Page 18 of Our Deceptive Heat

Maybe then we can all move on instead of floundering in the past, stuck on what if, what was, and what could have been.

Chapter six

Ryn

The secrets we keeptie us oceans apart- Ryn Raines

Breathing has become the sole source of my focus. I need to pay attention to it, trying not to breathe in their scents. It’s so potent, so strong. I forgot how intense they were. Almond for Digs. Oak for Tyr. Mako smells like the beach, and Envy has a distinctive woodsy cinnamon scent.

I focus on the notepad in my hands and think about Tyr’s awful request. A song about the end of friendship. Is that what’s going to happen to us? Is that how all these years are going to end?

Mako shifts his weight, and I almost explode from the chair.

“Gotta use the bathroom.”

I don’t wait for an answer. I just bolt down the hallway and slip into the room, locking the door behind me.

I pull out my phone and pace in the small space.

“Ryn?”

I start to laugh and cry; the panic overwhelming me. I can’t even answer.

“Ryn, where are you?” Lia demands. “I’ll send Ianto to cut a bitch!”

“I’m hiding in their bathroom,” I whisper. “Well, the hotel bathroom. I’m refusing to come out, but I have to. I owe them a song.”

I sit down on the toilet and double over, unable to stop the tears that I’ve been holding back since I first laid eyes on him. The adrenaline and panic are crushing.

“If they are hurting you, I will destroy them!”

And she would do her very best. Lia is fierce. She is loyal and beautiful, and we’re as close as sisters.

“No,” I protest. “They would never hurt me.”

“Do you want to come home? I can invent an emergency,” Lia says cautiously.

“Yes! No! I want to finish this,” I groan, “but I don’t want to end it. I don’t know what I want.” I spit out the words in a helpless whisper.

“Ryn, have you thought about maybe telling the truth?”

Ice slithers down my spine, leaving me cold and empty. The tears are gone and so is the panic.

“Of course, I’ve thought about it, but if I do that, my life ends, my dream ends, my freedom ends,” I say in a taut voice. “I can’t trust them. I can’t trust anyone.”

“Auryn,” the sympathy in Lia’s voice breaks me. “I would never hurt you. You could tell me at least.”

Regret fills me, knowing I will hurt my cousin. “I can’t, Lia. It’s not just my life that will end if I tell. No, I will stay here, and I will get through this. It’s just one song, right? Write them a song and leave.”

“Ryn!”

“It will be fine. I’ll be fine.” I don’t know if I’m trying to convince her or me. “Thanks for calling. It helped.”

“You called me.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, thanks for answering.” I lick my lips and brace myself. “I love you, Lia, and I’m so glad you finally found a way to be with your pack. So proud of you. I knew you would end up together eventually.” Lia deserves her happily ever after. She really does.

“Auryn!”

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