Page 25 of Delirium

I was also well aware of how quickly people could lose their minds in close proximity, and how easily it was to turn against someone when you weren’t thinking clearly.

My throat was dry and scratchy, but when I rolled over to chug my water bottle, I found it empty save for a single drop sliding down my desperate throat.

For someone who thought a lot about other people losing their minds, I really wasn’t thinking clearly. Unfortunately, my larger water jug was completely empty as well, which meant I had to trek down to the kitchen to refill both from the filtration system. That meant I might not be able to avoid everyone else.

Again, I truly wasn’t bothered. I just didn’t want to see the same expression on Scarlett’s face as she had when she left the dining room—the one of sheer disappointment. Then again, who would actively search out being regarded with such disdain? No one with their head screwed on straight, surely.

With a sigh, I got to my feet and pressed my ear to the window, I could just make out quiet conversation coming from the front of the boat. Earlier that day, I’d been overwhelmed by jealous when I heard Nash telling a story, obviously funny enough to make Scarlett laugh. Right now, however, it was silent.

Nash possessed a talent I was never lucky enough to have. I had to win over women with brains instead of humor. However, putting my useless feelings to one side, it also meant the other person on the boat was occupied. Camp was usually with Scarlett or holed up in his room most of the time, so I didn’t have to worry about him being in the kitchen, either.

I slid my feet into the deck shoes I kept next to the door, not bothering to button up my shirt. Nash barely wore a shirt half the time, and it wasn’t like I was planning on seeing anyone if I could help it.

Stepping out my cabin door, I immediately sucked in a deep breath, desperate for something other than stagnant cabin air. Hallway air wasn’t much better, but it was definitely an improvement. There was a tiny bit more of a breeze out here, too.

I slipped around to the stairs, pausing with my hand on the railing just to take the scene in. I hated the heat, and I hated the way my clothes stuck to my skin, and I hated the bugs that never seemed to leave me alone, but I had to admit—the viewwasbeautiful. I couldn’t tell you the last time I’d seen trees as green as these were, or the flowers as brightly colored as the ones that wound their way around anything and everything possible. It looked artificial, too overwhelming to be real. I’m sure Nash and all his expertise in fauna and flora could educate me on their exact genus and species, but hell if I would ever ask. Because I didn’t want details.

You could’ve told me I was on an acid trip, and I would’ve believed you.

Water. My parched throat reminded me I desperately needed water. In all actuality, I needed something a lot stronger than water, but I wasn’t about to start downing the hard stuff this early. If I did, it wouldn’t last the entire trip, and I had a feeling I was going to need it at some point.

“Fuck!” I whacked my head on the awkward ceiling stepping down the stairs, rubbing my forehead where a knot was sure to be starting. “Fucking boat. Who puts the ceiling that low anyway?”

I took back anything nice I’d just thought about this trip, my throbbing forehead reminding me of everything Ihatedeven more.

The boat swayed to the left, and I stumbled, barely catching myself against the wall. “Fucking river.”

Who even saw this shitty river and thought to themselves,maybe we should put a boat on this untrustworthy body of water and see where it goes?Obviously someone with nothing better to do with their time than torture generations of stupid tourists to come.

“Fucking Clancy,” I muttered, swaying with the unsteady boat. “Fucking investment. Fucking hidden city in the middle of nowhere.”

Three things happened at once. I reached for the kitchen door. The kitchen door swung open from the inside. And the boat sloshed angrily to the left.

Scarlett, who’d been behind said door, tumbled into me, and with no other option, I grabbed her as I fell.

Scarlett cursed as her back hit the wall, but at least she wasn’t on the ground. “James?”

I blinked, trying to make sense of the position we were in. In my efforts to keep her from hitting her head, we now faced each other, my arms pinning her against the wall on either side as the boat continued to sway.

She looked me up and down. I suddenly became very aware of how much skin I was showing. Fuck’s sake. I wasn’t supposed to see anyone on my trek down to the kitchen, and now here I was, chest to chest with Scarlett of all people.

“You okay?” I asked, ignoring the way my heart tried to escape my ribcage, or the insecurities creeping in that I was essentially shirtless in front of her.

“I’m fine. Just haven’t seen you in a few days. Well, since…” She trailed off, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I’m fine. Thanks.”

The boat righted itself, swaying me even closer into Scarlett’s personal space. We were inches apart, and I could see her hard swallow while she struggled to keep looking into my eyes.

For whatever she might think about me, she liked what she saw. A war raged beneath her skin, in that brain that never seemed to stop moving.

Why are you on this boat?

She cocked her head, peering up at me with those piercing blue eyes. I realized I had spoken aloud.

“Why areyouon this boat?” she echoed back. “You seem to hate everything about it, and everyone on it.”

I had her caged in, trapped between my arms and chest, stealing her air, breath for breath. There was something oddly intoxicating about being this close to someone who looked at me with such disgust in their eyes. I didn’t know if I wanted to breathe in deeper, lean into the feeling, or convince her I wasn’t the monster she thought I was.

Even if I was a monster of a different kind.

---