Page 94 of Spicy Sapphic Christmas

“I still have that,” Jo mumbled. “I don’t understand what you mean. You’re really leaving?”

“Yeah.”

“You won’t even consider doing the charity event and then talking about it after a break?” Jo knew she was clawing for a grip, but she couldn’t stop herself. They’d only ever talked about the two of them building their career and band together. They’d never discussed going solo. Ever.

“I can’t.” Bea distracted herself with adding salt to the eggs on her plate, tearing open the butter and ruthlessly attacking the toast with it.

Jo winced at the move. If Bea wasn’t mad at Jo, then she was certainly mad at someone else, and her guess was Bunny. It had been so tense in the rehearsal studio lately. No one in a ten-mile radius could miss it.

“But you’re still doing the show with Bunny and Piper.” Bea looked up and smiled. “And I have some great news.”

“You’re moving overseas, and you never have to deal with me again?” Jo tried to force her lips into a smile, but she failed.

“Jo.” Bea rolled her eyes. “Since when did you ever let anything get you so down that you bought into this miserable attitude?”

Jo shrugged and shoved a forkful of her pancakes into her mouth.

“The reason I wanted to do brunch with you this morning was to tell you that Siena has agreed to represent us.” Bea beamed as she spoke. “She’s going to represent both of us. She isn’t exactly happy that it’ll be two different contracts. But she would prefer to represent us individually than not at all. Herwords.” Bea shoveled a forkful of her eggs into her mouth. “She’ll help make sure you get those dreams.”

“And what about you?” Jo worried her lower lip, eyeing Bea. How could she be so calm about this? How could she not even think that Jo would be upset over it all?

“My dreams were never as big as yours. But we’ll always be sisters, and I’ll be in the front row every chance I get.”

“I don’t want it to be fake.” The words came out before Jo could stop them.

Bea stopped her fork halfway to her mouth. The fluffy scrambled eggs she had scooped up fell down onto the very edge of her plate.

“I really like her. No. I love her. I love Piper, and I don’t want any of it to be fake.” Jo sniffed as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Oh.” Bea placed her fork down with a clatter and reached over the table to grab Jo’s hand. “Was all of it fake? I mean, I knew you two were spending a lot of time together, and well, I was pretty sure you were at least sleeping together.”

“It wasn’t all fake.” Jo wiped her cheeks with her free hand as she squeezed Bea’s fingers with the other.

“Ouch.” Bea flexed her fingers, and Jo eased up. But only enough to stop bruising either of them.

“Sorry.”

“Uh-huh.” Bea gave Jo a mock stern look, and Jo smiled, letting out a small laugh.

Even with her heart shattering inside her chest, Bea could always make her smile. Bea had always been a light to help her find that sunshine within herself.

“What am I going to do?” Jo asked, big eyes pleading for her big sister’s guidance. “I don’t want to lose Piper, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m positive I’m not the right person to give any kind of relationship advice.” Bea winked. “But make sure you give Piper a big hug for me when you see her at rehearsal today.”

“I still can’t believe you quit.” What was she going to do without her big sister?

She didn’t want to be alone, not even to chase her dreams. But she could do that without Bea if she had to. She supposed she had to now. Being alone wasn’t something she had ever truly reached for. Even when Bea was on her back, and she wanted a little more breathing room. She hadn’t wanted Bea gone entirely. They’d been a pair, Irish twins, ever since Jo had been born and they’d been inseparable.

“Bea?” Jo asked.

“Yeah?” Bea swallowed her mouthful of food and looked at Jo.

“I’m in love with someone, and I don’t think I’ve ever been before.”

“Then maybe I’m not the person you need to be talking to about that.” Bea returned to her food.

Jo forced herself to eat, and after a few minutes the two of them moved onto other topics as though Jo hadn’t just smeared her heart all over the table between them. She loved her sister. For always being there for her, and for always finding a way to bring things back to a place where Jo could breathe easily again.

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