Page 65 of Shattered Hearts

“Where do you want to go?” she asks, leading me to the elevator banks.

“Home.”

“Ha. Ha.”

She acts nonchalant, but with every floor the elevator climbs, more color drains from her face.

The building brings back a lot of memories. Not just of Ash and what he did, but of my childhood. My dad and his were best friends. I grew up in this building almost as much as I grew up in my own. The hallways feel familiar, the professional atmosphere. The quiet authority. Things got done in this building. Horrible, nasty, things. The employees of Black Enterprises thought they were making a difference. They were proud to work for their foundations. They were proud to negotiate business deals in the Blacks’ name until all the evil they were doing was exposed, revealing the Blacks for who they really are.

Stella knows this building as well, or even better, than I do, and she leads me to Ash’s office. The view from here is just as spectacular as the one Zane’s office gives us. The sun shines through the windows, highlighting the empty bookshelves and the desk that has been wiped clean. Nothing much remains in this building, and I wonder if they found all the secret passages that made the skyscraper so much fun to play in as a child.

“Do you think the FBI knows about Clayton’s penchant for hidden rooms?” I ask as she walks around the office.

“After Clayton and Ash were arrested and Willow was taken into custody, I showed them all the hallways and rooms top to bottom. It took me over a week.”

“Where did you stay?”

Pausing, she swallows. “I’ll show you.”

She slides one of Ash’s bookcases aside, easier now, because all the books are gone, to reveal a hidden doorway and walks down the carpeted hallway to a door that’s ajar. She nudges it open wider revealing a pretty bedroom that appears normal—a queen bed, a white desk. A TV, and a large bathroom. Thewallpaper is periwinkle blue, and plush carpeting matches the walls. It doesn’t feel like a prison, but I know it was. The doors in the secret hallways never lock from the inside. I sigh and run my fingers over an armoire. This room, too, was cleared out, not a scrap of anything personal left behind. I can’t think of anything to say, nothing that wouldn’t sound stupid or trite. It’s my fault Ash trapped her here...because I was too much of a coward to say anything to anyone.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be. Zarah, the things Ash made us do, the things he did to us, they meant something, you know? We didn’t suffer for nothing. In the end, they’re the ones who are trapped now, aren’t they? We didn’t let them win. We fought.”

“Youfought,” I correct her. I haven’t done anything but hide in a closet like a little kid and cry.

She stares out the window, a scene she must have memorized. Which building, which lights belong to what company, what time they flicker on as the sun goes down. The Renegade snakes through the city, pewter grey hugged by snowy banks.

“Are you saying you didn’t? You don’t? Every day is another day you may not remember something, or that you’ll remember something you don’t want to. It must be so hard for you, to want to remember and be scared of it at the same time.”

“I’d rather remember, even the bad things.”

She rests her hand against the glass. “Sometimes I wish I could wipe it clean, but you’re right. If I don’t remember the bad things, I’ll miss so much of the good. I love Zane, Zarah. I love him so much.”

“He loves you too.”

“I know. But if it came down to me or the past, which do you think would win? What wins, every time he looks at me?”

I stand next to her, look out the same window, but we see different things. “There is no contest, Stella. Youarehis past,andhis future, because you’re his whole life.”

She tries to smile. “Clever.”

“True. Why aren’t you two married yet?”

“We’re waiting.”

“For what?”

She tugs off her coat and drapes it over her arm. “Things to blow over. We don’t want to go away on a honeymoon until all this is done.”

“That sounds like an excuse to me. Zane still wants to marry you?” I ask, though I know he does. Besides me getting better, it’s all he wants.

She holds up her left hand, the little diamond my brother gave her seven years ago twinkling on her finger. “He wanted to buy me something bigger, but I said I wanted to keep this one. Ash took it, and I felt so hopeless. Now it’s a symbol of strength and truth and I won’t let him replace it. Yes, he still wants to marry me.”

“Then he should get to.”

I pull my phone out of my purse and bring up Peggy’s number. Zane made sure it was listed in my contacts in case I couldn’t reach him in an emergency. “Peggy, it’s Zarah.”

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