Page 32 of Broken Bonds

My tears break free and I can’t stop them. I gaze up at him as they run down my cheeks, and his eyes widen and he appears startled by my reaction. He lets go of my writs, but then cups my face in both his hands.

“Don’t cry,” he softly says. “Please, please don’t cry.”

But I can’t stop. The floodgates have been opened. I shake my head, but he doesn’t let me go.

“How could you believe I’d betray you like that?” I demand to know with a sob. “That I would use you like that?”

He appears stricken, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. Wiping my tears with his thumbs, he appears to try and come up with some sort of explanation for me, but he can’t seem to force the words out. His mouth opens and closes, and opens and closes again like a fish.

At length, he releases a long sigh and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please, come inside and I’ll explain everything.”

I blink. I hadn’t expected such an offer from him. Excuses, yes. Some type of attempt to dodge telling me more about him or his kind, definitely. The whole truth, though, is very surprising.

Slowly, I nod my head, not fully able to speak without sounding like a blubbering idiot. Aleixo lets go of my face so he can take my hand and lead me inside of his lab. This in and of itself feels significant. He’s never let me into this space before. It feels like I’m walking into his world…into his mind, and I pray that I’m finally able to understand this man a little better simply by being in here. He leads me to his worktable and guides me to sit in the stool there. Once I’m settled, he leans his hip against the table and gives me a very focused look.

“I suppose I should begin by telling you about my research,” he says without preamble. “As it’s the reason I came here in the first place.”

I’m not sure that that’s really what the focus of this conversation should be, but I don’t argue with him. He’s finally willing to talk to me about his innerworkings, so I decide not to do anything that might deter him from this.

He takes a deep breath and begins, “I came here to study the Phoenix Cluster, but more specifically, I wanted to see if I could learn more about my kind and how we work. How we consume energy compared to humans. I thought if I could figure this out, I could unravel the secrets behind why we are able to regenerate, why we live so long…how we exist, really.”

I frown. “That seems like a lot for one person to try and uncover.”

He shrugs. “Well, that’s true, but I’ve been working on answering these questions for a few hundred years now. When you have the time to spare, it’s a little bit more attainable.”

Ah, yes. I forgot. He’s all but immortal.

Nodding, I reply, “All right, so you’ve been trying to uncover the secrets of why phoenixes exist. I can understand that desire…but it doesn’t explain why you treated me the way that you did.”

He scratches the back of his head, clearly uncomfortable. “I know…that explanation is somewhat complicated.”

“Then uncomplicate it.” I fold my arms over my chest and stare at him expectantly.

Releasing a long breath, he nods. “Alright. Well, the reason behind wanting to break down how phoenixes function, is part of our make-up consists of an internal connection called the mating bond. A phoenix is destined to its mate, and when two mates encounter each other, they form this instinctual bond that makes it so they are drawn to each other and connected for all eternity.”

I blink, rather stunned by this. “Ho…hold on. You have fated mates?”

“We do,” he confirms. “The bond is a powerful thing, and no phoenix is able to resist its pull. It takes over our minds and our bodies, in a way, and can force us to be with another being that we might not even actually like. We can’t resist the bond, however, and so we’re stuck in an unhappy pairing, completely powerless to change anything about it.”

“That sounds…terrible,” I murmur, thinking of what it would be like to be forced into a relationship with someone because of some biological instinct.

“It can be,” he replies softly. He suddenly looks far away and lost in thought.

“I get the feeling you have personal experience with the more negative aspects of the mating bond,” I say as I study him more closely.

The corner of his mouth twitches as if he’s fighting a smile. “Very perceptive of you, but I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re rather brilliant after all.”

“Don’t try to butter me up,” I tell him firmly. “You’re still on my shit list unless you can give me a really good explanation as to why you were such an asshole earlier.”

“Fair enough,” he replies with a nod. “Alright, well, the first thing you should know is that I had a mate several lifetimes ago…and I couldn’t stand her.”

“Why not?”

He actually shudders before he answers. “She was a bloodthirsty monster. She reveled in war and carnage. I don’t think she possessed a merciful bone in her body. She would spill blood as easily as someone might spill tea. Every moment I was with her was torment.”

My jaw drops and I can’t believe what he’s telling me. It’s so awful.

“What happened?” Is his mate still out there somewhere, wreaking havoc? Did he come to Antarctica in part to hide from her? “Where is your mate now?”

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