but I can’t get them out. I don’t know why, but I just can’t seem to ask what I want to ask.

I panic a moment as I realize I’m just staring at him with a dumbfounded look on my face.

At last, I manage to sputter, “I…I’m sorry that I’ve been freaking out, if that’s the right way to put it. It’s just been…a lot, you know?”

He nods. “Yeah, I understand. I know everything that’s happened must be overwhelming, and I want to help you come to terms with it all as best I can.”

“Have you…have you ever told your secret to another human?” It’s kind of a random question, and I’m not sure where it came from, but I’m genuinely curious about this. If other people know or have known about him, about phoenixes, how have they reacted? For some reason, I don’t really like the idea of other people knowing about him. There’s a part of me that likes the idea that I might be the only person who knows what he really is…but I’m not willing to dive into why that is right at the moment.

Aleixo appears thoughtful for a moment and at length says, “I have, but they’re long dead by now.”

That startles me a bit. I haven’t really thought all that much about his longevity versus a human’s. I suppose there are a lot of humans he’s known throughout his life that aren’t alive anymore. And…I’ll be among their number, one day, won’t I?

What a terribly depressing thought.

“How did they react to the revelation?” I ask in a softer voice.

To my surprise, he chuckles. “Well, a few reacted very similarly to you. A few revered me as some mystical being or god…but those were in my earliest years of life. Worship was less and less often a response to finding out what I am.”

I blink. Dear Lord, here I was thinking he was hundreds of years old…but could he be thousands?

Shoving that particular thought away, I pose another question. “Are there others like you?”

His expression grows somewhat guarded. “Well, yes…but I haven’t interacted with any others since I arrived here.”

“Why’s that?”

He shrugs. “We phoenixes don’t have the same need to be constantly in touch with each other like you humans seem to have. Our long lives make a handful of years seem like nothing in comparison.”

“I see,” I murmur, though I can’t really understand. There’s silence once more, and I try to force out the questions I want to ask him a second time. However, I still can’t seem to get them past my lips. What the heck? “When was the last time a human learned what you were?”

Something flashes across his face. Something bitter and angry.

“It was a lifetime ago, and a mistake. I thought the bastard was a friend. We’d been soldiers together in one of the countless wars humans like to engage in. I was injured in battle, and this man saw me heal. I told him what I really was, and though he promised to keep my secret…he didn’t. He told our superiors and they wanted to capture me and harness my abilities for their own selfish uses…I escaped and went into hiding, something I’d done a thousand times before. I swore I’d never tell another human what I was after that.”

I can feel the blood draining from my face, suddenly glad I haven’t managed to ask him to participate in my research. The anger flickering in his eyes is more than enough warning that he likely wouldn’t respond well to my request. He would likely think I was just trying to use him like those soldiers. If I’m going to get his help, I need to be very careful about how I go about it.

“You’re really pale all of a sudden,” he tells me, his expression shifting to one of concern. “Are you feeling alright?”

I quickly nod. “Yes, yes, sorry…hearing about your life is just making me realize how incredible of a being you really are.”

He looks somewhat embarrassed by that. “Oh…don’t think that. I’m not incredible.”

“I think you are,” I whisper, dropping my gaze to my plate of food. Why did I just say that? What the hell is the matter with me?

I can feel him gazing at me again and I slowly look up to meet his eyes. We stare at each other for several long moments, and the silence stretching between us feels heavy and loaded with some kind of significance. It scares me a bit and I look away.

---