Page 79 of Spicy Sapphic Christmas

“It’s not.” Bea staggered back a step. If Bunny really thought that, no wonder she was in the position that she was in. “It’s really not.”

Bea grabbed the doorknob and turned it, but Bunny was there in a second, her hand on the edge of the door, holding it open only a few inches. Bea sucked in a sharp breath, barely able to stand next to Bunny for this long without wondering about so many things.

“Don’t let personal feelings get in the way,” Bunny whispered, stepping closer.

“In the way of what?” Bea was so confused now. Was Bunny talking to her or herself? Because it sounded like the latter. Bea swallowed hard. “I’m not going to tell Jo she can’t date just because of a job.”

“This isn’t a job. It’s my life.”

Bea paused before responding. “Are you that scared that we’re going to ruin your life?”

Bunny met Bea’s gaze again, but she didn’t move, and she didn’t answer. They stood in silence for far longer than was comfortable. She was just about to make another move to leave, when Bunny shut the door firmly and took hold of Bea’s wrist again.

“We’re done talking, Bunny,” Bea said matter-of-factly. She didn’t want to race through any decisions, but at this point, she had nothing else to say or add to the conversation. They were clearly on opposite sides of the fence on this one.

“So we are.” Bunny moved in swiftly, pressing their mouths together.

Bea squeaked before she melted. Bunny was so good at this, always able to take her by surprise, always full of fire and lust. Bea carded her fingers through Bunny’s hair, moving her lips and her tongue against Bunny’s mouth.

Bunny turned them, pushing Bea into the door and sandwiching her body. Bea groaned, her eyes fluttering shut as she almost gave herself over to the embrace. But something about Bunny’s behavior that night made her want to hold back. She had to put an end to this. Now. Before she couldn’t separate her feelings from sex.

Bea pulled back and sucked in a sharp breath. “Bunny. Stop.”

Bunny halted everything. She was frozen on the spot, waiting for Bea to give the next command. Bea had to work hard to catch her breath, barely able to focus her brain after the desperation that had flowed from Bunny to her. Shaking her head, Bea slid away from Bunny’s grasp.

“I’m not going to do this anymore,” Bea stated simply.

“Do what?”

“Anything when it involves you. I don’t live in a closet of my own making or choosing. And I’m not going to join you in yours.” Bea’s chest constricted from the pained expression that crossed Bunny’s features. Did Bunny even know she looked devastated by that revelation?

“Get out,” Bunny ordered.

“Absolutely.” Bea didn’t hesitate as she walked out of Bunny’s condo.

She made her way back to her car and slid behind the wheel before she managed to pause. She should have waited until after the charity event to do it, but she couldn’t force herself to go against her morals either. She couldn’t fake being someone who didn’t care, and she couldn’t fight to make Bunny care either.

The end was as it should be.

They could go to rehearsals and work together from there on out. Surely both of them could be professionals when it came to the concert coming up. Bea started the engine and pulled her seatbelt on. She still hated that it hurt so much, though. She hated that she wanted to climb into her bed and wrap herself in her blanket and cry.

For fuck’s sake—they weren’t even dating and this felt like a breakup.

It was for the best though. Bea couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t even accept herself.

TWENTY-FIVE

bunny

Bunny’s head thumped, and her stomach roiled. But as usual, she was the first one at rehearsal. She was a professional after all.

She had laid out three sets of stapled paper on the rectangular table. They didn’t have many practices left and the show was getting closer far faster than she would have liked. But had she panicked that not a single one of the songs was one hundred percent polished yet? No, of course she hadn’t. She had spent the night forcing herself not to relive the argument with Bea yet again, and instead to list the things they needed to get perfected by the end of each remaining practice.

She took the fourth seat at the table. They still weren’t here. It was less than five minutes until rehearsal time started and not one of them could be bothered to get here early enough to warm up and be ready to go by the start of it.

Using two fingers on each hand, she rubbed small circles into her temples, trying again to stop herself from reliving that fight with Bea.

It wasn’t as though they hadn’t fought before. But something about this time felt sharp and so final. Bunny hadn’t been able to say what she wanted to say, and every time she’d opened hermouth, she had made the situation a hundred times worse than it already was.

---