Page 31 of Bound By Destiny

I could continue playing superficial and try to bring out his jealousy, but I realize this game has already gone too far. If I want to get Dane to confess his feelings – or lack thereof – I need to approach him honestly, not in these roundabout ways.

“He’s really smart,” I say as I stir the memories I’ve done my best to ignore since we broke up. “And he likes the same things as me. I don’t mean just work-related stuff. Music, books... We have so much in common, it’s uncanny.”

Dane crossed his arms and glowers at me. “I like heavy metal. I’ve never been to an actual concert, but I watch videos online sometimes.”

This time, I can’t stifle my giggle. “Oh no! I think that may be the only kind of music I can’t stand.”

Is it my imagination, or does he look disappointed?

“So Caleb was perfect for you,” Dane mumbles, and there’s no missing the troubled crease between his brows.

“Yeah,” I sigh, “or at least that’s what I thought. But now…”

Dane’s gaze lifts right away. “Now what?” He presses breathlessly.

“Now I wonder if I didn’t convince myself we were meant to be, just because he was my most logical choice.” I shrug, hesitant as I share feelings I never really dwelled upon until now. “Same job, same hobbies, same tastes… But it’s as if there was something missing.”

I don’t mention that I can only see that now that I’ve met Dane. The second I clapped eyes on the towering man in my doorway, he appealed to some visceral, animalistic part of me I’d long buried.

I’d rule it out as mere sexual attraction, if he didn’t have this magical effect on me. He may not talk much, but when he does, Dane’s words always go straight to my heart. Last week, when I told him about the sheep incident I never once shared, Dane somehow managed to unravel all the knots in my chest – freeing me to soar higher than I ever dared.

“The spark wasn’t there.”

I find myself nodding slowly. “Yeah. I guess that was it.”

“Was Caleb angry when you broke up with him?”

I peer at him in surprise. “Oh no, he broke up with me. Only a few days before you arrived, as a matter of fact.”

Dane sips from his glass with poorly feigned disinterest. “Why would he do that?”

“My mind was always elsewhere and…” Heat surges to my checks. “I was lousy in bed.”

All of a sudden, I’m treated to a shower of droplets as Dane spits out his water. His slate eyes are round as saucers, and that vein in his temple is ticking again.

“Is that guyout of his mind?!” He exclaims, inflicting a second round of spluttering upon me. “If anything,he’sthe one who must be lousy in bed. You’re phenomenal!”

Oh my.I remain in bashful silence for a few moments, reveling in Dane’s small outburst.He likes me. I’m not imagining things.The insane physical attraction, the jealousy, the longing looks, the sweet words that slip past his lips sometimes… All the cues are there.

Not so long ago, I would’ve doubted my judgment. Perhaps I would’ve put together a long list of signs both validating my theory and disproving it so I could weigh my chances. Like with Caleb, I may have waited years to act upon my feelings.

But it turns out my so-called ‘live-in professor’ has taught me so much more than how to be a phoenix. He’s shown me how to be bold, how to reach for the things that make me happy, how to go with my gut rather than the thousands of concerns I can conjure. All in all, to believe in myself.

Even beyond all the hints Dane has given me, I have a feeling, deep in my bones, that he and I are meant to be. That even if he listens to heavy metal and I’m a fervent follower of the indie scene, even if he’s intent on pushing me away when we can hardly keep our hands off each other, even if what I know about him wouldn’t fill a piece of paper, we share something special. And I’d be a fool to let him walk away.

“Sorry,” Dane rasps. “I went a bit far, forget –”

“No,” I blurt, heart drumming in my chest. “Dane… I-I really like you.”

My moment of courage is met with utter silence. Dane freezes and simply gawks at me, as if I’ve grown a second head. Humiliation begins to rear its ugly head, but I push it aside for the time being.

Maybe that was too generic,I reason. So I decide to give it another go.

“I’ve been pushing you away because I was afraid of the way you drive me kind of crazy,” I force out a laugh, but it’s ridiculously breathless. “Kind of like how I was afraid to fly. But now that you pushed me to embrace what sparks a fire inside me rather than stifling it…” I shuffle my feet awkwardly, wishing this ordeal were finally over. “Well I’ve chosen to be honest about my feelings for you.” I clear my throat. “You light a whole forest fire in me, I’m afraid.”

No answer. So much for metaphors and convoluted thoughts.

“And you?” How unfortunate that my voice chooses this precise moment to sound like Minnie Mouse. I clear my throat. “Do you have any feelings for me?”

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