Page 52 of Shadowed Spirits

A teal pool sits at the center of the cave, its calm waters almost mesmerizing to look at. The only sounds in the cave, besides the six of us, are the gentle breeze and dripping water from somewhere farther in. Unfortunately, there’s no giant, flashing sign advertising that this is the right place. After a two-hour hike up here with nothing to show for it, I’m ready to go home, but I know we need to keep looking at the other locations.

“Yeah, I don’t see anything useful here, either. We should probably portal back and regroup before we do anything else.” Waiting until we all nod, Bishop uses his magic to open a gateway that Luca, Archer, Cain, and Levi all hop through before I have a chance. Shaking my head at how they always need to be first, I walk through.

Instead of popping out back at the Nightshade keep like I thought, I walk out into a bustling street. I’m immediately bombarded with the sound of shrieking laughter, groups chatting among themselves, and vendors shouting to try to snare the attention of the people walking by. Taking in a surprised breath, I’m overloaded with the scent of so many different foods that all smell delicious. I look around at the neon lights that line the streets on both sides of a canal with glassy black water in wonder before spinning back to face my mates. “What’s this?”

“Happy birthday!” they shout at once.

I can’t keep the stupid grin off my face as Bishop shoves a batch of chocolate cupcakes with purple frosting into my arms. They look suspiciously like my mom made them. Her chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and strawberry filling has always been my absolute favorite dessert, so I’m not surprised he brought them with us.

“What? How? I thought we were just looking around the mountains today?” I’m sure my eyes are as wide as saucers right now, but I’m just so surprised, in a good way. It’s pretty hard tosurprise me. My family has tried to throw me surprise parties for years and never succeeded.

“You really thought we’d forget your birthday, wildcat?” Luca cocks an eyebrow at me like I really should know better. His lips twitch up when I roll my eyes at him. “Bishop mentioned how much you hate your birthday, so we figured we’d do something different than a traditional party.”

Bishop grins down at me. “A Japanese night market seemed like something you’d enjoy, with how much you like to bake, cook, and try new foods. There’s no shortage of street food to try here.”

When I don’t say anything, Cain pinches his brows in concern. “Do you like it, angel?”

I let out a watery laugh. “I love it, quiet boy. Thank you all for being so thoughtful.”

“Ready to explore, little raven?” Levi offers me his hand. I take it, and he pulls me along this side of the canal. Bishop and Luca walk in front of us, Archer beside me, and Cain behind us. As we weave in and out of the stalls, we pause to try any of the street foods that look good. The six of us talk, laugh, and stuff our faces with some of the best food I’ve ever had until I think I’m going to be sick. After we’ve been wandering for an hour or two, Levi drops back to talk quietly with Cain, so it’s just Archer walking next to me now.

After walking in companionable silence for a bit, Archer bumps his shoulder with mine. “So, how’s it feel being twenty-two? Any different?”

I’m silent for a moment, trying to see if there’s something that magically changed after I completed another trip around the sun. “Not really. Did it feel any different when you turned twenty-two?”

He hums thoughtfully. “It did, yeah. My twenty-second birthday was my second without my parents. My first wasshortly after, so it passed in a daze of pain and grief. Turning twenty-two was the first birthday I really felt the absence of our parents. Luca and Cain were drowning in pack responsibility, so no one remembered it other than me. I spent the day by our lake, hiding out from everyone. Turning twenty-two felt so much different than I imagined it.”

My chest aches at the pain in his voice and that everyone forgot about his birthday. He doesn’t seem mad about it, but it still makes me hurt for him. “I’m sorry, sunny boy,” I whisper. “Why were you hiding from everyone?”

Archer gives me a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Because I couldn’t pretend to be okay. After a few months of dealing with my grief by selfishly acting out, I realized that I needed to grow the fuck up and be there for Luca, Cain, and the pack. The only thing I could really offer was unwavering optimism, shitty jokes, and an always present smile.

“On my birthday, though, I couldn’t muster even the little I usually did. All I could do was try not to get swallowed whole by how much I missed my parents, our old life, and the people Luca and Cain used to be. My mom always made such a big deal about birthdays, so I felt her absence really strongly that day, too. No one needed to see how much I was hurting for stupid reasons when they were all struggling with so much more and handling it better. I gave myself the day to wallow in it. Then I packed it all away and vowed to do a better job for everyone.”

I don’t even know how to respond to all of that, so I fling myself into his arms. He catches me with anoomphand a small chuckle. Archer bands his arms around me and squeezes me to him like I’m the only thing keeping him from drifting away.

When his hold on me eventually loosens, I pull back to look at him. “None of that was stupid to hurt for, sunny boy. You lost your parents, the life you thought you’d have, and your brother and friend in a way. Anyone would be struggling with that. It’seasy to look at everyone else and think they have it together better, but they don’t. You’re allowed to take up space, Archer. You’re allowed to hurt and need comfort and be more than just a handsome face who makes other people feel better.”

His teal eyes bounce between mine as he seems to consider. “But it’s my fault,” he whispers.

“What?” I ask.

“It’s my fault they died. I was supposed to be on patrol that night, but I ditched to get drunk and party with my friends. I stumbled home hungover the next day, not knowing anything about the attack. Luca, rightfully so, tore me a new one when I eventually I did come home. As he pointed out, if I had been patrolling as I should’ve, maybe the vamps wouldn’t have overpowered the guards and gotten to my parents. Maybe I could’ve stopped them.” His rough voice trembles as he struggles to say it all. Archer avoids my gaze as he looks anywhere but at me as he talks.

I can feel my heart splinter in my chest at the visceral guilt on Archer’s face and in every word he says. “Oh, sunny boy. You were a dumb college kid, and you made an irresponsible choice. But I doubt you being there would’ve stopped them. They got through however many guards and your parents, so they probably would’ve torn through you. Then Luca would’ve had to bury his entire family that day, instead of just part of it. It wasn’t right for Luca to take out his grief on you, and none of what happened is your fault.”

Archer stares at me in shock. “How can you say that?”

“I can say it because it’s true. Do you honestly think you were strong enough to stop an entire force of one of the strongest supernatural creatures on Earth? When all the guards and your alpha, beta, and luna parents weren’t able to?” Even being partcuraand a spirit mage, I struggle to take on more than a few vampires by myself. They’re crazy strong and so hard to kill.I highly doubt twenty-year-old Archer could’ve done much to them.

“No,” he breathes.

“Exactly. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault, other than the vampires who attacked.” I stare up at him, wordlessly pleading with him to believe me.

Archer’s eyes shine with a guarded hope. “You really think that?”

“I really do.” I reach up to cup his face in my hands. He closes his eyes and leans into the touch. “You’re perfect as you are, sunny boy. You don’t need to change yourself to atone for what happened to your parents. You don’t have to be what you think everyone else wants you to be. All you need to be is you.”

His eyes bounce between mine for several moments, as if he’s trying to find the lie in what I said. He’s going to be looking forever because it’s all the truth. “You have a way with words, sunshine, you know that?”

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