Page 23 of Nyctophilia

“No. My mom isn’t a wolf.”

“What? How does that work?” There was so much I didn’t understand. But I wanted to know everything about him.

I could hear his amusement over the phone. “Being a werewolf is a dominant trait, Green. My dad is a werewolf. Mom let me grow up with him so I could get the pack life.”

I told him about Merrillan, and how I felt like I could never shake the labels put on me as a kid. So instead I hid from people, from stories they could tell about me. “That’s probably why I don’t date a whole lot. The guys I went out with after college all knew me from high school and I felt like I couldn’t redefine myself,” I whispered to him one night, my eyes already closed from exhaustion.

“I still can’t believe that,” Jasper responded, his voice husky with sleep. “You should have guys knocking down your door, begging to take you out. On that note, remind me not to take you to Chicago. I might have some serious competition.” I had fallen asleep letting his voice wash over me, my whole body warm with the feeling of being desired.

Last night before Jasper had reluctantly hung up, he had told me he would text me the next day. So now, here I was. Sitting at my usual table at the coffee shop, and I was becoming one of those girls who stare at their phones until a boy messages. Because it was now 3:00 pm and I hadn’t heard a word from him.

Mollie had texted several times, and I had sent her back some brief messages, but I wasn’t ready to talk about everything with her. To top it off, I wasn’t even sure how much of my new life I could actually share. I had to get my story straight in my head first.

I felt a faint buzzing from my bag and lunged for my phone like it was on fire. I couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my face when I saw Jasper’s name on the screen. But my smile froze when I read his message.Sorry but I gotta take a rain check on our date. Something came up. Call you later.

My stomach sank. It sure sounded like he was blowing me off. Jasper hadn’t messaged me all day, and now he was sending a text cancelling our plans tonight. I felt irrationally upset. After all, Jasper wasn’t my boyfriend. Yeah, we had really hot sex but it didn’t mean anything. I had stupidly thought maybe it had been going somewhere. Obviously, he was a little too good at playing the game. Except… except for the fact he was also a werewolf. And a private investigator. Except for the fact he might not be blowing me off, something might actually be wrong. And he was hiding it from me.

I messaged him back quickly,Do you need help?

Nothing. Silence. Now I at least felt justifiably upset. Either I was being ghosted, or he was on some wolf mission I wasn’t a part of.

The afternoon dragged by. Jasper hadn’t messaged me back, and I found myself becoming increasingly annoyed. I forced myself to go to the gym, running until my legs hurt and my lungs felt like they were going to cave in. The endorphins didn’t help my mood any, and I sent Jasper another quick text.Are you okay?

No surprise, I didn’t get a text back. By the time I got home it was after sunset. I unlocked my door in the darkened stairwell, my thoughts spiralling, my chest tight. What if Jasper wasn’t blowing me off, and something was seriously wrong? What if he was hurt? I had no way to find him. I didn’t know where he had gone, what he had been doing today. Next time I needed to make sure I knew where he was going. I rolled my eyes. Bet my parents would know. But that wasn’t an option I wanted to explore.

Fuck. How had I ended up in this situation? To top it off, I was starving and my fridge was depressingly empty. I switched on my computer to play some angsty music, poured myself a large glass of whiskey and tried to think.

Betty came over to my hibernation spot on the couch and plunked herself down on my stomach, which was usually comforting. But not tonight. I tried to remember if Jasper had said where he was working this week, but nothing was coming up to mind. I was scrolling through old messages, hoping to find a clue when my phone rang. Only a few people ever called me and I didn’t really feel like talking to any of them. But I knew I couldn’t ignore my life forever, so I answered it. “Hello?”

“Oh my God, girl! I have been waiting all week to hear this great excuse Mr. Brooding came up with, so it better be a good one.” It was Mollie’s chipper voice on the other end of the line.

I sighed. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now, Mollie.” Either Jasper had dumped me after screwing me, or he was screwed. Neither was an option I wanted to explore with my perfect best friend at this point.

Mollie immediately went into guilt trip mode. “Come on, tell me the big, elaborate excuse for why he ran away from your apartment…” She stopped mid-sentence. “Ava Green. Are you listening to Death Cab for Cutie?”

Shit. I tried to turn off the music, fumbling off the couch as I did so. “No?”

“Girl. Did you sleep with him?”

I didn’t want to have this conversation. I wanted to have my drink, figure out what the hell Jasper had been doing today, and scold myself for not being better prepared. “Mol, can we not do this right now?”

Mollie was immediately sympathetic. “God, Ava. I’m sorry. Men are assholes. Do you need me to come over?”

Luckily, her empathy gave me an out. I felt bad, but I really needed to make sure Jasper was okay. “No, I’m okay.” It wasn’t the truth. But as I said it, I realized I had said those words way too many times the last few days. Pretty soon they were going to be meaningless. “Really. I’m gonna mope around a bit. Maybe clean my kitchen.” Mollie couldn’t come over. If she came over, I couldn’t get to the bottom of this.

She sighed. “If you’re sure. But call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Will do.” We made plans for our usual lunch next week and I hung up, turning up my music even louder. Fuck. Where the hell was he? I tried to call his phone again, but it went right to voicemail. Maybe hewasblowing me off. Was this what my life was going to look like? Never knowing if Jasper was ditching me or was in trouble?Ugh.

I took another large swig of my whiskey. I’d give him five more minutes, and then I was going to head out and start looking for him. I wasn’t sure where to begin, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t safe, but I had to start acting like a Venator at some point.

I didn’t know why I was so hung up about his safety and his whereabouts. At the end of the day he was just another guy who didn’t call. But I knew deep down it was more than that. We had connected, and I had spoken truths to him about my life I hadn’t even admitted to myself. I thought he had done the same. I took another drink, finishing my glass. Okay, no more drinking. I had shit to take care of.

My cell phone vibrated from my pocket. Probably Mollie again. I pulled it out to turn it off, but the name on it made me stop.Jasper. Finally. I released the breath I wasn’t aware I had been holding in. I didn’t even want to know where he had been anymore. But I knew that was a lie so I opened his message.Hey. Just got back to the motel. Sorry. Again.

That’s it?I huffed. I had been about ready to go out searching for this man in the dead of the night, and all I got was asorry?This was ridiculous. If he thought he could just brush off my messages, he was in for a rude awakening. Fuelled by alcohol and embarrassment, and messaged back.Don’t worry about it. I didn’t expect too much from you anyway.

Now I was a liar, too. I had expected a lot from him. But I shouldn’t have.

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