Page 129 of Just Trouble

Luke’s voice is getting a bit rough when the tempo slows and the lights come down. He takes off his guitar, handing it off to a roadie, and slings the strap of an acoustic guitar across his shoulders. The crew move around him, placing a stool, positioning a microphone for the guitar, bringing a second stool for Jason, who also has an acoustic guitar. Luke surveys the crowd as he drains a bottle of water. Can he see them? I can’t imagine that he can with so many lights on him, but it feels like he’s looking at each and every one of them.

“We all know how this show usually ends,” he says, plucking a sequence of notes on his guitar. “This is a song written by Taylor. It’s the most successful song he ever wrote and maybe even the best one.” There are cheers of approval. “It’s a song about love, and I’ve always thought of it as being about romantic love.”

He shakes his head, watching as he plays a few more bars of the song. “But Taylor hadn’t yet met the person who might be his partner. Maybe he was dreaming of her when he composed this song. Maybe he was just thinking about love, in all its variations. As we rehearsed for tonight, I realized this song isn’t necessarily about a partner. It could be interpreted as being about a parent, or a child.”

He nods to Jacob who is also strumming. “A sibling.” His voice drops. “A friend. So, tonight, I’m going to sing it for Taylor,for the friend and brother and son that he was, for his kindness and his wisdom, and for all the love he brought into this world in his time here. This live version will be released as a single—it’ll drop tomorrow at noon, provided I don’t screw it up.” There is a ripple of laughter. He strums again and his voice is thick when he continues. “I haven’t gotten through it yet in rehearsal, but we can do part of it together.”

He bends over his guitar to play the opening sequence, then looks up and smiles. “There,” he murmurs. “You lot in the back corner have it right.”

I glance back to see a sea of lights in the highest seats, then others are illuminated throughout the crowd. The pinpricks of gold pierce the darkness like an ocean of stars, looking brighter as the lights dim. Abbie’s hand slides into mine. When I turn back to the stage with a lump in my throat, the back screen is illuminated. Luke and Jason are sitting together, silhouetted as they play together. The labyrinth that had been on the screen at the beginning appears again, then a slideshow launches with images of Taylor. A spotlight picks out Luke as he starts to sing.

I’ve always thought it was a beautiful song, but it’s been a while since I listened closely to the lyrics, or maybe since I really heard them. On this night, they’re all new with Luke’s suggestion, and I hold up my light in the darkness, mesmerized by the slideshow of Taylor’s life. He’s often laughing, frequently playing his guitar. He and Luke are together a lot, often visibly teasing each other, standing back-to-back on stage as they perform, or dead asleep in adjacent bunks. There are pictures of the band in a recording studio, looking frazzled as they work out a song, triumphant as they get it right. I have a sense of Taylor as a benign and nurturing giant, one who brought out the best in all of them, maybe even the adhesive that held the band together.

Luke lingers over the words, imbuing them with a power and conviction I’ve never heard before. It was always a great song buton this night, Luke makes it a brilliant testament to the power of love. The music soars around us, the band giving their best, making Taylor’s song into a classic. I know this will be streaming everywhere within moments.

It’s so beautiful.

Luke’s voice breaks once, on the final chorus, and the audience raises their voices as one to sing the finale with him. I glance back to see the lights swaying in time throughout the crowd. I can see that Jason is crying, biting his lip even as he plays the final chords. I know that his grandparents have a place in the wings to watch and can only imagine that they’re loving this. The song ends on an aching triumphant note, one that Luke holds for half of forever. The screen displays Taylor’s name and his dates, then changes to a photo of him smiling.

The applause erupts, coming from every corner, growing to an impossible volume. Luke swings his guitar around to his back, then goes to Jason. The two of them hug, then the other band members come to join in until the four of them turn to consider the crowd.

“You’re all amazing,” Luke says, his voice husky again. “Thank you so much.” They clap and stamp and shout for another few minutes as he visibly composes himself, then he takes off his guitar. A roadie brings him a different one and I have to think it looks a lot like the one that has had pride of place in my living room until this week. “But we can’t entirely break with tradition, can we?”

A mauve bra is flung onto the stage from out of the darkness and Luke smiles at the sight of it. “It’s Taylor’s tribute,” he reminds the crowd and they laugh with him. He sits back on his stool, playing a little melody as he talks. “The thing about Taylor is that he was all about following your heart, taking a chance on what you believe. Taking a risk instead of playing it safe. He used to say ‘jump and the net will appear’ which is easier adviceto give than to take. But inspired by him and his conviction that love would always conquer all obstacles, I’m going to take a chance tonight. Instead of singing to someone I don’t know, I’m going to sing to someone I love.”

Abbie clutches my hand and holds it tightly. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

Luke continues. “I think that follows Taylor’s legacy. And what I’m going to sing to her is the first song I’ve written in almost a year and a half. Taylor taught me a lot about composition, when we wrote songs together and when I learned to play his songs, so this song, in a way, is another tribute to him. I could never have written this love song without his mentorship. And I wouldn’t have been in the right place to fall in love, without him giving me a good hard nudge.”

There is a chuckle at that.

“We haven’t charted a path forward for the band yet, but this will be our new single. It might be our last single, but we’ll see. Either way, the studio version drops at midnight. Again, if I get it right, there will be an alternate live version available soon.”

He exhales, sounding nervous again. “You know, this is the first time I’ve ever brought this guitar on stage. It’s my favorite guitar, the one I like to use when I compose, the one I reach for at home. I composed this song on it, so I couldn’t play it on any other guitar.” He looks up. “This is the first time I’ve sung this new song before an audience, and the first time we’ve ever performed it as a band. So, be merciful.” They laugh at that, and my heart might explode.

“Like I said, this one is for someone special.” Luke comes to the lip of the stage and my heart stops cold when he looks right at me. He smiles, a crooked smile that doesn’t hide his uncertainty, a smile that tears me apart. “Hey, Daph,” he says softly. “I’ll sing to you whether you prefer to stay there or come up here. Either way, this one’s for you.”

He’s made a similar invitation a thousand times to a thousand other women, but this time, he’s saying it to me.

Only to me.

And whether or not the audience sees who I am is entirely my choice. That’s Luke, protecting those he cherishes, letting me decide.

He wrote a song for me. That’s why he wanted us to sit up front. That’s why he wanted to be able to see me, because this was his plan.

He’s not leaving. He’sstaying.

Just like he told me weeks ago. He loves me and he’s staying with me.

And that means I don’t want to hide in the crowd. I want to be right there with him. I want to have this fantasy moment and let the whole world see. That he’s uncertain of me at all means I need to fix it and show him that I love him with all my heart.

Words aren’t enough.

I take a step and Wookie is instantly there, lifting me bodily over the barrier and up onto the stage. Luke gives me his hand and pulls me up beside him, his gaze searching mine. I smile at him and squeeze his hand tightly, and relief lights his eyes.

“That’s why Row A,” I mouth and he nods with a grin. I realize that I’ve been his for the taking, ever since he walked into my office and put his helmet on my desk. I didn’t know half of how wonderful he is, and it seems like I just fall deeper in love with him every passing day.

Luke leads me further onto the stage, urging me toward the stool that Jason abandoned. I’m oblivious to everything but the glow in his eyes, the curve of his smile. Then he drops to one knee before me, strums the opening notes, and begins to sing.

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