Page 34 of Broken Bonds

“Wh…what?” I finally managed to stammer.

He nods. “I took a second dose of the potion in order to break our bond with each other. We will no longer be forced to be together.”

I know this should be good news and that I should feel relieved, but I don’t. In truth, I feel rather…hurt.

“How long have you known I am…was your mate?” I ask softly, my gaze on my hands in my lap.

“I figured it out a few weeks ago,” he said. “I had suspected it for some time, but I didn’t want it to be true, so I tried to ignore the signs. They became too obvious to ignore, however.”

He’s speaking so calm and rationally, and yet each word he says feels like a physical blow to my gut. He didn’t want to be bonded with me. He didn’t want it to be true.

“When did you take it?” I ask, though I’m afraid I probably already know the answer.

“This morning,” he states, almost matter-of-factly. “After our fight.”

He didn’t want to be bonded with me, yet he didn’t take the potion until the morning after we’d made love. What is that supposed to tell me? What am I supposed to think?

“Why did you wait so long?” My voice sounds small and scared, and I feel tears forming in my eyes once more though I try to fight them to keep them from falling.

“I…I wasn’t sure I wanted to break it,” he confesses in a soft tone.

“But this morning…you were suddenly sure.” It’s not a question. It’s a heart-wrenching statement of fact.

“Well…I…” he stumbles with his explanation, and I wonder if he’s at last noticed just how hurt I am by all this. “It’s not really that simple.”

I jerk my gaze up to his. “How is it not that simple, Aleixo? You didn’t want to be bonded with me because you don’t want me. Simple. Straightforward.” A horrible thought enters my mind, dragging with it every insecurity I’m constantly trying to suppress. “Is…is it because I’m not…whole?”

He frowns, appearing genuinely confused. “What do you mean?”

I tap my prosthetic. “You know what I mean.”

His eyes widen and he straightens from where he was leaning against the table. “What? No! That’s not it at all. Samantha, I don’t think you’re broken or missing anything.”

“That’s easy enough for you to say, but your actions aren’t really backing up your words.”

To my surprise, he steps closer to me and takes my hands in his. He holds my gaze, and the sincerity in his eyes nearly undoes me.

“I think you are beautiful and brilliant,” he assures me. “I’m so attracted to you, it’s almost obscene.”

Those words should make me feel better, but I just can’t shake the lingering doubts in the back of my mind.

“If all that’s true, why did you want to break our bond so badly?” I ask him softly.

He closes his eyes and releases a breath. I wait for him to open his eyes again and explain himself.

When he finally does, he says, “I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“Several things,” he admits. “First, there was the whole experience with my former mate hanging over my head like an axe and I was terrified of going through something like that again.”

I nod, finding that a rather understandable reason for avoiding future bonds.

“And second?” I prompt. “You said that one was first.”

He chuckles softly. “Nothing gets past you. Alright, the second reason was…cowardice.”

I furrow my brow. “I don’t understand.”

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