Page 55 of Just Trouble

12

LUKE

Safe.

Safe.

I’m outraged by a single word. Safe! Who wants to be safe?

Sheep are safe. Savings accounts are safe. Staying inside the house and hiding from the world is safe. Who would have expected Daph to want that?

Not me.

I thought she’d be fearless, diving into this new experience like a skydiver, ready for all the sensation and all the thrills.

But she preferssafe. I can’t make sense of it. She should be audacious, ready to take on the world, demanding that her every wish comes true. She could be a superhero, a warrior queen, a vigilante for justice, or just plain courageous.

I could have been the asshole and pointed out that Justin the Marvelous hadn’t been that safe a choice after all, seeing as he’d mucked around on her, but I hadn’t been able to do it.

Daph’s expression softened when she talked about him and her voice dropped low. She wasn’t able to look me in the eye, so lost in sweet memories.

Still in love.

I saw that tear.

That sight was a knife to my heart. Does she really still yearn for that loser? Or is it the contrast with me that’s making him look good?

Safe. I want to snarl at someone, howl at the moon maybe, rev the engine on my bike and go roaring out of town.

No, I want to convince Daph to come with me.

By the time I reach the motel, I’m getting soaked. I leap up the stairs, needing a really hot shower. Time for some clean clothes and maybe a fresh perspective. Last night was awesome in every way, but surely that can’t be it? I’m not nearly done with Daph.

Is she done with me? My reaction to that is instinctive and immediate, but that doesn’t mean I’m right.

I have to wonder what I’ve done to spook her. Shaken her awake? Frightened her with the prospect of really living? Maybe she can’t deal with a lack of control. But I’ll never be anyone’s pet poodle. I can’t really understand why anyone would want to control their partner or companion.

I meet my own gaze in the mirror and allow the scary thought.

Maybe Daph’s not really The One.

I can’t believe it. I don’t believe it. I know she’s the only woman for me.

But maybe I’m the only one who’s falling fast and hard. That’s not difficult to believe, since I’m an all or nothing, all-in kind of guy. I leap before I look, every time, and follow my impulse, wherever it leads. No one would ever imagine that I’m a safe choice, the cautious one, the sure bet. On the other hand, I’ve done a lot and seen a lot in my time so far. Mostly, I’ve had a great time. No one could accuse me of sitting back and waiting for anything.

Would I wait for Daph? Absolutely.

Could she fall for me the way I am? I have no clue.

The trick is that I’m going to have to convince her to take a chance on me, and I see that it’s not going to be an easy sale. (Thank you, Justin.) I’m going to have to dig in and make a conscious effort to win her over. I can’t assume that things will fall into place, not this time, it’s too important. I have to believe I can make a favorable impression in comparison to Jerk Justin.

I mean, the bar is low.

But Daph’s expectations are high. What have I done to challenge them? Hired her and seduced her in less than forty-eight hours. Jumped right in like this is one-and-done.

No wonder she thinks there’s no future in this. I even told her that I was going to leave. Why would she expect me to hang around?

That wouldn’t belogical.

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