Page 81 of Spicy Sapphic Christmas

The words exploded from Bunny’s mouth. So much for approaching this professionally. “Do you seriously think bigotry and homophobia have just disappeared? That they just went poof and vanished overnight?”

“No, I don’t.” Bea turned on the piano stool and faced Bunny. “That’s what you’re afraid of.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then why are you so scared to even sing a single song about love just because it’s between two women?”

Their voices had grown louder, and Jo and Piper now stared at them. Jo stopped working on her dance number for song number four, and Piper now had her headphones around her neck. The strap on the guitar hung taunt on her neck, taking more of the instrument’s weight than her hands.

“I’m not the bad guy here.” Bunny moved her head quickly, scanning over all of them but not settling on any of their eyes. “You’re all acting like children. Young, naive, and with this fucked up notion that living your truth is going to save you from the vultures.”

“You don’t get to talk to me that way.” Bea’s mouth puckered up, her eyes squinting daggers toward Bunny. It was hardly an attractive expression, and yet somehow, Bunny wondered what it would be like to kiss every new shape of Bea’s face.

She shook the thoughts from her head and scoffed at herself. She couldn’t honestly be screwing this up again, and yet it was like she was watching everything in slow motion in front of her and she couldn’t stop it. Bunny was on a quick spiral down to the bottom. She just hoped she reached it soon enough so she could drag herself back up.

“Not everything needs to be about people’s sexuality. You say it shouldn’t matter. But here you are, every single one of you, trying to make a charity about single mothers of all things, into a show all about your sexuality. If you want to be successful, if youactually want to get anywhere in this business, you have to do the work and make the sacrifices. This job is about hard work!” Bunny bit the inside of her cheek, making her stop talking before she said anything else that would land her in the hot seat. And she managed to stop herself in time and to tamp down that ego that was rising up and rearing its ugly head.

“Wedodo the work.” Of all people, Bunny hadn’t expected Jo to be the one to speak up, especially to argue with her. Her eyebrows were pulled down and the sadness in those wide eyes made Bunny understand just a little about the web Piper was so willing to crawl into. But those eyes and that innocence didn’t work on Bunny. In fact, it proved her very point.

“Bunny!” Piper’s shock was evident, but the reprimand only fueled the fire she hadn’t been able to put out.

“Bunny what?” Bunny snapped right back.

“You don’t have to be such a bitch.” Bea’s words were laced with venom. “You’re getting what you want. But that’s not enough is it? Even when it’s your way, you just can’t help making sure we know how much better you are than us. Nothing else matters but what you want out of it, and if anyone dares to do something you aren’t brave enough to do yourself, you’ll do whatever it takes to step on their neck.”

“Is that how you see it?” Bunny’s breathing was becoming too hard and too fast. But she wouldn’t leave here being accused of being the bad guy.Because I’m not better at this than you.Those words, the ones that might have actually helped them both, died on her tongue before they could fully form.

“That’s how it is.” Bea crossed her arms over her chest, hip cocked out to the side.

Bunny shook her head as she took them all in. Bea with her anger and defiance on display. Jo with her head down, no longer able to meet Bunny’s eyes. Even Piper glared at her. Bunny had dug her own grave—much like she’d accused Bea of doing—without even seeing it. It was three against one, and she wasn’t going to be able to yell her way out of this one.

“Piper,” Bunny tried. Anything to get herself to stop acting like such a fool.

Piper shook her head, arms crossed, and her shoulders set. “You’re acting like a bitch. Bea’s right.” The parroting of Bea’s words did nothing to cool the embers of shame burning inside of Bunny.

Bunny couldn’t find words. How could she? She’d been exactly what they’d called her out on, and she still couldn’t force her body to do anything about it. Her feet wouldn’t move, her tongue wouldn’t make words, and her voice wouldn’t carry to their ears. Bunny was frozen in fear and shame.

Bea snorted and threw her hands up in the air. “Then I guess I understand fully now.” She stood up and stalked toward the door, without even tossing a look over her shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Bunny called out, worry edging into her voice and her body. Was Bea really leaving? For good this time? Bunny wouldn’t be able to handle that, would she?

“To another practice room. Any other practice room. I’m not your student, and seeing as we don’t need to practice anything together, I don’t need to stay and be lectured, especially by you. And who knows, maybe I’ll even find a little scrap of professionalism somewhere.” Bea walked out and left the other three staring after her.

Bunny ignored how dry her throat had gotten, and the hitch and wobble in her voice. She stood in silence and shock, staring at the door Bea had just walked out of. But she could barely breathe. How long did she stand there? Because when she turned back around to figure out what to do next, Jo was singing beneath her breath as she moved in step to the rhythm again and again. She didn’t look up or stop.

And Piper shot her a glare while she stretched. If sewing her mouth shut for a few more practices and a one-time only show was the price to pay, she could handle that. She just needed to get herself together again.

At the piano bench, where Bea had sat, Bunny put her fingers onto the keys. As always happened the moment she heard that first note, Bunny felt the tension fall away from her shoulders. At least, she expected it to, but it didn’t work this time. This was why she wasn’t going to risk everything she had worked for. The life she had built up, all because the youngest new group in town decided being out was the only way to live.

Bunny kept playing and playing. Her fingers ached, but the rest of her body finally released a small amount of the tension after hours sitting there. Her mind clearer, she walked over to her bag to get a drink. Only then did she realize her headache had finally gone.

And so had Jo.

Jo had left without saying goodbye. Had Bea left as well? Had Bea even stayed? She probably hadn’t. She probably stormed off in a full tantrum, which frankly, she deserved to. Bunny had been a bitch to her particularly. Bea had borne the brunt of Bunny’s wrath.

Bunny was surprised Piper was still there. Surprised but relieved to see that not all of Piper’s dedication and work ethic had disappeared because of some big eyes and similar energy. But also surprised because Bunny’s temper tantrum had exploded on everyone that morning, and she deserved to be left in the dust that day, left and made to think about her actions and words. That shame clutched her heart again, and she couldn’t shake it—not that she thought she deserved to.

Bunny went back to her music. She was still playing when Piper tapped her on her shoulder.

---