Page 24 of Pocketful of Shame

"Can you relax?" Pres said, giving me a knowing look. "She'sokaynow. You can breathe again." He walked away without waiting for a response.

When he disappeared inside the diner, I exhaled a ragged breath and rested my forehead against the metal of the truck, eyes locked on the girl inside. "Fuck."

How was I going to handle an undisclosed amount of time in close quarters with her? I could hardly breathe right now and she wasn't even awake. What the hell was I going to do when she opened her eyes again? For a brief moment, I debated flagging down a car and getting the hell away from this life, but decided against it. I could never go through with it. If I could leave Romi Dillon, honest to god leave her and never look back, then I'd have done it two years ago.

Savagely, my mind decided to take this as the perfect opportunity to taunt and goad me with memories of another lifetime…

"Romi?" Pushing her bedroom door inwards, I quickly slipped inside and closed it behind me before Mr. Dillon caught me sneaking into his house after dark and told my daddy. "You in here, Ro?"

"Over here, Sketch," a small voice sniffled.

Brows furrowed, I followed the voice, stepping over a Barbie tea party as I moved. "What are you doing under the bed?" I asked, dropping down to my knees so I could get a good look at her lying on her belly under her giant princess bed, with her face in her hands. "You were 'posed to meet me in the treehouse after school today, remember? I waited 'til it got dark, but then I got hungry and Miss Cherry was calling for me."

"I know." Sniffling, she tucked her hands under her chin and looked up at me. "S-sorry."

Frowning, I crawled under the bed, not stopping until I was sitting lying on my belly, facing her. "Why are you crying, Ro?" I whispered, reaching out to wipe a tear from her cheek. Her golden hair didn’t have any braids or red ribbons today. "I hate it when you cry." It made my chest hurt.

Snaking a hand out, she grabbed mine and pulled it to her cheek. "It's happening again."

"The bad dreams?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded. "Feels like it's really happening." Another sniffle. "It's like I can really hear the screaming. Like out loud."

"It's just a dream, Ro," I replied, letting her squeeze my hand. "I already told you, it ain't real."

"But what if it is real, Sketch?" she croaked out. "What then?"

"Well, I'm here now," I told her, trying to sound brave. I knew why she was so scared, because I had the same dreams. "And I ain't never gonna let anyone hurt you."

"You swear?" she whispered, eyes wide.

I nodded solemnly. "I swear."

"Can you sleep over?" she asked, shuffling closer. "Please?"

"Mama says I ain't allowed to sleep in your room," I reminded her. "'Cause I'm seven and have a penis."

Romi scrunched her nose up. "Ew. Gross."

"Can't help it." I shrugged. "That's what I got. And your daddy said I ain't got no business sniffing 'round you." I frowned, still confused by that. "I don’t even sniff you."

"Well, I don’t care," she finally replied. "You're still my best friend and I want you to stay over. You make me feel safe."

"I'm your best friend?" I smiled proudly. "Not Chris?"

"Ew. No. Chris is a goodie two-shoes." She shook her head. "You're my favorite."

"I ain't never been anyone's favorite before."

"Well you'll always be mine."

"Okay," I said, mind made up. "I'll stay tonight."

"Really?" She beamed. "You will?"

"Uh-huh." I smiled back at her. "Ain't like anyone's gonna notice I'm gone."

"You gotta sleep under my bed again," she said. "So Daddy doesn’t catch you in here. You know how mad he gets at you."

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