Page 53 of Delirium

I wasn’t sure we’d be able to fix him if they all left at once. This was a man who hadn’t been taught to process a single emotion, let alone decades—I assumed—of trauma.

“It’s okay,” I whispered, squeezing his arm. “It’s okay. I promise you, however this turns out, it’s going to be okay.”

“How can you be so sure?” His frantic blue eyes searched for something to save him from drowning.

I sucked in a quiet breath. “I’mnotsure. But what I can tell you is that you’ll be okay. Haven’t you made it this far?”

“You don’t understand.” He started to pull away, but I held his arm tighter. “This was my last chance. My last shot at keeping it all together. Clancy fucking promised me it was a gold mine, infallible. But what’s here, Scarlett? I’ll tell you what’s here. Absolutely nothing. No people. No treasures. No riches. Nothing to keep my family’s business from crumbling, the business that was left tome.”

“I’m here.”

James froze, eyes looking at me, through me, piercing me until goosebumps ran across my skin for an entirely different reason than before. “Are you really, though?”

I laughed, letting go of him to sit on the lone seat that hadn’t been overturned in the tent—an awkward camp chair. “I mean, I’d like to think I’m really here. Otherwise I’ve been doing a hell of a lot of work for nothing.”

James didn’t laugh. “I know you’re here. I know you’re in front of me. But are you reallyhere? Do you really care that much about me, or are you just here to ward off the explosion Nash is out there panicking over?”

The words I wanted to say tripped over one another in an attempt to escape my mouth, until I settled on, “Of course I care about you, James. I wouldn’t be here otherwise. If I didn’t, I’d let you simmer, boil, explode, and come back down to Earth, all on your own. I’m sure you’ve done it before.”

He crossed the room, crouching in front of me with his hands on my thighs. I tried to ignore the way his palms ran over my skin, stirring up feelings I’d been struggling to maintain. When he looked at me, nearly the same height thanks to his kneel, his icy blond hair was wild and skewed, his gaze searching.

“Why?” he asked. “Why do you care?”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been looking for, really? Isn't that what we’ve all been looking for? Someone to care despite the superficial.” I smiled, stopping myself from reaching out and stroking his face, or fixing his hair. “You think you’ve failed. But you haven’t failed me, James. Maybe it’s time to think about everything you have accomplished, instead of the things you haven’t. Do we know where Clancy and your men are? No. Do we know why they aren’t here? No. But stop for a minute, and look at what you’vedone. Your investment found a city even the locals thought was fiction. Did you ever think you’d be here? In the rainforest of all places?”

I might have stopped myself from touching James’ face, but he didn’t have the same restraint, snapping his hand out to grip my chin. “I don’t understand how you see right through me, every time.”

“A gift.” I shrugged, raising a brow. “Or maybe you’re more like me than you want to think.”

James closed the gap between us. My eyes widened. He was going to kiss me. Right now, of all times.

Logically, it made sense. Passion didn’t discriminate while it burned everything it touched. It just set it aflame indiscriminately, moving onto the next.

“I hope you’re not like me,” he murmured.

“Would that really be so bad?” My breath caught in my throat, my heartbeat hammering a rhythm I couldn’t count if I tried.

“Maybe if I were a better man. One worthy. Deserving.” He smiled, a sad, wry expression that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

It was my heart’s turn to catch midbeat. “I don’t think I’m any better than you.”

“Love, just the fact you’re here now means you’re a thousand times better than I could ever be. You’re not here because you have to be, or because you feel obligated. You’re here because you want to be. And that singular word puts us lightyears apart.Want.” His lips were a whisper away, a hair’s breadth, a butterfly’s wing. “You’re here in this tent because you want to help. I’m here on my knees in front of you because I wantyou.”

He brought his lips down against me, and without thinking, I kissed him back. James kissed me like a man starved for water, for air, forlife. His lips pressed against mine, demanding and insistent, everything I expected him to be. Everything I wanted him to be.

Everything I needed him to be.

I wanted to lose myself in the moment, in the way his hands slid up and gripped my ribs, bruisingly tight. I didn’t want to think about anything other than the way his chest crushed to mine, eliminating any space between us, enough so I could feel each shuddering beat his heart took.

James was wrong. I wantedthis. I wanted this strong man, the one who needed nothing other than himself. I wanted him on his knees in front of me.

But I didn’t want this moment, this kiss, like this. Not as an alternative second-place prize because he failed in his original goal. I wanted to be theonlyprize.

I pushed him back with a gasp. “Stop. Stop.”

James stopped immediately, looking at me with concern, hands pressed on either side of my face. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Fuck, I’m sorry.”

I pressed one hand on top of his. “Hush. I’m fine. I just…I don’t think now is the right time for this.”

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