Page 35 of Our Deceptive Heat

“Tyr, read this.”

“It’s not what he wants. It’s a love song, not a friendship ender,” I protest, trying to get the notepad back.

Tyr ignores me, catches the notepad when Digs tosses it at him and starts reading.

Mako leans over and reads the words of my heart as well.

I close my eyes. I don’t want to talk about that song. They can’t have it. It’s private and personal. My face flames. If a hole opened and spat me out into the atmosphere, I’d be relieved right now.

“Who is it about?” Tyr demands, his gold eyes blazing. The scent of oak gets stronger, and he shifts so that he’s facing me with clenched hands. “Who did you write this about?”

I panic. I can’t tell him the truth. There’s no way. I shiver and rub at the soft material of my jacket. The touch comforts me.

I force myself to stare at my hands. “No one.”

I breathe in. I breathe out.

My eyes give me away. I glance up at Envy, then across to the others. No one is looking at me, and I finally turn away in relief.

“That one is not yours,” I snap, finding myself again. “You can’t have it.”

Tyr hands the book to Envy with a smirk in my direction. I want to slap him. Envy hesitates. I know he really wants to read it, yet he closes it and hands it back.

“She said it’s not ours. Leave her alone. We’re not bullying her into a song she doesn’t want to give us.”

The cold rebuff does the trick, and Tyr and Digs sit down and go back to whatever they were doing.

I hold the book to my chest and stare blindly at the computer. I can’t work, so I start shutting programs down and sit back, feeling more ashamed that I ever have.

They return to ignoring me. It hurts, but it’s better than having their eyes on me and their sharp words cutting at me. It’s better than questions about who I’m pining for.

I glance at my laptop and see another email from my father. I almost ignore it, but terrible things happen and then multiply when you ignore an email from my father.

Opening that email only brings prompt and cruel regret. I tremble, but even clenching my hand into fists doesn’t stop it. I open my mouth several times until I finally find my voice.

“It would seem that my father has decided to appoint you a songwriter to help you with your block.”

The band comes alive, turning towards me with several variations of shock and rage.

“He can’t do that!” Tyr hisses.

I shrug. “He just did.” I hesitate as I read more, refusing to give the band anymore of my attention. It would seem I’m to go and meet with the alphas that are potentially going to be my future pack, too.

My vision blurs. I shift my weight and blink several times, trying to get my brain back.

I’m so cold.

I blindly send back a polite response and acknowledge the demand for me to meet the pack for dinner at the hotel tonight.

It’s during tonight’s show. That’s good, I guess. It will give me a good reason to not watch them. That’s a silver lining, right?

I can just do this and leave. It will be fine. Still, I can’t seem to find a way to calm the bubbling and roiling need to scream.

“Fish, are you all right?”

I blink and find Mako crouched beside me. I’ve got my fingers wrapped around my jacket, twisting it in a stranglehold. My breaths are coming out in pants. He glances at my screen, and I quickly hide it. I have no idea how much he read.

“I’m fine.”

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