Page 62 of Delirium

“I’m not sure about that.” I laughed quietly, knowing she had no idea the depth of the feelings that sat in my soul.

“You just get so caught up in the negative that you forget to see what’s right in front of you sometimes.” Scarlett yawned.

“You’re a good guy, James. I know you think you aren’t, that you think you’re always one step too far in the wrong direction, but deep down you’re good. I can feel it.”

She tucked herself further into my chest, snoring softly within seconds.

Maybe this was what it felt like to feel safe. To feel wanted. Maybe this was the feeling I’d been missing my entire life. Because before I knew it, my eyes were drifting closed. I was safe and wanted, fulfilled for the first time in ages.

When my eyelids finally peeled themselves open again, the sun was streaming in through the windows, and my arms were empty.

Scarlett must have snuck out before I woke up. I mourned her missing weight, but the fact we had broken through whatever barrier separated us brought an unbidden smile to my face.

Maybe we really were more alike than I had ever thought. Even the thought of sharing her with Nash and Camp didn’t bother me, if it meant she was happy, and I got to keep this feeling of contentment forever.

I swung my feet over the side of my bed, not bothering with a shirt on top of my thin pajama pants. Manners were far past us. Besides, Scarlett and I had a lot to talk about seeing as the little minx decided to sneak out of my bed before I’d even woken up.

I stretched. Really, I don’t know how I could’ve expected anything else from her. She was always going to keep me on my toes for as long as I’d let her.

She stepped out of her cabin door right as I left mine, giving my shirtless chest a quick once over.Remembering the things we did last night, love?

I expected some kind of sarcastic quip. Something flirty. Instead, she barely smiled. “Morning, James. Hope you slept better than I did.”

I froze, looking at her face, something not sitting right. My heart raced, the same as it did when I thought there was a bear in my room. Dark shadows ringed her brilliant eyes, which was strange, because she had been snoring next to me for hours.

I remembered her snoring.I remembered…

“I mean, what sleep I managed to get wasn’t bad at all, but I can’t begrudge the rest of the night for going the way it did.” I raised my brows, waiting for her to wink, to smile, to do anything to acknowledge the time we’d spent in my bed.

Surely it couldn’t have meant that little.

Unless she regretted it…Shit.

She shrugged, looking away from me. “I guess everything that happened yesterday shifted my brain into overdrive. I couldn’t sleep.”

Those words were so familiar. Nearly identical to what she’d said to me last night. But why was she repeating herself?

“Well, I guess we better go and see if Nash needs any help getting ready.” She pulled her hair into a bun on top of her head, stepping past me onto the deck. “Are you coming?”

My arm snapped out, grabbing her and pulling her back into the hall. “Are you not even going to acknowledge what happened last night?”

“What happened last night…” Scarlett’s face twisted as she frowned, looking completely confused. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“What do you mean you have no idea what I’m talking about?” I snapped, my heart speeding up, thundering along with my words, my back crawling with heat and stress. “This isn’t a funny joke, Scarlett. If you have regrets, I understand. But don’t pretend it didn’t happen. I already told you, my heart can’t take the rejection.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, James. Stop!” She shook her head, wide-eyed. I realized I was frightening her.

When I released my grip, she took a step backward. My vision was fading to black, and I struggled to cling onto my remaining scraps of reality. “Scarlett. I need you to tell me the complete truth right now. You came into my cabin last night. We talked, and had sex. You fell asleep in my arms. I woke up, and you were gone. You havenorecollection ofanyof this?”

Scarlett paled. “James, I swear to you. I didn’t leave my room last night.”

“So…none of it happened?” The world spun too quickly, throwing me around on a carnival ride threatening to make me sick. “Are you telling me none of it actually happened?”

I needed it to be real. I needed that one good thing in my life to be real.

What the fuck was happening?

“I was in my room all night. I swear. I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

---