Page 97 of Just One Silver Fox

Nate immediately recognized one of the yoga rooms at the club. Morning sunlight streamed through the windows, the city sparkling in the distance. There was one person on the mat, her hair swept up in a ponytail. It was Sonia, dressed in a black tank top and tights, the F5F logo on the front. He was impressed that her midriff was bare, because usually she covered it up. She looked happy and confident, which made him feel like he’d been part of a good change. She was doing some warm-up stretches as the camera eased closer and Nate did the same.

“Hi,” she said, turning to the camera with a smile that made Nate’s heart go boom. He thought about her whispered confession in the darkness and told himself to just forget it. He couldn’t, though. He wanted so much for it to be true. “I’m Sonia,” she said. “I teach yoga at Flatiron Five Fitness when the club is open, but this is my first time doing it in a video.” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m a bit nervous.”

“Don’t be,” someone said from the other side of the camera and Nate recognized Cassie’s voice.

Sonia laughed. “That’s my boss,” she confided. She really had a natural poise with the camera. “One of the people who encouraged me to do this.”

“Guilty as charged,” Cassie said and the camera spun around so that she could wave to the viewers. As always, Cassie wore black yoga gear, but her tank said #MeToo.

Really? Cassie was so strong and forthright that it was hard for Nate to believe anyone had ever taken advantage of her.

The camera turned back to Sonia who was sitting cross-legged.

“Our plan is for this yoga podcast to be a bit different,” she said. “I want it to be about your entire personal journey, not just about learning some yoga moves. Do you love the person you see in the mirror? I didn’t, not for the longest time, so I’ve been there and done that. A big part of what made the difference for me was regular yoga practice. It’s not about how your body looks—it’s about how you feel. When you feel stronger and you stand taller, your perspective changes, your mind clears, and often the world responds to the change in you.”

She gestured and the camera angle widened. There were now two people sitting on the mat behind Sonia: Meesha and Jacquie. Jacquie looked like her usual calm self in her black yoga gear while Meesha was beaming in brilliant pink.

“Two friends are joining me today,” Sonia said, gesturing to Meesha. “My co-worker, Meesha, is hoping for a little more flexibility.” Meesha raised her hands and rocked her hips, making it clear what kind of flexibility she was after. Nate couldn’t help but smile. He missed Meesha’s enthusiasm. “My co-worker, Jacquie, wants to be rid of the last of her mommy tummy.” Jacquie patted her belly which looked fine to Nate. “It’s not about what you see when you look at them,” Sonia said, as if she’d heard his thoughts. “This class is about each of us actualizing what we want for ourselves.” She looked earnest and Nate had the sense not only that she was speaking directly to him, but that she cared about his well-being. This was her gift and part of the reason her classes were popular.

The camera closed in on Sonia again. “You’ll want to watch the episodes of this podcast in order, as each session will build on the previous one. If you think the work-out is gradually going to get tougher, you’re right. You can repeat sessions that are harder for you and make sure you’re ready to move on. Take it at your own pace. You can find all of the sessions right here, forever.” She pointed down and a website url appeared at the bottom of the screen. “We’ll start with lots of stretching, suitable for beginners. We’ll talk about the poses and the breathing as we go, as well as what you might be feeling. Please remember to be kind to yourself. Change takes time and patience.”

“You can’t hurry love,” Meesha said and Sonia smiled.

“Something like that. If you need to take a break, that’s okay. Listen to your body: it will tell you when you’ve done enough. It’s better to err on the side of caution in this. Don’t bounce when you stretch and don’t push too hard. If you come back every day and just try, we’ll make progress together.” She smiled. “Trust me on that.”

Sonia stood up, moving with that elegant grace, shook her hands and rolled her shoulders. Without thinking about it, Nate mimicked her gestures. “My favorite thing about yoga is that doing your best is enough. It’s actually more than enough. All you need to do is show up regularly and try. Choose a time that is good for you, a time that you can regularly dedicate to taking care of yourself. If you keep trying, your best will improve over time, as mine did. When I started out, I could barely manage the simplest stretches, the ones that are easy for me now. But we need to make gentle progress. If you feel your heart beating quickly or your face getting hot, just pause and take a couple of breaths before you continue. If something hurts, please stop.”

She beckoned and the camera zoomed in closer. “Let’s start with some breathing. We’ll do this with every session. It’s a great way to shake off whatever has been happening in your day and focus. Stand straight on your mat. You should be comfortable. Relax and pay attention to your body. Is your back straight? Are your shoulders back? Imagine an invisible string pulling upward from the top of your head, making you taller and straighter. Ease your shoulders back and tuck in your stomach, holding your core in place.” Her voice became melodic, almost meditative, and she spoke more slowly. Nate heard a little bit of music in the background. “Take a breath, inhaling through your nose, and feel it fill your lungs. Feel it push your ribs open. Hold that breath for a moment and notice how it feels. When you exhale, do it through your mouth, very slowly.” Sonia did this. “Close your eyes and take six deep breaths, listening to your body as you do so. We’ll move our hands out and back with each breath. Inhale slowly now…and hold it for a moment, then exhale, blowing through your mouth. Good. And again.”

For a moment, they just breathed. On the sixth breath, Sonia spoke again. “I breathe like this whenever I need to center myself,” she confided. “After I have a nightmare, for example, or when I’m worried about something beyond my control. I just breathe in and out like this, and it helps.”

There it was, the first hint that she had some vulnerabilities. Nate doubted he was the only one to notice—or the only one who was ready to take her side.

Sonia was unhurried but had to be keeping to a schedule. She guided her viewers through a series of poses, giving advice and checks, just the way he would do with weights. Nate felt more confident than he ever had in yoga class. He also warmed up over the course of the class, and felt that he’d had a bit of a workout. The forty-five minutes went quickly.

“Good job,” Sonia said, in a sitting position facing the camera. There was a bit of perspiration on the front of her tank top and her cheeks were pink. “Close your eyes for one final breath. Inhale and take an inventory of your body. Are you tired in some places? Do you feel like you’ve had a good stretch? Are you relaxed? Exhale and compare how you feel now to how you felt at the beginning of the class. I hope you feel better and stronger.” Her smile flashed and her eyes lit. “I do.”

“Totally,” Meesha said.

“Me, too,” Jax agreed.

“You have a small homework assignment, too, because change isn’t just physical.” Sonia spoke to the camera. “Think about what you would like to see when you look in the mirror. Do you want to be able to touch your toes? Do you want to have more energy? How much? Identify a goal and quantify it. You don’t have to share your objective with anyone, but you might want to write it down and place it somewhere where you see it each day. I think it’s better to start small because when you meet one goal, you can always set another. If your goal is a long way away, you can lose heart on the way to it, even if you’re making progress. There’s a lot to be said for incremental progress that can be celebrated.”

She became serious. “Here’s an example from my own journey. When I started yoga, I wanted to lose quite a lot of weight, but I made my first goal a step, not the entire journey. My first objective was to lose twenty pounds. I wrote that down and put it under my alarm clock, so I could read it every morning and every night. I bought a dress I really liked that I knew would fit me at that weight and I hung it on the closet door, in plain sight, for inspiration. It took longer than I’d hoped, but I did it, and I wore that dress when I did. I felt like I’d conquered the world, then I set another goal. So, think about your first goal and make it one that you believe you can achieve. Think of the reward you’ll give yourself and make it a good one. Having an incentive helps. Loving yourself is a powerful tool for change.”

Sonia stood up for one last stretch. As she reached for the ceiling, she continued to speak quietly. “There may be emotional reasons why you want to make a change. You may have scars: they might be visible or they might be hidden deep inside you. That doesn’t change how much they influence you or your choices.” As she stretched, she turned around. Her hands came down her sides and she slid down the top of her tights to reveal the scar around her hips. “Here’s one of mine that is visible sometimes,” She looked over her shoulder at the camera. “When I lost the weight, I had to have my excess skin removed. This scar has a partner, up a little higher. There’s no reason to be ashamed of your scars. They’re part of what makes you who you are.” She smiled a little. “Think of them as battle wounds, proof that you’ve survived something tough. Own them and the experience that gave them to you. And never be afraid to ask for help. It takes strength to admit you need anything, but we all move forward by helping each other.”

“Make the world a better place,” Meesha interjected and Sonia’s smile lit her eyes.

“Exactly. And start with the person you see in the mirror each morning. Thank you for joining me today,” she said, turning back to the camera. “I’m honored to share your journey with you.” She pointed down and a website address appeared at the bottom of the screen again. “Send me a picture of you at the end of our first class. We’ll share some on the social media for F5F or you can open an online account with the club to track your personal progress.”

“We’ll pick a winner for every fifty photos,” Cassie prompted off-camera.

Sonia raised a hand to her lips. “Thanks, Cassie. I almost forgot. We have notebooks available in the F5F online store, and we’ll give one away for every fifty photos submitted by midnight tomorrow. They’re really pretty.” The image cut to the notebook in question, which was black imitation leather with Sonia’s logo on the front in pink script. “We chose to have a journal first, since it’s so helpful to write down what you’re thinking and feeling as you move toward change.” She laughed a little. “I filled enough journals to load up a bookcase. On tomorrow’s podcast, I’ll tell you more about what led me to Flatiron Five Fitness and yoga. In the meantime, send me your pictures and show me the beginning of your journey.”

The url flashed.

“I hope to see you next time. Until then, be kind and be well.” Sonia waved and Nate almost waved back.

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