Page 59 of Spicy Sapphic Christmas

“So.” Jo smiled, her eyes wide with questions as she looked at Bea. “What inspired this sisterly get together?”

“What do you mean?” Bea knew exactly what Jo meant. They spent a lot of time together—they always had. But Jo had never been oblivious to Bea’s inability to just say what was on her mind.

“What’s going on?”

“I need to tell you something I did, and I’m not sure how you’re going to handle it.”

“Okay.” Jo’s smile spread across her face, and she leaned forward, eager to hear what Bea had to say.

Bea ran the pads of her fingers over her palm, trying to work out the best way to word why she had gone to Siena.

“I might have crossed a line.” Bea started, and Jo’s smile grew. “But I’m worried about you, and I felt it was important to let Siena know.”

“What?” Jo’s smile vanished in an instant. She leaned away from Bea, eyes blinking as though she had just been woken in the middle of the night. “What are you talking about?”

“I told Siena about Mandy.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m worried she’s going to worm her way back in and make trouble again.”

“You mean for us.” Jo rested against the couch, her shoulders slumped and her head dropping forward.

“My biggest concern is you.” Jo knew that, didn’t she? Had Bea really gone on about the band more than her concern for Jo?

“I know.” Jo nodded and lifted her head.

Bea had to give her credit. She’d imagined Jo going off at her about interfering in her life again. She even managed a weak smile for Bea. The tension Bea had been hoping to ease hadn’t, and she couldn’t put her finger on what was still holding her in this place of stress. Bea clenched her jaw and sucked down a big gulp of beer.

“There isn’t anything else you want to tell me?” Jo’s lips quivered, trying to find that big smile again but not quite managing it.

The rapid knocking on the door saved Bea from having to answer immediately, but as she grabbed her wallet and paid for the pizza, her mind whirled about what Jo might want her to talk about. What had that big grin been expecting to hear?

Food and napkins sorted, the sisters sat more comfortably, relaxing into memories of when they had shared an even smaller apartment than Bea’s current one. They were halfway through the first slice, and Bea still couldn’t place that tension. She hated it. She wanted the ease that they used to have together. She wanted her sister back.

“Jo, what did you think I was going to tell you?” Bea put her food down and grabbed her drink. She’d do anything to mend what she’d so clearly broken.

Jo’s smile returned as she finished her current bite of pizza. “I thought maybe there was something you were going to tell me about.” She let the word linger in the air between them.

“Tell you about?” Bea loved her sister, but this was not one of the things she particularly enjoyed. “Just spit it out.”

“I was kind of hoping you’d tell me what’s going on with you and Bunny.” Jo wrinkled her nose before taking another bite of her pizza.

“Oh.” Bea’s stomach flipped over at the mixed thoughts speeding around her mind like race cars on a track.

“Oh?” Jo smiled. It was the smile that reminded Bea of the early years. Of nights lying awake, talking about dreams for the future, touring the world as a famous band and truly living the life they both wanted.

“I really like her,” Bea said.

“Yes!” Jo fist pumped the air, and Bea rolled her eyes, though the smile lingered on her lips. Just saying those words out loud brought a happiness to her that she hadn’t felt in ages. “But it’s crazy and stupid, and I don’t know what the hell is going on between us. And after today… I just don’t know.”

“So there’s something going on?” Jo wriggled around, crossing her legs and giving her full attention to her big sister.

“Yeah.” Bea bobbed her head back and forth, unsure if the answer to that was a simple yes or no. “But I have no idea what it is.”

“Do youlikelike her?”

“Oh my God.” Bea laughed, her cheeks burning as the memories of Bunny’s face between her legs multiple times resurfaced. “Are we teenagers again?”

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