Page 107 of I Saw Her First

I nod, staring morosely into my glass.

“I understand why you want him to fix things with his son,” Kyle says. “But… you staying away from Wes isn’t making that happen. You can’t control what his son is going to do, how he’s going to feel.”

“I know,” I mumble.

“And you’re just hurting yourself in the process.”

He’s not wrong there, because this totally fucking hurts.

“Not only because you’re refusing to be with the person you love,” he continues, “but because you’re letting the guilt win.”

I glance up. Is that really what I’m doing?

“Trust me.” Kyle gives me a knowing look. “I did it myself when Rich found out about me and Vi. And really, there’s no point. Guilt is a useless emotion, especially when you’ve done all you can do. At that point, you need to forgive yourself.”

I blink at him. “Forgive myself?”

He nods. “Forgive yourself for being human, for making a mistake. Yes, Wes’s son moved out and won’t speak to him, but from what you’ve just told me, it sounds like their relationship was incredibly rocky before you came into the picture. If anything, Daisy, it sounds like you’re the one who helped them.”

I look down at my hands. That’s true, but…

“Anyway,” Kyle adds, “you’ve done your best to fix their relationship, but ultimately, it’s beyond your control. The only thing you can control is deciding to be with Wes, but you won’t allow it. It’s like you’re punishing yourself.”

My lips part in shock. Is he right? Am I staying away from Wes because I feel guilty, because I want to punish myself? I’m about to respond when Violet arrives at the top of the stairs.

“There you are!” Her gaze lands on me and Kyle, and her smile fades. “Why the long faces?”

Kyle looks at me, indicating that it’s up to me to explain, and I offer her a faint smile.

“Your husband is giving me some very sound relationship advice.”

Her lips curve in a dreamy smile. “My husband. I love how that sounds.” She crosses the room and lowers herself onto Kyle’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking at me. “Is this about Wes? He’s like a lost puppy down there without you.”

Kyle chuckles, squeezing his bride. “That’s what I said.”

I gaze at my friends, my heart aching at how happy they look. I want that.

“I hopemy husbandwas helpful,” Violet adds, giving Kyle a playful nudge.

“He was very helpful.” I rise to my feet. “Thanks, Kyle. You’ve given me plenty to think about.” Then I head downstairs, leaving the happy couple to steal a moment alone.

The party is in full swing when I reach the yard again, and no one seems to notice the bride and groom are missing. Instinctively, I lift my camera and wander around, capturing some candid shots of couples dancing, drinking, laughing. I try not to think about Kyle’s words as I work, but they ring through my head.

You’re punishing yourself.

You’re letting the guilt win.

You need to forgive yourself.

I finish my round of pictures and wander to the back of the yard, by the brick wall of a neighboring building that backs onto the section. Here, behind the magnolia tree, I can hide in the shadows to gather my thoughts.

When I spot a familiar silhouette in the darkness, I realize I’m not the only one looking for somewhere away from the crowd.

“Daisy.” Weston’s voice is quiet above the music, but even as my eyes adjust to the shadows, I can’t make out his expression.

“Oh.” My stomach flutters with nerves. “Hi. I didn’t see you there.”

He gives a deep, weighted sigh. “I just… needed a moment.”

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