Page 50 of Pocketful of Shame

"And that's it?"

"That's it."

"Are you sure?"

I cocked a brow. "Why are you questioning me like we're still in a relationship?"

Her cheeks reddened but she didn’t back down. "Why are you answering my questioning like we're still in a relationship?"

I shrugged. "I guess old habits die hard."

"I guess," she replied and then blew out a pained breath. "I miss the old you."

"Yeah, and I miss the old you."

Her eyes widened. "You do?"

I nodded. "Of course. Spent eleven years with the old you."

Sadness enveloped her features. "We had some good times, huh?"

My throat felt like sawdust, but I forced myself to swallow. "Yes."

"It hurts," she whispered. "Seeing you like this. So cold. So…closed off."

"Need help with anything else?" I asked, quickly veering the conversation back to safer waters. I didn’t want to fight with her. I didn’t want to be responsible for putting that sad look in her eyes, the one that made me want to kick my own ass, but I couldn't pretend everything was fine when it wasn't.

Looking around aimlessly, I located her boot and quickly snatched it up. "Here, let me help with this." Kneeling on the floor before she had a chance to say anything else, I carefully placed her foot back inside. "That feel okay?"

"Yeah," she replied, watching as I adjusted her boot until it was strapped back on. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Keeping my head bowed, I debated what to do next before deciding that I needed to move.

She took that option away from me when she cupped my face in her small hands, causing my body to ignite in a sick form of pained pleasure. It was too much.Shewas too fucking much for me.

"Don't," she said, tugging my face up and forcing me to look at her. "Don’t run." She trailed her thumbs over my cheekbones, causing a shiver to rack through my body. "Just…stay and finish this with me."

I closed my eyes. "Romi, you need to not –"

"Look at me, Sketch."

I shook my head. "I need to –"

"Look. At. Me."

Reluctantly, I did, and it hurt just like it always did. Wide eyes. Long, thick, dark lashes. Perfect eyebrows. Puffy, swollen lips. A cute button nose with a light sprinkling of freckles. High cheekbones and a tiny dimple in her chin. The dull ache in my chest that I carried with me these past two years grew and intensified.

Throughout a span of almost thirteen years, I'd watched her face morph and transform from a little girl to a woman; from toothless smiles, to braces, to a perfect white smile, from chubby cheeks to high, sculpted cheekbones. I'd witnessed it all, every stage of her face, and it hurt. Because hers was the only face I ever wanted to look at. Because her face broke my fucking heart.

"I didn’t get a chance to say it last night, but I'm sorry, too." She snaked around to grip the back of my neck. "For hurting you," she breathed, her eyes snaring me one blink at a time. "For lying to you." Leaning down, she stroked my nose with hers, nuzzling me tenderly. "For pretending to be your brother's when I've only ever been yours."

"Don’t." Exhaling brokenly, I rested my forehead against hers and clenched my eyes shut, absorbing this moment, taking it all in. "Ican'tdo this." I reached up to loosen her hold on my face, desperate to break the connection, but only ended up tightening it instead. I was drowning in my feelings. In the past. In my pain.

"You broke up with me and I was completely heartbroken," she continued, her voice a breathy whisper. Her hand was still on my face, thumb tracing my cheek, while she knotted her other hand in my hair. "I didn’t know about what my father did to you and I was so hurt, Sketch. So freaking devastated. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop crying. For two months, that's all I did. Rinse, repeat. I couldn't get past it. So, when Chris asked me out, I said yes."

I flinched and tried to turn my head, but she forced me to stay right there, on my knees at her mercy.

"I said yes to hurt you," she hurried on, breathing hard. "Because I wanted to make you wake up and realize that you'd made a mistake. Because I wanted to breakyourheart like you had brokenmine."

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