“Luka here’s been our personal chauffeur,” Ainsley shouts from beside him. I can hear the cabbie’s enthusiastic agreement.
I shake my head, smiling now. “I’m in room 306. See you soon.”
I expect Taylor to end the call, but he doesn’t. “I called you, love. A bunch of times.”
His words pierce my already aching heart, sending another wave of hot tears down my cheeks. “I know. I had my phone off since the flight. I’m sorry.”
“I’m going to make this up to you,” he whispers, and I can hear the emotion in his voice as well.
“Taylor, you don’t have to?—”
“Gemma.” He stops my arguments short with the use of my name, which he rarely uses. “I’ve had a harsh dose of realitythese last twenty-four hours, and what’s become painfully clear is how misplaced my priorities have been. And that’s on me. I made you feel like you had to run off, like you couldn’t share the best news of your life with me. That I wouldn’t be happy for you. That I wouldn’t choose you over everything else.”
I have to hold my hand over my mouth to keep from interrupting him with another sob. I want nothing more than to cut in and tell him it’s okay, that it’s my fault too, but I can tell he needs to get this out, so I stay silent.
“I don’t know how it would have gone if you’d told me last week or last month. And that shit kills me. It kills me to know there’s a possibility I would have let you go. But that’s all over, okay? I’m here. And I'm always going to be here. Wherever.”
“But your house, Taylor…”
“The house is gone. It’s done. Like it should’ve been years ago. I just dragged that shit out, god only knows why?—”
“Because it was important to you, Taylor. That’s why.”
“Yeah, that’s true. But it never should have been more important than you. It never was, but I made you feel that way. That’s on me.”
I can’t think clearly enough to form a response that’s not just an attack of questions about the house, so I stay quiet. Taylor’s quiet as well, the two of us breathing together over the background of horns and sirens and car doors and elevator dings.
The knock at my door comes before I’m ready, but I spring to my feet anyway, phone still held to my ear.
“Hey,” Taylor says as I swing the door open. He still has the phone held to his own ear.
I end the call, letting my arm drop to my side. His gaze is heavy and tired, locked on mine as we stand facing each other through the door frame.
“I feel like I just walked onto the set of a David Lynchfilm,” Ainsley’s saying, pushing past Taylor to walk into my hotel room.
I glance back with a smile, watching him spin in place taking it all in. “I’m glad I can amuse you with my seedy hotel room.”
“Not seedy. It’s…retro.” Ainsley turns and walks back, coming up behind me until his chest presses to my back.
I let my eyes drop closed as I take in the feeling of his body on mine.
Was I really going to give this all up?
I catch my breath and open my eyes to find Taylor still in the doorway, watching me. “Come in.”
He obeys in silence, closing the door and leaning against it. I walk forward until my face is an inch from his chest and look up at him as he looks down at me. It’s a position so familiar, a wave of longing threatens to send me to my knees.
“Are we okay?” I ask in a whisper.
He shrugs, and my heart breaks.
A fresh wave of tears roll down my cheeks and Taylor just watches. When he finally speaks, I wish for the silence to come back. “You don’t trust me.”
“Taylor, I didn’t want you to give up your dream for me. Either of you. You both have important things in your life and packing it all up to move to New York wasn’t in either of your plans.”
“That was our decision to make. Together.”
“I know. I should've told you, but?—”