Rourke wasn’t a liar. He didn’t have that urge most people had to please and protect others. Rourke was brutally honest, almost savagely so. He didn’t pick and choose his words either. He came right out with it, and if you didn’t like what he had to say, then deal with it or get out of his way. He made no apologies for who he was and how he thought about things. I loved that about him. Even back in the beginning when he was being a heartless jerk to me, I always admired his honesty.
“And please,” I added, holding up a hand. “Choose your words better than last time.”
Britt is a girl I occasionally fuck.
Ugh.
“You really want to talk about her?” he asked, raising a brow.
No, I didn’t want to talk about Britt.
Ihadto.
Mustering up as much courage as I could, I nodded once and said, “I want to know.”
“Fine.” Reaching forward, Rourke grabbed a bottle of water from the cup holder and took a deep sip before exhaling heavily. “Ask your questions, Six.”
Tucking my legs beneath me, I angled my body to face his. “How long were you with her?”
“Five years,” he replied stiffly.
“Five years?” That was a freaking lifetime. “Since you were twelve?”
“Yeah. Britt was my first girlfriend,” he replied before releasing a harsh breath. “What am I saying? She was my only girlfriend.” Sighing, he added, “We were close growing up. She was one of my best friends. When we started dating in the sixth grade, it kind of felt…inevitable – like being with her was what I was supposed to do.”
“You lost your virginity to her?”
“Yeah. Sophomore year.”
“How old were you?”
“I don’t know… maybe sixteen?” He seemed to think about it before repeating, “No, I was still fifteen at the time. Britt was sixteen. She’s older than me by a few months.”
Oh my god.“You had sex when you were fifteen?”
He looked at me sheepishly and shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”
“So, you haven’t been….” My words trailed off and I blushed a deep crimson color before forcing myself to say, “Is she the only girl you’ve been with?”
“Fuck, Six,” Rourke grumbled, rubbing a hand across his face. “Are we really going to talk about this?”
“I want to know,” I admitted, jutting my chin out.
“Fine.” Rourke threw his hands up in defeat. “Yes. Britt is the only girl I’ve ever slept with. I’ve kissed other girls since we broke up and done some other stuff, but Britt?” He paused, nostrils flaring. “She’s the only one.”
Fuck.
He really did belong to her.
“Did you love her?” I blurted out. What was I saying?Of coursehe loved her…
Rourke nodded once, the movement stiff and almost reluctant like it was painful for him to admit this to me.
My heart sank. “Do youstilllove her?”
Rourke’s jaw clenched and he stared out the window for the longest time before turning his attention back to my face. “I’m not in love with her anymore.”
His answer bothered me. Because he didn’t say he didn’t love her. He said he wasn’t in love with her anymore.